• Feeling isolated? You're not alone.

    Join 20,000+ people who understand exactly how your day went. Whether you're newly diagnosed, self-identified, or supporting someone you love – this is a space where you don't have to explain yourself.

    Join the Conversation → It's free, anonymous, and supportive.

    As a member, you'll get:

    • A community that actually gets it – no judgment, no explanations needed
    • Private forums for sensitive topics (hidden from search engines)
    • Real-time chat with others who share your experiences
    • Your own blog to document your journey

    You've found your people. Create your free account

Ego

1

142857

Well-Known Member
V.I.P Member
I'm a pretty reserved kind of guy. Withdrawn would better describe me most of the time. Yet I'd say that most people who get to know me seem to think that I am a genuine nice guy and quite humble.

I've lost count of the number of people who tell me that I don't have an ego.

But I think that I am one of the most egotistical pr*cks around. I think I am smarter than everyone.... I think that my opinions carry more weight than other people's opinions because MY opinions are logical and can be argued from first principles. I think I'm smug and condescending. Why can't people see what a tosser I am?

Maybe it is a bit like how dentists always tell me what a great patient I am because I don't get nervous at all. I want to tell them I AM NOT CALM, I AM FROZEN WITH TERROR!!!
 
Lol, I guess I do have a bit of an ego going by what you said. Okay, a lot of an Ego. I just think I hide it. :D Which would mean I didn't really have an ego I guess...

*shrug*
 
I used to have a terrible ego it was at severe narcissist level.
Now I think I'm just as stupid as 'them', but not happy.
There's like, 5-10 people who I talk to online who I think isn't an idiot. Even 5 is probably too many.
There's only one irl.
I have too high expectations for humanity and they're rarely met, so it just depresses me and makes me misanthropic.
EMZ=/
 
Chris...you don't hide it. Or if you do, it gets up and walks out of you screaming by itself.

Love you! :P
 
I secretly have a big ego, but I don't really show it. I try my best to treat other people kindly and respectfully (even though once in a while I get really, brutally honest and it offends them), even people I don't like, because I don't want to put up with the drama of getting in trouble, but if I don't like someone I'm always mentally criticizing them and then complaining about them in my diary, and thinking about how glad I am that I'm not like them.
 
142857 said:
I'm a pretty reserved kind of guy. Withdrawn would better describe me most of the time. Yet I'd say that most people who get to know me seem to think that I am a genuine nice guy and quite humble.

I've lost count of the number of people who tell me that I don't have an ego.

But I think that I am one of the most egotistical pr*cks around. I think I am smarter than everyone.... I think that my opinions carry more weight than other people's opinions because MY opinions are logical and can be argued from first principles. I think I'm smug and condescending. Why can't people see what a tosser I am?

Maybe it is a bit like how dentists always tell me what a great patient I am because I don't get nervous at all. I want to tell them I AM NOT CALM, I AM FROZEN WITH TERROR!!!
Click to expand...


How a person thinks of himself, or of others, doesn't matter...so long as he doesn't act on it. By you description of others reactions....you having a large ego doesn't matter...unless by thinking you ARE smarter than others means you will be condemning yourself to perpetual stagnation (a more learned person has nothing to learn from others of lesser views).

From your posts...I don't believe you are a poser...you possess good critical thinking skills. Many people do not.

Your ego is the right size, if in fact it is true as to why it is big. However, if you have an out-sized ego because you are the big fish in a very little pond...then it should tell you to move on to larger waters.

Some of the worst ones are the ones who, somehow, believe that self esteem is something given and not earned...they walk about with a hyper inflated ego...with no substance...paper tigers...the worst types. Self esteem workshops...the method of self delusion. People in search of self esteem have the correct version in the beginning (they don't have any)...they are just searching for it in the wrong place...they need to search in their chosen discipline...to achieve a level of true competency. It is through achievement...through a realization of fundamental concepts...being able to apply those concepts in life...and under stressful conditions...that is where the true expression, and growth, of ego...of self esteem takes place.

