does life generally happen to you, or do you generally happen to life? IOW, are you the victim of circumstance? OR have you figured out how to bend life to your will?
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does life happen to you? or do you happen to life?
- Thread starter abby normal
- Start date
I learned not to be a victim when I was still fairly young, not to people and not to the world itself. Sometimes life dishes up some pretty hard knocks but I roll with the punches and keep going.
Sometimes beaten physically but never mentally.
JayLapointe
Well-Known Member
That depends entirely upon the following question, have I had my morning coffee?
Honestly though I don't think it's ever a question of bending life to your will. Better to think of it as a river and learn to float when you're too tired to swim.
I hate the cliche's of it all but the folks in AA with their serenity prayer are onto something. Changes the things you can, don't worry about the things you can't, work to understand and accept the difference between the too.
I call it planning, not reacting. Only way to overcome what I perceived was bad luck. plan around it worked for us,
I don't roll with the punches very well, but I'm very stubborn and will keep at something until it is accomplished or until I am facing overwhelming opposition.
This hasn't necessarily improved my life, but it has shaped who I am.
The Serenity Prayer also means a lot to me in determining what I am going to be up to. Though I tend to bang my head against the wall for a long time before I acknowledge it is something I cannot change.
I grew up with a sort of similar bit advice from my great grandmother, an old Geordie woman who'd had a hard life and was as tough as old boots.
"If you don't like something, change it. And if you can't change it there's no point whingeing to me about it."
I very much doubt she got that from any alcoholism reform group, she had quite a few things to say about "the evils of that bloody temperance league".
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With chronic illness it's a difficult one. You can 'happen to life' but your brain and body will punish you for taking it too far. So you accept that 'life is happening to you' at times and avoid rebelling in frustration when your brain has said "enough".
It's not giving up though, both boom and bust will lead to much worse outcomes than pacing yourself. Chronic illness is like a rebirth, you shed the old skin and learn to live a completely new life.
It's not giving up though, both boom and bust will lead to much worse outcomes than pacing yourself. Chronic illness is like a rebirth, you shed the old skin and learn to live a completely new life.
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It's both. There are things in your life you cannot change or control... and there are other things you can. Focus upon the later.
Life hides when it sees me coming.
yes. That is the problem. Every day is an agonizing challenge of should I try to push on or has my body worn itself out. 30 years on I still struggle with that, knowing I have to move to stay alive but moving too much may set me back days or even weeks.
"what fresh hell is it NOW??" IOW "why do these things always happen to ME?!"
i can't count the number of times I've said these things.
i can't count the number of times I've said these things.
Yes and often your body only tells you the next day if you did push it too far!
I generally avoid "life" wherever I can, being pretty much a recluse and liking it.
I retired at 50 as a result of autistic burnout.
At the time, I didn't know such a thing existed.
It took me another 10 years to realise I should simplify my life as much as possible, and this is precisely what I did.
I sold off all my investment properties to reduce all the hassles of having to deal with tenants, the real estate ppl, and the maintenance, and put my money into my own house and shares.
I guess you could say I tailor-made my own world in my own modest way within very tight parameters.
Yes, I was very much a victim of circumstances beyond my control.
Bending life to my own will?
Bwahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!! 
Most ppl have no idea how little control individuals have over their own lives.
Some ppl are simply very, very, lucky.
"There but for the grace of god go I."
"There but for the grace of God go I" is
a proverb expressing humility and empathy, acknowledging that one's own success or safety is due to luck or divine favor rather than superiority, and that misfortune could easily afflict anyone. It is often used to avoid judging others, implying "I could be in their position".
a proverb expressing humility and empathy, acknowledging that one's own success or safety is due to luck or divine favor rather than superiority, and that misfortune could easily afflict anyone. It is often used to avoid judging others, implying "I could be in their position".
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