Do you have a partner?

[Steelbookcollector217]

speaking, kinda seeing someone at the moment, too early to say

 

[Jonn]

Unfortunately, however, intent is never taken into account.

By emotionalistic, irrational people.

Some people have a mindset that distorts reality.
This is what happened to me on another website.
The person involved was very damaged and imagined "red flags" everywhere. <sigh>
What can you do?

The stoic seeker of Truth has spoken.

 

[Jonn]

Is it my age, what is swiping?

I am guessing it is a dating app thing on a phone.

 

[Jonn]

Simply committing a social blunder is seen as creepy, even if we have no idea we've done anything wrong (and despite being socially stunted on account of our autism, we're expected to magically know the "right" thing to do in any social situation)

There is a simple answer to this:

Spoiler

Become a recluse.

 

[tlc]

I am guessing it is a dating app thing on a phone.

Some websites had it too, and you could do it on a computer. But instead of a swipe, you clicked Yes, No, or sometimes there was a Maybe. But such websites also had the traditional search and match functions.

 

[Uri]

I will probably NEVER have sex or a girlfriend because I'm just too ugly and poor for them to find me even a bit attractive. And by being ugly and too poor I have nothing to offer.

Lets admit it. I'm just genetic trash and an ugly and worthless creature.

I hate my parents for bringing me into this cruel world. People like me shouldn't exist in the first place because all I would get is rejection after rejection and disappointment after disappointment in life.

 

[FeatherBird]

I will probably NEVER have sex or a girlfriend because I'm just too ugly and poor for them to find me even a bit attractive. And by being ugly and too poor I have nothing to offer.

Lets admit it. I'm just genetic trash and an ugly and worthless creature.

I hate my parents for bringing me into this cruel world. People like me shouldn't exist in the first place because all I would get is rejection after rejection and disappointment after disappointment.

I've read enough online communities to know some posters will judge you (and even blame you) for your struggle.

Anyone who judges/blames you, however, obviously has no idea what it's like to be in your shoes (and couldn't handle trading places with you for even a month, let alone a lifetime)

 

[Uri]

I've read enough online communities to know some posters will judge you (and even blame you) for your struggle.

Anyone who judges/blames you, however, obviously has no idea what it's like to be in your shoes (and couldn't handle trading places with you for even a month, let alone a lifetime)

All my life has been one disappointment after disappointment. There is not even one moment of the day when I'm happy but I'm just too scared to kill myself and end everything.

 

[Captain Caveman]

You maybe surprised Uri. I have been told many times by friends of my Mum that they can't believe I have never been married as they say I am a good looker and have a lovely character.

What we may think of ourselves and what others see can be entirely different. There is hope yet!

 

[Captain Caveman]

Question regarding the poll above on this thread. Is having a partner the same as having a girlfriend where there was no sex going on? As in the UK, the term "Partner" means two people living together as if they were married.
So if I answer that, it would be "No".
If I refer it to mean have I ever had a girlfriend, yes I have. I just need to meet the right one!

I can't answer the poll until this is clarified as to what is meant by the term "Partner".

 

[Rodafina]

And by being ugly and too poor I have nothing to offer.

Can you try to imagine some other things about yourself that someone may see as valuable?

Are you not caring?
Kind?
Thoughtful?
What about sense of humor?
Adventurous?
Interesting?

This is a brief list of many things that someone may like about you. Your self esteem is really low - maybe you can start by building yourself up a bit and see your own worth.

 

[FeatherBird]

You maybe surprised Uri. I have been told many times by friends of my Mum that they can't believe I have never been married as they say I am a good looker and have a lovely character.

What we may think of ourselves and what others see can be entirely different. There is hope yet!

I've been told similar stuff before (others are flabbergasted by the fact I've been on hardly any dates in the past decade)

Their words are (ultimately) meaningless. If we really were as much of a catch as these people claim we are, we would have gotten scooped up by a long-term partner by now.

 

[FeatherBird]

Can you try to imagine some other things about yourself that someone may see as valuable?

Are you not caring?
Kind?
Thoughtful?
What about sense of humor?
Adventurous?
Interesting?

This is a brief list of many things that someone may like about you. Your self esteem is really low - maybe you can start by building yourself up a bit and see your own worth.

Even though I'm not the OP, I'm going to chime in on the topic.

Back in college, any time I wasn't at school, I pretty much just holed up at home. I was boring in college. I'm way more interesting of a person now (for example, I travel several times per year). Yet I got more dates in one year of college than I have in the past 10 years combined.

 

[Rodafina]

I'm way more interesting of a person now (for example, I travel several times per year).

But, doesn't this enrich your life and make you happier? Or are those feelings entirely tied to whether or not you have a girlfriend?

We can be terribly sad and hurt about certain things but still live in a way where we get some satisfaction out of life and don't feel worthless.

I'm not trying to minimize your pain. I'm trying to be encouraging. There is more value to a man than his cash and how he measures up to "standardized attractiveness." It's important for us each to find our own value even if someone else does not see it.

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

Even though I'm not the OP, I'm going to chime in on the topic.

Back in college, any time I wasn't at school, I pretty much just holed up at home. I was boring in college. I'm way more interesting of a person now (for example, I travel several times per year). Yet I got more dates in one year of college than I have in the past 10 years combined.

I enjoyed college did not look for relationship until I graduated, One thing at a time. 2nd thing get job that pays.
found wife two years later than two years after that started family. I like plans.

 

[Steelbookcollector217]

I will probably NEVER have sex or a girlfriend because I'm just too ugly and poor for them to find me even a bit attractive. And by being ugly and too poor I have nothing to offer.

Lets admit it. I'm just genetic trash and an ugly and worthless creature.

I hate my parents for bringing me into this cruel world. People like me shouldn't exist in the first place because all I would get is rejection after rejection and disappointment after disappointment in life.

yeah its sadly not unusual and not unheard of, for even lots of men outside of the spectrum to be forever alone/chronically single/celibate, but for the autism spectrum, sadly more common