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Does she like me?

Steelbookcollector217 said:
something that i have always hated and i'm sure it will always be this way, men always having to be the ones to make a move on a woman
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I think you may need to check your assumptions because it appears that SHE already made a move on him and now he's questioning what to do about it/whether it's "real" or not.
 
Masked Man said:
I think you may need to check your assumptions because it appears that SHE already made a move on him and now he's questioning what to do about it/whether it's "real" or not.
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She made a (somewhat unusual) signal, but with the usual "plausible deniability".
It doesn't count as a "first move" unless there's actual commitment, and the possibility of rejection.

Most guys who are not in the "top 10%" but are actually approached assume, with good reason, that it's probably not being done in good faith. (can't comment on OPs case in that respect OFC - "most" NEQ "all").


There's no fixing this quickly. Dating apps plus 21st century mores have broken the system for the majority - though in different ways for XX and XY.
 
I'm really not interested in arguing about it. She made a statement and he's too frozen to do anything about it. In the dating game, you have to use actual words and TALK to people. If you can't do that I don't know what to tell you.
 
What OP does is up to him.

But Steelbook's assumptions aren't wrong.

I'd argue he should just "play the hand he's been dealt", but that's easy to say when you've aged out of the dating game.
 
If OP knew what hand he'd been dealt,
he woudn't have made the thread asking
the question, would he?

He and the woman are friends.
Good enough friends that she felt ok telling
him something she dreamed.

@Captain Cooper
Do you and she often tell each other the plots of
what you dream in your sleep?

Or was this a unique occasion?
 
tree said:
If OP knew what hand he'd been dealt,
he woudn't have made the thread asking
the question, would he?

He and the woman are friends.
Good enough friends that she felt ok telling
him something she dreamed.

@Captain Cooper
Do you and she often tell each other the plots of
what you dream in your sleep?

Or was this a unique occasion?
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We have a very close and affectionate friendship, and often discuss intimate matters.

So no, I didn't necessarily find it unusual that she would bring this up. I always just assumed that she only saw me as a friend.
 
Captain Cooper said:
We have a very close and affectionate friendship, and often discuss intimate matters.

So no, I didn't necessarily find it unusual that she would bring this up. I always just assumed that she only saw me as a friend.
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What was her demeanor while she was telling you the dream?

Was she serious, somber?
Was she playful? Amused?

Or what?
 
Captain Cooper said:
Yes, by all means, run through the permutations.

Negative as well as positive, I don't mind.
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This is not comprehensive, and just off the cuff:

-She may want a deeper relationship...
-She may simply want to share...
-She may be teasing you...
-She may be playing you (unlikely, imo)...
-She may want to get a reaction from you...
-She may want to bring the issue to the fore...
-She may want to set you straight... 🤔
 
Captain Cooper said:
We have a very close and affectionate friendship, and often discuss intimate matters.

So no, I didn't necessarily find it unusual that she would bring this up. I always just assumed that she only saw me as a friend.
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Rather than assuming, may I suggest you gently investigate the situation further?
You have indicated you are open to a deeper relationship.

Her desire to maintain the friendship shouldn't damage what you have already, in my opinion.
Just make it a casual conversation.
 
Hypnalis said:
What OP does is up to him.

But Steelbook's assumptions aren't wrong.

I'd argue he should just "play the hand he's been dealt", but that's easy to say when you've aged out of the dating game.
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Agreed... :cool:
 
tree said:
If OP knew what hand he'd been dealt,
he woudn't have made the thread asking
the question, would he?
Click to expand...

The requirement to deal with the real world is always a core assumption with me. But times have changed - you could argue that it's a minority position in the US at the moment /lol.

You might like to debate the nature of the thread's initial post with the earlier responder who (to my surprise TBH) doesn't think there's information in what questions are actually asked.

Some discussions here feel like Three-card monte - Wikipedia :)
 
Captain Cooper said:
Oh yes, I know that age is just a number. I've encountered some pretty negative opinions online about the idea, though. Why are you so in favour of it?

Again, I'm just curious.
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Quite often I find those who object to such a thing are talking about extreme differences in ages, and even more so where one has financial assets the other does not possess.

Me? I maintained a relationship with an NT woman for three years + who was seven years older. The issue of age never came up. Interestingly enough, she also approached me first.
 
Because we're such an aquired taste, i wouldnt let arbitrary rules decide who you should and shouldnt date. Especially someone else's arbitrary qualifiers that dont make any sense to us.
Were already dealing with a highly shrunken pool of potential dates. A rock pool. If you get on, just ask her out.
 
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thejuice said:
Because we're such an acquired taste, i wouldnt let arbitrary rules decide who you should and shouldnt date. Especially someone else's arbitrary qualifiers that dont make any sense to us.
Were already dealing with a highly shrunken pool of potential dates. If you get on, just do it.
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Well stated. It outlines in a simple way how I suspect those very few NT women could be interested in someone like myself. And they were...

So don't knock it if and when it happens! :cool:
 
Judge said:
Quite often I find those who object to such a thing are talking about extreme differences in ages, and even more so where one has financial assets the other does not possess.

Me? I maintained a relationship with an NT woman for three years + who was seven years older. The issue of age never came up. Interestingly enough, she also approached me first.
Click to expand...

She's 22 years older than me.
 
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