Do you have a "formula" for people?

[bentHnau]

I don't do this. This template thing sounds like a lot of mental work. I approach people by having few expectations and accepting all sorts of behavior, then adapt to the individual as I get to know her better.

 

[Loomis]

I have a few categories I put people into when I first observe their social behavior.

The first category is people who socialize very easily and speak clearly without hesitation. They are very comfortable and enjoy the process. They are smooth and confident and other people listen to them and find them interesting not for what they say but how they say it. Usually they do not say anything very important or informative and they repeat themselves. They are self absorbed and grandiose. The label I put on these people is: potential sociopath. They must be watched carefully to determine if they are a threat. Sometimes they turn out to be the happy-go lucky, likes-everybody type: friendly, harmless and happy, but it takes a lot of interaction to discover if they are genuine and non-sociopath. A psychologist once advised me that I needed to be the most careful with those people who smile all the time and I have found this to be true. These people may be hiding something insidious. The angry person who rants and raves is much less to be feared because the emotional outbursts are up front and visible. What you see is what you get.

The second category is the people pleasers. They are very careful not to offend anyone and go out of there way to be helpful so they will be well liked. They are harmless but typically uninteresting.

The third category are the ones I tend to like the most. These are the idealists. In myers-briggs they would be xNFx. They are often nurses, teachers, counselors or work at non-profits. They have high integrity and care very much about a particular cause (thus the idealism.) They believe in helping people and doing what is right.

Other types:

The perfectionist who expects things to be just-so and gets angry when things do not go their way.

The Cop like type = security guard, marine, parole officer i.e., black and white you must obey the rules type.

neurotic and nervous type = fearful, afraid, quiet and unsure of themselves. (Many of us aspies are here.)

I guess there are a lot of others but these are some of the things I look for and the pigeon holes I use.

 

[faithmclaine]

I can't understand why NT's don't want talk about our obsessions but instead make small talk that's basically information exchange ... It's kind of like establishing an internet connection with another computer or network.

I think the only time they want to talk about anything but small talk is when it when has to do with a career or profession.

I totally agree I said that to my mother today

 

[reptarvsj]

I agree. I did write a formula I was working on. I thought it was going wrong but I think there is in fact a way of NT communication that could be read as a formula. Not a very simple one. If I find it I'll put it up