• Welcome to Autism Forums, a friendly forum to discuss Aspergers Syndrome, Autism, High Functioning Autism and related conditions.

    Your voice is missing! You will need to register to get access to the following site features:
    • Reply to discussions and create your own threads.
    • Our modern chat room. No add-ons or extensions required, just login and start chatting!
    • Private Member only forums for more serious discussions that you may wish to not have guests or search engines access to.
    • Your very own blog. Write about anything you like on your own individual blog.

    We hope to see you as a part of our community soon! Please also check us out @ https://www.twitter.com/aspiescentral

Do you forgive easily?

superboyian

superboyian

Former Co-Owner
V.I.P Member
I'm one of those people who tend to forgive a person easily which in a way is a bad thing but because my heart seems to tell me not to.

Even if a person was to really annoy to me to the point where I want to snap, I seem to actually forgive and forget what happened and so on.

I don't know if I'm the only person that actually does, do you?
 
I wouldn't forgive people that easily, then again, not many people have come to me seeking forgiveness.
 
It depends what they've done and if I can tell if they've truly changed or not. I've forgiven people who've done pretty unforgivable things to me, but only when I was almost 100% sure they changed.

I tend to hold grudges for a long time . . . forgiveness doesn't come easily from me.
 
Last edited:
I forgive people easily. I think it's because I tend to be a passive person. It sets me up to be used by people.. :/
 
I forgive little things pretty easily (passive person). But if someone does something that totally violates our friendship/ relationship/ whatever... and then don't take responsibility for it... well then they have to deal with the wrath of whale_bone. I forgive if people are genuinely sorry & want forgiveness, and understand the nuance of how much they hurt me.
 
??? said:
I tend to hold grudges for a long time
Click to expand...

I also would hold grudges for a long time too, depending on the circumstances of course. Sometimes these grudges can last years for the more serious things.
 
I forgive way too easily. I am a very passive person, and don't like the drama. Although it has been hard I've actually made some changes and haven't been so willingly passive and helpful to people that really don't deserve my friendship.
 
No, I don't forgive easily. I've been expected to forgive others for what they have done to me, expected to understand and cut them some slack but when it comes time to do the same for me, that is another story.

Forgiveness all too often seems to be a license for folks to keep doing what they are doing. They think by saying I'm sorry that is good enough. They don't bother to take steps to heal the damage.
 
I'd say that I generally don't forgive easily unless someone really makes an effort to show that they're sorry for something they did to me. I can think of things from about 15 to 20 years ago that I still haven't fully forgiven people for.
 
I forgive lots of things, things that most people wouldn't forgive. I'm too passive, as some others have said about themselves in this thread.

BUT I have an invisible line that, once crossed, is almost never forgiven. Sometimes it is cumulative, sometimes it is a one-off event. Regardless, I can just write off someone I considered the best friend in the world if they cross that line. And the thing is, I don't know where the line is until it is crossed, if that makes any sense.
 
Sigh... I finally had to learn to forgive people because life is just too short. Even if those people don't forgive me.

Oh sure it takes me a week or so to forgive them, but I realize at the end I can't hold grudges forever. It will only hurt me and my soul. I have to learn revenge isn't really worth it, even though I do think about it. At the end though, revenge will get me no where. It will only make me feel much worst.

So if you asked me this two years ago or a year ago, I might have said no. Now I would say it will take me a while to heal. In time I will forgive and eventually forget. Even though it will hurt me for a long time. Especially if I went on one of my mental breaks and hurt people in real life and online.

Edit: Admins and mods, feel free to edit this post if need be.
 
Last edited:
superboyian said:
I'm one of those people who tend to forgive a person easily which in a way is a bad thing but because my heart seems to tell me not to.

Even if a person was to really annoy to me to the point where I want to snap, I seem to actually forgive and forget what happened and so on.

I don't know if I'm the only person that actually does, do you?
Click to expand...

I too can easily forgive, many times I'm told I should not...but over all I feel holding on to resentment only bothers me and does little to help a situation. That said, I NEVER forget...and may never trust someone again, but I'm not usually upset by what they have done, I feel I'm just more cautious.
 
I hold grudges and sometimes I let things really get to me when I know they shouldn't... I take things way too personally, at home and at work... At work, if I go see a co-worker to get help with something and they brush me off, I take it really personally and don't want to help them if they need my help. I should probably work on that. :-/
 
Its a bit of a mixed bag on this one for me :(

If some one has really crossed me then i will hold a grudge against them for ever. But on the other side, some one will screw me over and i vent at them and then i later apollogise for shouting at them when they are still in the wrong?

I have no idea :P
 
I would say that I'm pretty forgiving. It's only if somebody badly hurts me or someone I care about that I tend to hold a grudge, although any feelings of hostility I have usually lessen over time.
 
At some point of my life I thought I could never forgive people who scarred me deeply, because the whole meaning of forgiveness didn't make sence to me. It seemed too much like forgiveness eliminates their guilt. As if when I forgive I say: "it's ok. It's bad what you did but it's ok..." not that long time ago I realized that forgiveness is something completely different, something much less emotional. It is simply a breakage of negative connection between you and the person or people. It can be compared with love, which is a positive connection. When I break the negative connection I can say to myself that I'm free its influence, that past is not poisoning my mind any more... That kind of forgiveness doesn't excuse anyone or anything.... I believe that if that negative connection is not broken I only hurt myself, it's almost like I'm being punished for somebody's else mistake, and it shouldn't be that way...
Hopefully whoever reads my post will be able to make sense out of it :-))
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

New Threads

Top Bottom