Do you hate confirmation or your fears or apprecate your fears being confirmed?

[Suzanne]

I was discussing with my husband why is it that, after speaking a few words to my sex, then next time, they snub me? Thankfully, not all females do this, but the few, well....!

My husband responds with: I guess they see you as an airhead! Wow, that hurt. He then said quickly, what I mean: is that your happy personality, is perceived as if you do not have a great deal of weight to your personality!!!! Goodness me! To have that confirmed, has been a bit rough.

Then, we went out yesterday because he wanted to show me something that he considered may interest me. He eventually stops the van and says to get out and follow him and we walk to this big board and my goodness me; interested was an understatement! A village of bygone years; including the dress of that time and all the equipment they used and making wool etc etc and so, I reacted ie smiling and saying: oh wow this is amazing and thank you sooo much; with a huge grin and bouncing up and down ( not too much lol) and once again, he comes out with: this is what I mean by some on first meeting you, thinking you are not very clever and then: but I don't know why, because I find you endearing!!!

Now, I have two options: become sour and miserable or be myself?????

 

[Judge]

Interesting question. I suppose it just depends on how you choose to interpret such things. To me, being found truly endearing to much of anyone is a win-win situation.

 

[Suzanne]

Interesting question. I suppose it just depends on how you choose to interpret such things. To me, being found truly endearing to much of anyone is a win-win situation.

With a great deal of caution and trepidation, I remain an "airhead", because it just is not in my personality, to not smile and laugh when I find pleasure in something!

 

[Judge]

With a great deal of caution and trepidation, I remain an "airhead", because it just is not in my personality, to not smile and laugh when I find pleasure in something!

Seriously. That doesn't make you an airhead....not in my book, anyways. Yeah..be yourself. It's allowed.

From where I stand, it's always good to find pleasure in things especially if pleasure is in short supply to begin with.

Your expressions are in sync with your emotions. Just as in my case showing no emotions doesn't mean I'm in pain either. Yet so many people seem prone to assuming something to the contrary...no matter what your are really thinking! Go figure.

 

[Ylva]

Knowing that my happiness makes another individual uncomfortable in any way takes the joy out of being around that person. That's a win-win, too: the person doesn't have to be uncomfortable and I don't have to be miserable.

Sounds like your husband doesn't find you shallow, though; he's just saying that other people do. Moreover, unless appearing "deep" (but not actually being so deep as to look beneath the surface) is a huge deal in France, I'd say that's not it.

I've never been able to fully explain why other girls/women do exactly that to me, but my best guess is summarized as me being "too familiar", or seeming to be by being happy. I don't generally feel that being happy needs to be reserved for people I know so well they could be my sister, but it would seem that some people think so.

 

[Judge]

This reminds me of a charming conversation between Wyatt Warp and Josephine Marcus in the movie "Tombstone". Charming because clearly Wyatt, a conventional thinker doesn't understand Josephine at all. Yet by the end of the movie, it's pretty clear Wyatt not only understands her, but he adores her. Listen to the dialog.

 

[Datura]

Well, at least your husband likes your personality. I think it is far better to be love by a few than merely liked by many.