Does your physical appearance match your inner view of yourself?

[Ken]

Anytime I see a picture of myself or see myself in a mirror it is always a jarring shock, because that image is not how I feel inside. The shock is greatest when seeing myself in a department store mirror as I walk past or my reflection in a window. I always think, “who is that!” As soon as I realize it’s me, I feel revolted.

That has always been the case. Makes me basically hate what I look like. I generally don't obsess over it, but it is still always a shock.

I’m curious if that's just me, and if it's an autistic thing. Anybody else feel that way?

 

[thejuice]

I try to actively avoid mirrors. I wouldn't say I hate it, I look alright, but I don't like to see myself getting old. I look more grown up and serious than I feel.

 

[Azeth]

I personally believe no one imagines themself to be the way they are physically. But most make best out it. Personally. I do feel like my body isn't mine at all. That it never did match the spirit.

 

[Tired]

No. My whole life I am hoping that one day I will wake up as a tall, strong, handsome man. Alas the body I have is the one I have to live with. And while I know that I am a gorgeous woman, because I can see myself in the mirror and I can see how much men and even women are interested in me, this is not the body I wish I had. But I work with what I have now. At least I don't feel disgust towards it anymore, only sad acceptance. And I do take care of how I look, of course, because I have a partner and he deserves the best version of me.

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

I never like looking in mirrors, do to transverse myelitis am self conscious, about my legs so always felt like damaged goods.

 

[Lou Laurinen]

I have a guy personality in a girl’s body. Lol

I also struggle a lot with self-esteem issues and body image issues, and I don’t think I look as good as other people seem to think I do. Sometimes I wonder if my husband has good eyesight…

 

[Neonatal RRT]

My inner and outer self do not match... and no... I do not like photos or video of myself. Furthermore, if we listen to audio recordings of ourselves, it won't match either... what we "hear" is influenced by bone conduction, whereas what other people hear is something different.

I know it is all a bit of an illusion that our mind is playing on us... but on the other hand, I also believe that our consciousness is something separate from the "meat suit" we are temporarily occupying. We are the energy that makes it all do what it does, but we are not our body, per se.

 

[WhitewaterWoman]

I used to be ok with how I looked, but my face has aged a lot in the past several years, and it is horribly ugly. Not just because it’s old.

 

[Trophonius]

In my mind's eye I look like 90s Andrew Eldritch. In reality I look like walmart version of Danny DeVito.

Like thejuice, I don't like seeing my face. I actively avoid mirrors. I used to cover them with a blanket at some point, when I was staying with a relative, but had to stop because once I forgot to remove the blanket and it was hard to explain... he thought I was afraid of ghosts.

 

[Outdated]

When I was young my looks were an asset that I managed quite carefully most of the time. As I aged my looks diminished but so too did my ability to care about that. No, I never felt uncomfortable seeing myself in the mirror and I still don't.

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

People kept telling me I looked like John Denver, asked where is my guitar. Noticed later they were right could be his twin brother. No wonder I attracted women like flies, never took advantage of it. Not really into country or folk music.
so never noticed.

 

[Azeth]

If I could be 100% honest. I avoid looking in mirrors as much as possible. The only time I have to be face to face in the mirror with myself is when I brush my teeth. Just looking at myself. I find a profound disappointment. I am not unattractive by any stretch of the imagination. But my ideas of who I think of myself as, and what I see in the mirror, are two completely different things.

Personally. I feel like a mix between a masculine and feminine enitity. Being not one or the other entirely. But my body is hard bound to being male. I feel more like a undefinable being. But, I'm stuck in a definable form.

My pfp is more representative of something I see about myself. Notably feminine but still having some semblance of masculine traits.

 

[Shevek]

My inner view is of a landscape of ideas. My outer appearance has good and bad aspects. A photographer could easily emphasize either one. If you struggle, you might want to invest in a professional portrait.

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

I could not believe I married my wife Marsha Brady lookalike, I guess you could say Masha hooked up with John,
Never thought of that before. Probably what others see. No wonder my oldest son looks like a Movie star. Maybe could of had a second career as celebrity lookalikes.

 

[UFO]

I have noticed that I am pretty much minority in this issue. Both among this forum, and among the general population. Appearance seem to matter people way too much

Now that I think of it, when I was at my teens, I did worry what other people think of me. That included appearance worries. However, I never wanted to impress anyone, just to maintain some standard level to fit in and to not be considered too weird or misfit. I don't remember observing myself from a mirror asking philosophical questions like "Is that me?" or "Does that represent me?" or thinking thoughts like "I am not that, not really" or "I wish I would be (insert your favorite physical quality)" (well, I have wanted to be more muscular, but that wasn't appearance thing, more like practical as I wanted to be able to do more physical labor).

Now as I get old, I still have "bad hair days" when I look at mirror, but I think it as an amusing event, not something that should trouble me or anyone else. I see some gray hair and droopy eyelids, but I am more worried about aching, or soon in decade or two aching, bones as they directly affect my life. I don't remember ever having a feeling, that I am not satisfied with myself and that I would want to be someone / something else. Even thought I do daydream, even to the point of power fantasies, I don't feel that I do it to dream of being something else, it is just "what if"-thinking, not "I wish"-thinking, or just fuming to get rid of temporary thoughts. I have few personality traits that I would like to get rid of, or change, but I don't think I have ever disapproved myself as a whole. I don't approve myself either, I just am. (Disclaimer: At least, this a way how I would like to see my attitude - in the reality I could be a very insecure person, but I just don't realize it or accept it)

Probably this has something to do with the fact, that a) I have (almost) never felt any real need to connect with people, so I have taken only little pressure from the said people and their expectations, b) my mind has a habit to strictly categorize things as separate issues, meaning that if I see a fault in myself, that is just a one fault and I, meaning a whole person, is a different, only weakly related abstract thing, c) I don't see people's disapproval from their face, posture, or tone, d) I am a white privileged male with no physical defects .

Furthermore, if we listen to audio recordings of ourselves, it won't match either... what we "hear" is influenced by bone conduction, whereas what other people hear is something different.

Ok. From that perspective, I totally agree that what others hear from me is not same that I hear from me. Same thing with conveying my internal life thru limited communication abilities.

 

[SusanLR]

My inner personality has always felt like a guy or just neutral.
There were many things I disliked about being in a female body.
Now that I am old, it doesn't matter that much except for a couple of frontal lumps I wish weren't there.
Just an aggravation.

Physical looks for a female were good, and I still take care of my body.
But, at 69 and failing health, having a body like Dwayne Johnson wouldn't help much now.