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Does she like me?

WhitewaterWoman said:
He asked for opinions about her comment and what it might or might not mean.
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The title asks "Does she like me?". The data is clear, but the OP needed to ask. (or at least we have to assume that).
The fact that the question had to be asked is relevant information in itself.

BTW it's NT-normal to analyze the reason a person asked a specific question. It happens a lot in Movies, and TV.
I even know a Psychologist joke that uses it /lol.

WhitewaterWoman said:
Set up a meeting? Are you kidding? That is the most autistic thing to do. Ask her out for coffee or a beer or a walk. But don't set up a meeting.
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"Meeting" covers all possibilities, and distinguishes adequately between RL interaction and electronic.
In the post you quoted it only took me 5 words.

WhitewaterWoman said:
Relationships are not finances.
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Marriages are contracts that cover both. I wasn't more specific because the details are not on point, but the choice of "long-tail risk" wasn't random.
BTW - it seems the terminology has changed: it's "tail risk" or "fat tail risk" now. (Or it always way - last time I paid attention to this stuff was 2009)
 
Hypnalis said:
The title asks "Does she like me?". The data is clear, but the OP needed to ask. (or at least we have to assume that).
The fact that the question had to be asked is relevant information in itself.
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The data was not clear to the OP. That's why he asked.
Hypnalis said:
BTW it's NT-normal to analyze the reason a person asked a specific question. It happens a lot in Movies, and TV.
I even know a Psychologist joke that uses it /lol.
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Don't get your info from watching TV. In TV and books, conversation is used to develop the plot. Not what people may actually do or say.
Hypnalis said:
"Meeting" covers all possibilities, and distinguishes adequately between RL interaction and electronic.
In the post you quoted it only took me 5 words.
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I am vaguely remembering your first language is not American English. In American English the use of the word "meeting" is used for formal business meeting, church meeting, etc. If a person asked one to one, can we meet? almost surely the topic is serious if not outright bad for the meetee.
So while Meeting may cover all possibilities in a dictionary, it does not cover friendship and romantic get togethers, which is why the extra words are needed.
Hypnalis said:
Marriages are contracts that cover both. I wasn't more specific because the details are not on point, but the choice of "long-tail risk" wasn't random.
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I would never accuse you of chosing a word at random. But marriages, at least in the US, are first considered romantic bonds and much less emphasis is given to economic bonds, unless you are in the class of people to which that is important. Therefore, apples to oranges.
Hypnalis said:
BTW - it seems the terminology has changed: it's "tail risk" or "fat tail risk" now. (Or it always way - last time I paid attention to this stuff was 2009)
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So while you may be technically correct, you are out in left field in terms of talking romance to a young American male.
 
She is definitely interested in you. Most NTs don’t want to be direct because it sounds immature and childish and it could ruin the attraction for some people. They want to know that you can figure things out.

Her mention of marriage is supposed to be a metaphor. She is significantly older and is open to moving things faster because of it, but she is also aware that you might want to take things slower. So instead of trying to explain all that which could be too much info for a lot of people, this dream metaphor is used instead. If a total stranger used this metaphor, it might be too strong. Since you two know each other, the context fits well for her to show interest.

I think it is appropriate in this context to tell her your interest, your appreciation for directness and how hard it was for you to figure out this metaphor, and it is okay to share with her your diagnosis.
 
@Captain Cooper
I think it's important to recognize that this friend has demonstrated that if you do decide to go forward, there will likely be a fair bit of translating that you have to do over time.

She is offering information that the way she communicates may be through hints and suggestions and that is something that you should be prepared for. You are good friends, so maybe you are already aware of that, but getting on the "same page" with communication seems integral to a romantic relationship.
 
She's done everything but ask you to be in a relationship. Basically waving a big sign saying "ASK ME OUT!"

no way she would share all that if she wasn't interested, don't overthink it
 
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Hypnalis said:
@WhitewaterWoman

Where are you going with this?

It looks like you're trying to draw me into a fight over nothing, which isn't going to happen.
But this can't continue.

Take it to a Convo, or let it go.
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You are typically pretty smart in your posts. This one you got wrong. I corrected you so that the OP would not get the wrong impression from your post. You are the one who kept it up, insisting you were right. We can agree to disagree. BTW, AFAIK one poster is not allowed to tell another poster what to you.
 
WhitewaterWoman said:
You are typically pretty smart in your posts. This one you got wrong. I corrected you so that the OP would not get the wrong impression from your post. You are the one who kept it up, insisting you were right. We can agree to disagree. BTW, AFAIK one poster is not allowed to tell another poster what to you.
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Just keeping this for posterity /lol.

WhitewaterWoman said:
In American English the use of the word "meeting" is used for formal business meeting, church meeting, etc.
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I sincerely apologize for using such ambiguous terminology in this international forum, and promise to review everything I write in future in the light of your concerns.

No wait ... on second thought I'll go with wikipedia instead:
A meeting is when two or more people come together to discuss one or more topics, often in a formal or business setting, but meetings also occur in a variety of other environments.

I gave OP an agenda of sorts, because I believe he needs one. I chose the implied formality, because of the context: IMO he has to ask a few difficult questions, and I don't think this is a routine action for him.

Perhaps your advice will prevail, but it's too early to claim that you're correct and I'm mistaken.
That can't be known until OP has decided what to do and, if it's to pursue a relationship, after it stabilizes.

I hope I can count on you to keep me informed of developments.
 
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I think what is great about this forum is everyone had different ideas, and no one forum member is right or wrong. It's a melting pot of many opinions, and we don't need to take others to task just because their thoughts don't mirror our thoughts , and we can make our posts without trolling others who may be a specialist in their field such as @WhitewaterWoman .
 
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@Aspychata

If that was about "a melting pot of many opinions", why did I find myself discussing the meaning and appropriateness of the word "meeting"? It was interesting, but mystifying.

Tone policing is not a characteristic of an open discussion.

But feel free to pick up the discussion where it ended if you wish. I'm sure there must have been something more to it than I was able to comprehend.
 
Captain Cooper said:
35-year-old autistic male here.

Quite recently a very good friend of mine (57-year-old NT female) told me that she had a dream in which I asked her to marry me and she accepted.

Would you all call this definite, irrefutable proof that she likes me in that way?

I'm just looking for opinions.
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No way of knowing.
We don't know her.
We can only speculate.
I can run through the permutations, if you like. 🤓

Tell us what the situation is after you clarify it with her. :cool:
 
AuroraBorealis said:
Without more context than the one you've provided, this does sound as though she likes you in a romantic way - or at least wouldn't be opposed to being married to you. Unless she told you in the past that she would say no to a proposal from you.

To know this for certain, the only way would be to ask her, though.
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I have said this multiple times in the other thread. :cool:
 
Captain Cooper said:
No, we've never really talked about the possibility of becoming more than friends.

I've always just assumed that she didn't look at me that way.
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"When you assume, you make an ASS out of U and ME." :p

images.webp
 
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