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Do you think Aspies are capable of...

Aspiegirl75

Aspiegirl75

Active Member
Cheating on their significant others? I was wondering this today. I know I would never under any circumstance do that, because I see things in black and white. And this is most definitely black!
What are your thoughts?
 
Yes, everyone is different and some don't see things in completely black and white, some don't have the same moral compass, and some just aren't that loyal or committed. I remember reading a post on this forum by someone who admitted to having done so, it happens.
 
Yes. Everyone is capable of cheating, regardless of whether they're neurodiverse or NT, but it doesn't mean that they will. Ultimately, the chances may present themselves but not everyone will act on them.
 
Too bad!:(
But then how do they deal with the lies and the deception that has to be involved? I feel like that might be a meltdown trigger, don't you think?
I guess I'm still learning how different each and every aspie really is.
 
Aspiegirl75 said:
Too bad!:(
But then how do they deal with the lies and the deception that has to be involved? I feel like that might be a meltdown trigger, don't you think?
I guess I'm still learning how different each and every aspie really is.
Click to expand...

It would only be a meltdown trigger for some. I suppose in the same way as some NT's would probably feel awful at the fact they cheated and the lies etc, and some wouldn't care.
 
Aspiegirl75 said:
Too bad!:(
But then how do they deal with the lies and the deception that has to be involved? I feel like that might be a meltdown trigger, don't you think?
I guess I'm still learning how different each and every aspie really is.
Click to expand...

While some would certainly feel horrible about causing that pain to others and being that kind of person, there are those who will shrug it off or just don't care about the consequenses of their actions, sadly. I'd argue we are even more varied and diverse than NTs.
 
Yup, we're just like people! All over the place. We can get drunk and make stupid decisions too. (Also, surprising capability for stupid decisions while sober)
I think it's a misconception that people with Aspergers can't lie, or have a hard time doing so. I agree with xDominiel that we're just as diverse, if not more so, as neurotypical people.

I used to be a terrible liar as a kid, but I learned to lie in my late teens. I can lie when I can rationalize and justify the behavior. Little white lies, but also huge lies. For the bigger stuff I weigh my conscience versus the amount of distress the truth would cause the other person.
 
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Nuancing my last post, an ongoing affair would be a lot more stressful for me than a one time thing. I think that's a lot more dependent on my moral compass than on me being an Aspie.

I make the distinction between a one time thing and an affair because I believe people make mistakes. I'm not advocating cheating as okay, but I think people can get bored in long-term relationships and the thrill of someone new that's attracted to you can be tempting. Maybe your partner has been distant lately, or your sex life has fizzled to non-existent. I'm also not saying alcohol is an excuse for betrayal, but it can definitely be a catalyst for lustful feelings that are already brewing.

I've cheated as a one time thing before, and I've been cheated on this way as well. It's a ****** thing, whether you're cheating or being cheated on, but so long as it's a one time thing it's not the end of the world to me. It merits some soul searching, but it doesn't irreversibly land you in the category "worst people ever" in my book.

Having an affair means, to me, actively and consciously betraying your partner, not just physically but also emotionally, for an extended period of time. I couldn't deal with this because:

A) I would question my relationship to my partner, wondering why I would continue dating someone when I obviously crave outside attention.
B) I would figuratively die from heartbreak and embarrassment if I found out my partner had an affair, I wouldn't want to inflict the same feelings on him.
C) Relationships are built on trust and I would succumb to overwhelming guilt over violating the trust between me and my partner by actively seeking out someone else.
 
Nope, I'd never stray, not even if I was married to Olympia Valance who has an equally hot sister.
 
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