To stagnate is to want to have the FEELING of safety...without the real security necessary to ensure it. They live a self deluded life...and frequently wish for all others around them to not achieve so as to not expose them to discovery. When someone achieves..the poser gets red faced with envy...and with every stumble of the ones who attempt to truly achieve...the poser's eyes glitter with glee. They are the ones you wish to not be around...and to not be like.

Don't strive for a large ego....become truly good in you passion, profession or discipline...the large ego is a natural result.

Beware...by being able to regurgitate second hand knowledge is in no way true knowledge....you must be able to apply it in life for it to be first hand knowledge.
 
Shiroi Tora said:
(a more learned person has nothing to learn from others of lesser views).
Click to expand...
Always approach another's point of view as if it has equal value to your own. Make an effort to understand why they think that way. An ability to see any issue on which you hold an opinion from the opposing point of view, to be able to argue that opposing point of view effectively, is a mark of intelligence and thoughtfulness.

I recognize that I have a large ego. Some say it is too large, some say it is not large enough. The appropriateness of the size of my ego is not for me to judge - every person I have met with an oversized ego has sworn that their ego is appropriate for how great they are. That is the whole point.
 
142857 said:
Always approach another's point of view as if it has equal value to your own. Make an effort to understand why they think that way. An ability to see any issue on which you hold an opinion from the opposing point of view, to be able to argue that opposing point of view effectively, is a mark of intelligence and thoughtfulness.

I recognize that I have a large ego. Some say it is too large, some say it is not large enough. The appropriateness of the size of my ego is not for me to judge - every person I have met with an oversized ego has sworn that their ego is appropriate for how great they are. That is the whole point.
Click to expand...


Please don't get me wrong from my reply...it was a general statement on ego's as a whole. I think you are very rational...and have very good critical reasoning skills.

It is not in opinions...but rational arguments that count. A rational argument is self supporting...no need to try and put yourself into their shoes. With rational arguments...you are both striving for the truth...it is not about being oppositional...merely working your way up the same mountain together...trying to find the most efficient path....both going to the top.

I was using this: (a more learned person has nothing to learn from others of lesser views) to illustrate how a large ego person would think....not necessarily what would be correct.
 
BruceCM said:
What to do if, apparently, I can't tell which are rational arguments, then?
Click to expand...


An opinion is in the realm of the subjective...Where there is no truth...no right or wrong...as in the person's favorite color.

A rational argument is in the realm of the objective...where there is right and wrong...and truth. The argument is basically a correct premise...supporting evidence and argued logically...and a correct conclusion derived directly from said argument.
 
Um, yes. Well, plenty of claims about those. That's the problem! Too many claims I can't tell are true and, amazingly, people insisting there isn't any truth, for most things.
 
Shiroi Tora said:
Please don't get me wrong from my reply...it was a general statement on ego's as a whole. I think you are very rational...and have very good critical reasoning skills.

It is not in opinions...but rational arguments that count. A rational argument is self supporting...no need to try and put yourself into their shoes. With rational arguments...you are both striving for the truth...it is not about being oppositional...merely working your way up the same mountain together...trying to find the most efficient path....both going to the top.

I was using this: (a more learned person has nothing to learn from others of lesser views) to illustrate how a large ego person would think....not necessarily what would be correct.
Click to expand...

Got it now. You know how literal us autistics are. :)

Rational arguments and opinions do cross over a lot. For example, would it have been better not to bail out any financial institutions during the GFC, or was the bailout a necessity? You can argue it out rationally, but in the end it comes down to opinions because nobody knows what would have happened if the bailout never happened. My opinion is that we would have found ourselves in a severe global depression rather than simply a "Great Recession". But I cannot definitively prove that, just as nobody can prove the opposite. So I make a point of trying to see the argument from both points of view. That is just my way.

I find that most people are very attached to their opinions and are not interested in rational arguments to the contrary. To be persuasive you often have to look at things from their point of view, see the strengths and weaknesses of their viewpoint that they are often blind to.
 
I don't get into arguments about the economy and do try to see the other side of any argument, as best I can. Any actual advice how to do any of it any better?
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

New Threads

Top Bottom