Does anyone have any advice for dealing with loneliness as an autistic adult?

[Shevek]

The general advice? Change something. When meals are irregular, I regulate my weight by adjusting how much hunger is worth bothering about. When I had more friends, I was more willing to do things they liked, such as playing cards. I also hung out with some people to just learn more about their skills, both practical and interpersonal. I felt like an anthropologist, but I was accepted because I can be a good listener, and ask about the progress of what they were on about last time.

 

[Dendrite]

Thanks for all the further responses, everyone, and sorry for being so late to respond; I know it's been several weeks since I last replied in this thread I made.

You have all offered things that are certainly food for thought at the very least, as I myself have only found "loneliness" is something I started to experience in 2019. I don't intend to go into detail more than necessary, but this was after I came to a realisation that an old (now) ex-friend of mine, whom I had known and been friends with for over a decade at that point, was behaving in an abusive and controlling manner over me.

From this point I started to realise (after a specific incident) how much I had to mask to an extreme extent around this "friend" and become their yes-person, fearing them if I ever disagreed with them on anything at all. It was also later on in this same year that I began to talk to others on a specific chat application, in a group pertaining to at least a few of my special interests and then realised that there were others like me out there. I made some friends on there but a few months in I became excessively worried about "losing" them and I think that drove people away. I think since then, the more I feel I have gotten close to others, the more I worry they are pretending to like me and actually hate me-an anxiety that is nothing short of autonomous psychological torture.

I want to learn to get better with this and as such I am about to restart therapy sessions with a therapist I have been seeing on-and-off for a few years (whom of which understands me being autistic very well) so I'm hopeful that maybe I will be able to receive some help with this.

I appreciate the responses as said; I want to become more stoic about this if nothing else (and as multiple replies have discussed from their own experiences), especially as I already do quite often at times enjoy being an "outsider" to the NTs. I can certainly say that after everything else I wouldn't trade the joyful euphoria I feel when I research, immerse myself in or even just look at things related to my special interests for anything.

 

[Shevek]

One week, I had both my mother and my girlfriend around full-time. The next week I just sat in the bliss of relief. Long ago, I had a platonic girlfriend who I'd visit for two hours a week, because three would have been too much.

 

[emi00PM]

I'm an autistic adult and I know making friends and having friendships that last can be a very common issue for a lot of us who are autistic people. I wanted to make this thread to ask if anyone has an particular advice for this issue as an adult, and also if anyone else perhaps has experienced this issue with the similar nuances I have.

I'm in my late 20s and I have in the past several years had problems with loneliness catch up with me, over the duration of my life thus far as I have had very few friends that I have known in-person/face-to-face (I can count how many on one hand, in fact); I have some online friends that I speak to that I do cherish highly, but we can't always talk due to factors like us all living in different timezones across the world, commitments including our jobs, etc, which is of course a given with online friendships.

Recently I had a few things happen that have made me realise in terms of face-to-face relationships,I have so few people in my life that I realise that if something happened to them I would have absolutely nobody in my life. Couple this with the fact that most of the people I refer to are the small number of immediate family members that I still choose to have relationships with (I was abused as a child by certain family members, I will not elaborate further) and that I, albeit out of personal preference mostly, live alone in an apartment, and it has caused me a lot of anxiety that I will eventually be completely alone in this world.

I have thought about seeing if I could find any groups in my area for stuff I'm very interested in. Does anyone have any advice for doing or proceeding with that? I have a few particular specific special interests that I am extremely passionate about and will devote much of my free time and after I'm finished with work days to engaging with or researching, but said interests have often been labelled "niche" by NTs (a word I have over the past several years felt disdain for). I feel like I want to be around other autistic or ND people that have similar passions or interests, but I genuinely don't know how to do this.

Anybody got any advice?

I have similar problem that seems to be growing as each year passes by since a lot of people that I have been around since I was a kid have moved away, including family members that were close. I live at home and it is still a problem. Really the more I go out in the busier I keep myself the less of that I feel. For me as someone of the faith, being active and church has contributed to more socializing. I am about to start a longer job and I’m about to be taking more university classes in person, so I think that is going to help with that as well. I don’t have too much to say because I’m dealing with the same thing but I just wanted to bring this up. I hope you find your people where you are as well.