Does anyone else have a problem being romantic?

[Joel I]

I just had a conversation with my fiancée on the matter of being romantic. He was saying that we're not romantic and with valentines day tomorrow is feeling disappointed. I am not exactly sure how to be romantic & not exactly sure what it means.

 

[King_Oni]

Well, here's the first problem; How would you define "romantic"? And the comes the second question; will your fiancee share this definition.

Besides, if you (or your significant other) needs to point out you're not doing anything romantic, you can wonder how much of it is personally motivated and how much is forced, just because others do it as well on a day like Valentine's day.

 

[Joel I]

Well I don't have a definition for romantic or romance. It seems foreign to me. I just know I love him

 

[Vanilla]

Generally speaking, I think when a person says they want more romance, it's usually a call for more love and attention. You should think about how you could give your partner more attention, and what you can do to show your love. This differs from couple to couple, but there are norms you can follow too.

Perhaps think back to something they have always wanted, or talked about, and bring this up. If they've always wanted to try dancing, go dancing, or if they've had their eye on something they want to buy, or even a movie they're keen to see. Just listen to your partner, and try to meet their needs when possible.

 

[Joel I]

Thanks heaps

 

[nowwhat]

Not when I'm feeling it, but lately I've been quite depressive, and I have been withdrawn, trying to limit human interaction to the absolute minimum. I used to be quite romantic, but midlife has pretty much smashed me in the family jewels, and I've been in survival mode for quite a while now.

Think of all the things you love about your partner. Focus on that. Be grateful for him. Combine that with a generous helping of randy. Act accordingly. Show how you feel. And please, take care of your depression. It's unfair to expect romance from you when you're just trying to make it through each day, but relationships absolutely require it to be worth continuing, IMO. Communicate with your partner to keep walls, distance, resentments from accumulating. Intimacy is impossible without trust and communication.

 

[Joel I]

Things are better but still a bit delicate

 

[G-Max]

Romance was basically made up in eleventh-century southern France and has fallen into and out of favor (among Europeans, anyway) every few hundred years since then. It's not something that comes naturally to anyone, neurotypical or otherwise. I really have no idea what it's supposed to be anymore, except that it seems to involve flowers and little heart-shaped candies.