Effects of meltdowns

[inabox]

I don't like melting down and was raised to think that expressing such strong negative emotions was bad, and that doing so now would make me a failure so i don't even handle a meltdown well either.

I was taught this as well and I think for me, this is what makes the meltdowns worse. I subconsciouly put off letting out anything negative (I think because I'm trying to not sound miserable or stroppy so as to not upset/ annoy people around me), and in the process of doing this I end up making the ultimate meltdown worse because there's more there to let out by that point.

 

[Grumpy Cat]

That's an interesting point - about women and men and about oxy. Is this man a reputable source of information, though? Have you been able to verify that what he says is correct with other articles/studies/etc? I think that in regards to more aspies being men, i think it could be a combination of biologically based things (like the oxy hormone) and how they present. They're more obvious in how they present as aspies, and at least to me, the stereotypes for little girls behavior is more accepting of a girl showing aspie behaviors like being shy. My mom says that looking back, its so obvious even when i was little but she didn't think anything of it at the time.

This is the article address -

www.alternative-therapies.com/openaccess/ATHM_19-4_Flechas.pdf

Everyone will have to read it themselves and decide.

 

[Kari Suttle]

I was taught this as well and I think for me, this is what makes the meltdowns worse. I subconsciouly put off letting out anything negative (I think because I'm trying to not sound miserable or stroppy so as to not upset/ annoy people around me), and in the process of doing this I end up making the ultimate meltdown worse because there's more there to let out by that point.

Definetally. My mom's a bit of a hypocrite in this respect, honestly, in that she always yelled and got visibly mad but I was never permitted to show any negative emotion. I never understood that either, how she was allowed to but i wasn't. Ultimately this led to a lot of black and white extreme thinking on my part. Emotionally i'm very distant from them, have been since i was starting middle school. I'm halfway through college now if that gives you an idea of how long its been. This all made made meltdowns worse; i never had them until the past year or two or three cause around my family i repressed them, but it made the eventually meltdowns a lot worse because i was not only taught that negative feelings were bad, but that it was even worse to express them. I simply never learned what to do with negative emotions - all i knew was to either suppress them and lock them away, or to feel them but ignore them.

 

[Spiller]

I'm guessing it would have been mentioned in another thread but just quickly, after a meltdown do you feel a sense of calm and things somehow have miraculously improved when they haven't actually changed at all ?

I'm usually too consumed by the guilt I feel over the ruckus I've caused.. if only everyone just left me alone at these times..

How do the people you know react when you have one? And do you get meltdowns very often?

This is the bit for me, what people think!.. to me it's utter loss of control, a short circuit; I can break things, hurt myself.. But it's what others see; a childish fit, I think.. They see me as 'mentally ill', but not as Aspergers!
I know what it looks like as my sister is a little similar, but I just give her space until her 'fit' passes.

 

[Progster]

I don't think that I've ever totally lost my memory as the result of a meltdown, I remember what happened to trigger it, but the exact sequence of events may be a bit hazy. I sometimes experience a feeling of derealization. I usually feel bad about it afterwards, and angry with myself or guilty.

 

[watersprite]

I've had a bad day. I had a meltdown with 2 panic attacks , and I have not had a panic attack in years. But I "melted" at about 3 or 4pm and I've realised that now I can't really remember what I have done today including what happened before 3. I have some vague memories, but the memories are hazy and as if I'm remembering a drunken day about 6 months ago.
Does anyone else experience anything like this?

This is what happened today for me, early this morning. Troubles of various sorts piled up and I had thought I was weathering it. I wasn't. Don't remember much of the previous night, just like you mention, as though I'd had a bunch of alcohol, though I had none.
Luckily, did manage it slightly better than usual, nothing broken or destroyed.
Being able to come here on AC where others understand is good.

 

[artfull dodger]

Since my dx and reading about others here on AC and other websites. I have gotten much better at minimizing my meltdowns. Sometimes I can catch myself building up to one and stop it. Other times I am caught off guard but am able to keep it from becoming violent. My meltdowns in the past were very violent, stuff getting broke, myself getting hurt or others getting hurt. As a teen/child I was more prone to shutdowns, usualy mild and more like daydreaming and shutting off the outside world. But once adulthood and its associated stresses were added, the meltdowns grew and when I had a shutdown, espicialy in my late teens and thru my 20's and it was a deep shutdown that lasted for several hours, the thoughts of suicide would come. Thankfully those are far and few between now. Instead of breaking stuff or throwing objects at hand during my meltdowns, I normaly have a few "choice" words and stomp off somewhere private and quiet to recompose myself for however long it takes before I am ready to face the world again.

 

[TSS]

I haven't had to many breakdowns for about 6 months. Mine was brought on by changes at work. When I melt down I can almost tell it is coming. I get real down then it happens. Mine go along the line of uncontrollable crying or a crying spell at the least desirable time. Example going out with my family or even sometimes at work. My family is very understanding, that is where I had my last melt down. At work I just have to ask for time off. After my last break down I had to take a couple of days off. Over the weekend I had to take something back to the mall. I usually try to go at the least busiest times. I returned the item which was close to where I parked. My brother explained to me during the week what casual dress means. I seriously didn't know. He told me my causal dress was more like dressing for relaxing at home. The reason I asked because I was asked to go the dinner with his family and I was told to dress causally. I am glad I asked. His idea of causal and mine where different. He said something about wearing a dress. I went and bought a dress for the occasion. In order to get said dress it required me to walk down the mall. The store I went to was not busy, but when I have to try on close at a store, which I really try to avoid, I start to sweat and get anxious. I found what I wanted, bought it, and then high tailed it out of the place. The walk down the mall was so anxiety producing. I walked fast wanting to mow down the people in front of me. Couldn't they tell I was in a hurry? As I walked the shallower my breath got. I knew I could make it out but I wasn't that convinced of it at the time. I got to my car and did some slow breathing to calm down before I went home. It was scary! I think I took my brother to literal about the dress. Which I seem to do a lot.