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duh, l don't know.....what now?

Aspychata

Aspychata

Serenity waves, beachy vibes
V.I.P Member
So l was extremely stressed in my last apartment. Going through issues, was frightened of not waking up several mornings .So l told this person, l really care about you, just on the off chance, l never saw him again. l finally stopped living in the bad situation and moved out of what seemed to me a deathtrap. But this person may have taken it as pressure that l wanted something serious, when l never said it that way.

What should l do, should l bother explainning or just not explain? l also work 6 days a week and was under a lot of stress. l couldn't tell him what l was going through because he was going through a extremely sad situation re: a very close family paw friend.

This played out for several months as l was going through my debilitating situation of fearing of not waking up due to a extreme issue. So l couldn't talk to him, except to say hey
l really care for you, that was all l could muster up for communication. l was in bouts of nonstop tears at my place. So l am afraid he thinks l was pressuring him, now what???

l feel like in his mind , l was pushing him for something, in my mind- l was afraid of never waking up again, and never getting that chance to say you are special. Yes, l really was scared of not waking up, health and something else.
 
Because he backed away, and before he stated he didn't like pressure of any kind. But l couldn't clearly state what l was going through, the more stressed l became, the more screwed up and skewered my conversations went with him.

I was in meltdown mode for several months at nite, because every nite l had to face the fear l maynot wake up, and the situation became worse every week. It was a really bad situation, l did whatever l could to numb me from my fear and hold onto my jobs.
 
I would explain about the fear of not waking up and how it led to you saying it and that you didn't mean it as pressure for anything.

Not saying it's the best idea or that it's not, but I'm almost positive it's what I would do.
 
becauseIt is true, if you feel close to death, you do tell the people close to you, you care for them. l did that, because l had a very deep fear of not waking up, l woke up several times, gasping for my life, it was very frighting.
 
Thanks, l spoke my peace and mentioned it to him, l feel free, like l can breath now, and l exposed this horrible secret l couldn't tell him.
 
@Fino Thank you for your response, it took a lot for me to speak about it, facing death is a very scary thing. And l saw my life passing away, if l didn't take action. It still is extremely scary to me, l still am crying about it, but l realise l am extremely tough, and l survived the biggest test in my life yet.
 
Aspychata said:
becauseIt is true, if you feel close to death, you do tell the people close to you, you care for them. l did that, because l had a very deep fear of not waking up, l woke up several times, gasping for my life, it was very frighting.
Click to expand...

I tell the people close to me that I care for them regularly, almost weekly, sometimes more. Maybe you could start doing something like that then it'll never be an urgent thing to do it! :)
 
now l am erasing the data banks in my brain, because l was so enamoured with this guy, l don't feel rejection, or anger. My girlfriend is asking me if l want to talk seriously to him, duh, l want to talk to him everyday for the rest of my life. This feels surreal.
 
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