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Featured Early reading and social skills

Discussion in 'General Autism Discussion' started by Gift2humanity, Dec 26, 2020.

  1. Gift2humanity

    Gift2humanity Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Are there any diagnosed auties or aspies who read fiction as children and could socialise and tell people's intentions?
    I ask because I feel really guilty.
    I learnt to read at two.
    As I was a an early talker and bright, out of nappies at 1, and a late walker, my Dad used to focus on my shortcomings.
    It wasnt his fault, he had a sadistic streak and narcissism from early abuse.
    I gave up reading, which made my mum really sad.
    In my early life at two when reading, I remember loving nature, and my mum being empathic and loving.
    Not once did she bully or pressure me into reading, she was proud and though I was gifted.
    Part of narcissism is that you cannot be outshone as it is too painful for you, which is why my Dad belittled me and talked about my shortcomings.
    This is why I gave up reading.
    Had I of kept reading, I knwo I would still be autistic as I Was born with it, but I would have had the intuition to know what he was up to, if reading gives autistic kids cognitive empathy.
    I would also have been able to warn my mum how dangerous my dad was and that if we didnt move away from him, we would be living in fear for the rest of our lives.
    Instead, as I gave up reading, my mum slowly acquired some of his traits and some negative ones of her own, so became violent and abusive herself and instead of being the gifted successful adult I was supposed to be, I rely on state handouts and am a drug addict (the doctor prescribes the drugs, as I am now supervised)
     
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  2. OkRad

    OkRad μῆνιν ἄειδε θεὰ Πηληϊάδεω Ἀχιλῆος οὐλομένην V.I.P Member

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    You can never lose your autism. It was misused but many here have had terrible abuse. You can still reach into your being a pull out what you can. Don't give up. Do you have a special interest? Do you have a special stim? No one can take the gift from you, especially if you see it as a gift.
     
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  3. Fino

    Fino Alex V.I.P Member

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    I read fiction obsessively as a child but I couldn't socialize or tell people's intentions. I've gotten much, much better at those things now, but with no apparent connection to the reading. And I've stopped reading fiction in the past few years!
     
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  4. Gift2humanity

    Gift2humanity Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    I don't want to lose my autism.
    What makes me heartbroken is that I could have been a twice exceptional kid, an autistic kid with a reading gift and this could have been an asset to the world instead of the liability I feel.
    Art was also a gift, I bought myself art stuff, but depression from practical problems, with resulting anorexia has blocked it.

    Thank you for your feedback. This is useful, however I am sorry you struggle with peoples intentions.
    What authors did you like as a kid?
     
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  5. Streetwise

    Streetwise very cautious contributor V.I.P Member

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    Maybe if your parent was a child psychologist?! but there don't seem to be specialists in autism ,the presumption is you had psychological trauma!, so you need to be forced to be N.T, apparently ABA doesnt give you that, you just appear to be closer to N.T.
    I liked Hugh Lofting,Roald Dahl not now , Alf prøysen,Lewis carroll,tomi ungerer,later A.Conan Doyle,Jane Austen not as much.
     
  6. Streetwise

    Streetwise very cautious contributor V.I.P Member

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    Even if you weren't abused at home you would have been abused at school,we just don't have socialization I still had problems at 22 it's worse now that I live alone ,we are not considered benign so there begins the bullying or conversely you are very benign like I presume people with downs syndrome are bullied and presumed retarded.
     
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  7. Gift2humanity

    Gift2humanity Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Thanks for your post. I accept my autism, someone online said they could socialise normally (not NT but ok as an aspie, honestly and proudly eccentric - not their words) because they read tons of fiction.
    My main question is for those who read a lot of fiction or comics throughout childhood, did it help you socially, and make it harder for you to be manipulated.
     
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  8. Fino

    Fino Alex V.I.P Member

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    If we're talking before age 10, it was stuff like the Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter, Chronicles of Narnia, etc. but if we're talking over the age of 10 then I started getting into things like Terry Goodkind, Dickens, and basically a tour of classic literature. Maybe I should read some fiction again, it's been years! Thanks for the inspiration!

