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Featured Do you struggle to find interests in what others have to say?

Discussion in 'General Autism Discussion' started by SimplyWandering, Jul 31, 2019.

  1. SimplyWandering

    SimplyWandering Well-Known Member

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    I was probably more of a loner, content to play with Yugioh, MTG and Legos often by myself . Chatting just really bothered me and I would become disinterested in conversations unless they revolved around me or things I enjoy... As fino said, I too would get impatient waiting for others to stop talking about themselves... The irony is that these often wanted to talk about themselves Just as much as I wanted to talk about myself!

    In hindsight, sounds like I am a narcissist lols:
     
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  2. Paul Lee

    Paul Lee Well-Known Member

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    Sometimes, yeah. I collect a lot of things, but it's likely going to be seen as alien to anybody that has no interest in what I'm talking about. Maybe I'm just a rare breed. :eek:
     
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  3. Adora

    Adora Well-Known Member

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    I find I can zone out if the conversation gets too boring,I’m not huge on chit chat but if you get me going on my interests then that’s another story.

    I notice that I will zone out a lot during bbqs or parties and I tend to go silent and start to daydream. I always have had people ask me why I am so quiet but if I feel I can’t relate to what people are talking about or contribute anything I go quiet.
     
    Last edited: Aug 2, 2019
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  4. Wolf Prince

    Wolf Prince My future job title.

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    I relate to both of you. Im a loner who likes books and studies the science of nature and humanity. Usually because I am board. To be honest i think humanity needs more of us. To much talk and lawsuits.
     
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  5. onlything

    onlything Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    If I care about caring about their interests (a bit convoluted heh), I will treat what they are saying as a kind of a game. As in: how many facts can I get to know about them in this period of time? how much can I learn about the topic they talk about? how many three-letter words do they say while we talk? etc. etc.

    If I like a person, I like learning little things about them, such as their favourite tea or dogs breed. I suppose that helps.

    Unfortunately, most of the time it's fake it till you make it. Most people are simply boring.
     
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  6. Baeraad

    Baeraad Well-Known Member

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    That's a good method, yeah. I think what I try to do is ask enough questions that I can fully visualise what it is they're talking about. A topic you don't understand tends to be inherently boring, so trying to gain an understanding of it both provides you with things to say and makes it easier to stay interested.
     
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  7. Creep

    Creep Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.

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    I try & steer the conversation to something we both enjoy. Sometimes I like to fact check what is being said or look up pictures to give myself & others a visual. Other times, I interject dumb jokes to entertain myself. Pretending to need to use the bathroom is also one of my tricks.:)
     
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  8. Wolf Prince

    Wolf Prince My future job title.

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    I just act like im in a hurry. Thanks to ADHD i can really act the part.
     
  9. nathanks

    nathanks New Member

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    I really struggle finding things I'm not interested in interesting, and even sometimes if it's something I'm kind of interested in, I lose interest if someone else is interested and tries to talk to me about it, I guess because I'm scared they're better than me or know more than me
     
  10. Clueless in Canada

    Clueless in Canada Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    In a word, yes. For a small number of people I care deeply about I can overcome this by my interest in them replacing interest in what they are talking about. I know that the people who love me listen to me go on about my special interests for the same reason. My idea of good conversation is where one or both people learn something new to them and interesting but that rarely happens. I have to remind myself that many conversations are about emotional bonding and so I fake it as best I can and minimise how often I have to do that.
     
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  11. Bronzelincolns

    Bronzelincolns Well-Known Member

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    it seems people want you to interact with the stuff they say or something like that. I like to get to the point and once I get to the point and feel there's nothing to add, i'm done. awkward silence ensues.

    i tend to see people as long-winded sometimes and some people will just say things to start up small talk and I just don't respond to any of that.
     
    Last edited: Aug 4, 2019
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  12. onlything

    onlything Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Exactly. Although, I have that small problem that when I'm interested in something I don't know much about, I get a thought 'Just don't start yawning now when you want for information'. Obviously, I start yawning. I may be interested but I keep yawning because the more you think about not yawning, the more you keep yawning :confused:
     
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  13. Fridgemagnetman

    Fridgemagnetman I only have one V.I.P Member

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    This is the most interesting thing so far :)
     
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  14. Ylva

    Ylva Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    It's not like others take an interest in what I have to say. Mostly they just demand some scripted answer, but my delivery is rarely to their satisfaction. Non-disabled people can get really pissed off if disabled people have boundaries.
     
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  15. princess gremlin

    princess gremlin New Member

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    It depends on what someone has to say. The thing that I am not interested in and probably never will be is meaningless small talk. Like a cliche talk about the weather or what someone had for dinner last night. Trivial stuff like that. I usually don't even know how to react to small talk. It makes me feel uncomfortable and I find it somewhat boring as well. I secretly feel the need to end conversations like that as soon as I possibly can. I can be interested in other people though, don't get me wrong.
     
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  16. Otenba

    Otenba Maverick

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    I think I tend to have the opposite problem, I suppose. I'm curious of what people have to say, I see potential friends everywhere I suppose, but I often find that it's other people that don't want to hear what I want to say, so when I overhear statements or questions that I know the answer to from people I'm often around that have a history of not liking what I say, I tend to keep my mouth shut because dealing with their bad reactions to me is too much hassle. I am ostracised I find.
     
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  17. Aspychata

    Aspychata But this is my happy face.....

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    If l really like you, you can talk to me about the perforations on your toilet roll paper and l will be completely entertained. But if l find you boring, stupid and a waste of space and you wish to involve me in toilet paper conversation, l will think you are batshit crazy.
     
  18. Bolletje

    Bolletje Potato chip wizard V.I.P Member

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    Depends on the subject and the person talking. Through my training in conversation skills at med school and my work as a receptionist and call center agent I’ve learned to feign interest quite well though. My patients often tell me they feel like I really understand them, even when I’m quietly judging them or laughing to myself (this doesn’t happen often, but some people have very weird beliefs I can’t really agree with)
     
  19. HidinginPlainSight

    HidinginPlainSight Well-Known Member

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    I'm usually interested, but I have a challenging nature that is quite off-putting to most people and ends most conversations. I don't mean anything by it, just if someone says something that doesn't make sense I want to make sense of it, so I ask them what their information is based on. Or if they say something, I know or believe to be false, I will ask them to clarify. If it turns out that I'm wrong then I would change my belief. To me, this is the only way to learn anything from a conversation. This, I've been told, is anti-social behaviour.
     
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  20. SimplyWandering

    SimplyWandering Well-Known Member

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    I was just thinking, it would be lovely to live in a world where we all say “hi” and “hello” to other people, maybe a wave and then go about are day enjoying ourselves instead of the required human interaction or “peopling” that so many do every day. Life would be perfectly sweet .
     
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