Don't you think it's a bit unfair?

[manca]

Manca what do you mean by training? you or the horse.

I'd like to have someone coach me again. There are always new goals you can achieve in equestrianism and you can never be perfect, just better. That's what I like so much, there is always something to work on. I can ride just fine but I could be better... It's the same thing with horses, they can always do with more training on their side, though there's not much to do with my mare due to her health.

You have a horse and you actually have participated in events? Great!!! That's more than I ever got to do. Seriously. (Apart from running away from home at 21 and working at a racetrack which didn't work out too well seeing I had no experience.) I would have DIED to be in your position.

You may not realize it but you are actually very lucky. There are thousands of girls out there that are horse-crazy and have to be content with just reading about them or watching shows about them. A while back there was a book called "All Those Girls In Love With Horses" by Robert Vavra and at the end he printed a letter from a girl that wrote, "Please don't forget about all those girls in love with horses that can never hope to have one." It's quite moving, because really, we are the ones who are never acknowledged.

Anyway, I understand your frustration, but please don't give up. It sounds like you are going through a bit of depression, something I know about all too well. And everything looks hopeless when you are depressed. I wish I could have something more concrete to offer you but I don't. I didn't realize you were going to university already. I was afraid that you were like some of the young people I know who are just drifting aimlessly through life hoping things will fall in your lap. Is there anyone at school that you can talk to about your feelings like at the university health services?

I know I'm lucky, I'm really happy with my horses, just lonely. And my mare's health issues don't help, I had to slow down with working her, when she first went lame in hind legs I couldn't ride her for almost two years. She won't be able to do what I want. And that's fine, I'm not giving up on her, she's worth that much, but in that time I don't have enough work and goals.
Currently I'm feeling a little better, but there were 4 months I spent closed in my room doing nothing.
I'm not sure about uni health services, but I'm worried about that as well as about seeing a therapist/shrink. My parents advice me against seeing one, because getting actual diagnose could present a problem when I'm looking for a job.
I thought I would be able to find someone that likes horses but can't afford lessons or their own horse, but it turns out that that few interested people weren't serious enough.

Out of couriosity how do you get on with the english langauge here, if you don't mind me asking.

Understanding English doesn't cause me any trouble. Writing and talking a bit more... English language was obligatory in primary and high school for me. But books helped me the most. I spend a lot of time reading and I couldn't wait for books to be translated. I got used to it and I mostly read just in English now, even if I have a translated book to use. I've also been a very active member on few horse forums in last few years, as horses are my favorite topic to talk about. English is much easier than Slovene Occasionally I have a hard time on forums if people don't write correctly.

Just zone out when listening to other people.

I do that in school. It's incredible how plain people in my class are. Schoolmates in high school didn't annoy me that much.

 

[Warwick C]

Manca I think you will be in a great position in the near future when you complete your course.
At the moment you have the oportunity to make contacts and friends with horses, through horse forums.
Once you can get a paying job you may be able to take on another horse and training.

Lynette the trainer at my Physio breaks in/training horses and does rider training sessions.

language education here in New Zealand only really focusses on english, maori to a limited degree.
from what I understand of european countries I think the language education is better.

 

[manca]

I hope it will be so If my sister allows my niece to start riding seriously this year I'd be pretty happy with that much social contact. My niece is 7, very horse crazy and I adore her. But my sister had a nasty fall as a child and is now afraid of horses... So we'll see how she feels about her daughter riding.

Beside English I also had to have second foreign language, so I also speak some basic Spanish (took classes for 2 years) and German (3 years). But I don't know enough to read or speak fluently. I've also spent few months learning Turkish this summer (online class). And of course I understand and speak (more or less) Croatian and Serbian, which are quite similar to my language. It's quite important to speak foreign languages here, after all there are only about 2 to 3millions speakers of my language.

 

[paloftoon]

Don't shut the door on friendship completely Manca, but it may be easier to let people come to you somehow and earn your trust. Try to become accomplished in yourself with not just work, but just in what you know in general. Be as self-sufficient as possible. That confidence you build from that will take you a long way.

 

[Licorice]

To most people, there are agreed-upon social rituals for how people communicate and pass information back and forth. Those of us who aren't naturally in tune with it are out of luck...

 

[The Penguin]

I was talking to my mom about my social skills and usual conversations. I find small talk boring and I can't figure out why I'd have to be interested in someone's divorce, dog, job or school, etc. Especially after I give an advice and they don't respond to it. If you don't want my opinion, why keep talking and informing me about it? So, anyway, it doesn't seem I can get out of it, right? It's considered rude.
What I find very interesting is that I'm not allowed to talk about horses, physics, biology or any other interesting things to me. I understand they don't find it interesting, but I don't find small talk interesting as well... Shouldn't there be a compromise? Why am I allowed to say only three sentences about horses but they have all the time they want for small talk? How am I considered to be rude after 5 mins about horses and they're not after half an hour about their job?

Very well said