    Do you think you can redeem any of these things you're talking about, to any extent? Such as by reading fiction voraciously now?
     
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  9. Aspychata

    Aspychata Serenity waves, beachy vibes

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    Addiction is tough.
     
  10. Progster

    Progster Gone sideways to the sun V.I.P Member

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    I read a lot as a child and also learned to read early, and had a wide vocabulary for my age. Science fiction, fantasy and adventure. But was never much good at reading or dealing with people.
     
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  11. Streetwise

    Streetwise very cautious contributor V.I.P Member

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    Thanks for not acknowledging all the authors I listed ,not unusual apparently I'm worthless
     
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  12. Gift2humanity

    Gift2humanity Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Sorry to offend you.
    Who says you are worthless, exactly, from the posts you put on here, I for one, dont think you are worthless.
    I only know Roald Dahl I read chocolate factory, and Matilda but only read Matilda at 53.
    I was old when I read chocolate factory also, I dont know about the others.
     
  13. Gift2humanity

    Gift2humanity Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Glad you read and sorry you felt poor at dealing with people.
     
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  14. Gift2humanity

    Gift2humanity Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    I have this problem I miss out important points frequently.
    This is no exception.
    I should have put in my first post that I think if I had not stopped reading at 2yrs old I would not be as easily manipulated as I am, I think reading would have protected me from it, because it would have increased my creativity, and therefore my intuition and I could have seen my abusive Dad for who he was and acted accordingly by telling other adults who would have protected us from his dangerous temper, instead we lived in fear. I became the scapegoat, dumbed down and failed as an adult.
     
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  15. Gracey

    Gracey Well-Known Member

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    As a young child and reading fiction,
    I can't ever remember reading a book and thinking,
    "that protagonist is being manipulated"
    (I wouldn't have known what it was tbh) :)

    I also read books about insects. No manipulation going on there.
    Simple fights to the death and ending of life cycles :)
     
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  16. Streetwise

    Streetwise very cautious contributor V.I.P Member

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    I didn't know if you know the others(authors) but apparently I get the impression! me! on this forum doesnt have much worth, I try to help but it's completely ignored, no acknowledgement ,obviously giving people info doesnt have much worth.
     
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  17. Gift2humanity

    Gift2humanity Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    I am replying to your posts, sometimes I forget to put emojis on everyone's posts.
    I am so sorry that you feel unacknowledged, what can I do to help? ❤️
     
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  18. Gracey

    Gracey Well-Known Member

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    I sometimes wonder if, in general,
    there's a fine line between kindness and manipulation, dependant on outcome and perception of situation.

    By which I mean, our own perception of manipulation.

    quick example,

    Years ago a new neighbour moved in next door to me.
    They started small at first,
    knocking on my door asking to borrow cups of milk etc,
    they worked their way up to asking to borrow money because "their benefits had been stopped and the baby had no nappies/diapers"

    My concern was for the child and at the time I believed what they told me.

    Was I being kind? Or manipulated?

    I thought I was being kind and helping them out (my perception of situation)

    I never did get anything they borrowed back.
    It also took me a solid six months to start seeing patterns in, and questioning theirs and my behaviour.
    -Thinking, 'Hang on, this isn't right. I'm left short of money and products for my own family because I'm supporting theirs'

    I didn't automatically recognise what was happening. I had to learn.
    And also learn to say "No"
     
    Last edited: Dec 28, 2020
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  19. Gracey

    Gracey Well-Known Member

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    @Gift to Humanity,

    I don't see how you could have known your dads behaviour was 'wrong' unless you had something to compare it with.

    I'm thinking we grow up in our family units supposing how we're raised, is how all are raised, and never question it...
    until we observe other family units and how they go about their day to day.
    Only then do we have a comparison by which we can recognise differences.

    I wouldn't beat yourself up for not knowing the differences between parenting styles back when you were a toddler. How could you?

    You've made some good progress if you can recognise it now, at this age.
    Be kind and forgiving to yourself :)
     
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  20. Gift2humanity

    Gift2humanity Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    You were being kind sorry this happened.
    Did you read from a young age?