Do you feel like a part of the autistic community?

[Streetwise]

no I don't feel part of the autism community or part of the forum .

 

[Judge]

Same here, especially what you said about "Always on the outside looking in." Even in the churches I have been in I never truly felt that I was an integral part. As for being part of the autistic community, I really don't know how one should feel since I was not diagnosed until late in life. I didn't grow up dealing with the challenges as an Aspie, but rather as that weird kid, the retard, etc. It may have been different if I'd had that label, "Member of the Autistic Community."

The only thing though, is that in my own case I have to point out that I sense this as more of something of my own doing and feeling more than the feedback or hostility I receive from others. It's just that feeling of alienation I've never been able to shake no matter who or what it involves.

That I'll always have an innate sense of detachment from people in general. I really can't explain it, but I most certainly sense it regularly.

 

[pjcnet]

I feel left out on occasions when hear everyone else comparing notes about their sensory sensitivities, which I hardly suffer from at all. Yet I seem far more impaired than other Aspies when it comes to forming intimate relationships* and no-one can explain why, still less what to do about it (other than the same old same old "just join a club", "relationships come along when you least expect it", "have you tried online dating" etc.)
* I have only had one official intimate relationship in my entire life, between the ages of 37 and 40 (I'm now 42). Am I that unattractive? I've posted pictures of myself elsewhere, so you be the judge.

I also feel left out when I hear other Aspies rattling off lists of the benefits they're entitled to and I wonder how they are so well-informed - were they issued with an instruction manual along with their diagnosis? Conversely, I also feel left out when I hear another kind of Aspie banging on about how proud they are of their condition because it's enabled them to succeed in a professional niche. I ask myself Where's my special talent? Was I misdiagnosed?

And finally, I hate ten-pin bowling - which apparently puts me in a minority among attenders of Aspie social groups.

Not everyone on the autistic spectrum has every trait and some traits are more prominent than others, both my brothers are on the lower functioning end of the autistic spectrum, they have loads of very strong autistic traits and unfortunately they can't do most things that an average person could, for instance they can't count, read/write or even tell the time. My youngest brother however is absolutely amazing at controlling a football with his feet, he can practice for hours on his own, he is also very good at riding a bike, yet all this is totally against the common trait of having poor co-ordination and motor skills. It's a shame he wouldn't play football (AKA. soccer in the USA) with others and even if he did he wouldn't be-able to understand the game or the rules.

A lot of people on the autistic spectrum struggle with relationships and many are single that don't wish to be, although I know that doesn't make it any easier. It doesn't mean that you can't end up in a successful loving relationship however, there's plenty of members here who have for instance. I'm 48 years old and have been single around 14 years after my last disastrous relationship, now with poor health I've long accepted that I'm going to stay that way, but to be honest I was a lot less happy when I was in a relationship. I do know from past experience however that confidence has a big impact in how approachable you become and it seems to impact a lot on success too. Also perhaps you've been going to the wrong places, for instance bars or night clubs are definitely not an easy place for many people, especially those on the autistic spectrum.

I don't really like 10 pin bowling either or in fact any other sport that involves doing more than moving a video game control pad, pressing keys on a keyboard or moving a mouse, okay, well I suppose I could just about reach out to move pieces on a board game at a push (E.g. chess pieces), lol! I love computer games which can be classed as a sport when it's competitive, but even then my least liked games are usually sports simulations.

Regarding benefits, it's not too difficult to look online to find out any entitlements, but I don't know what country you are from to comment any more.

Not everyone on the autistic spectrum has a special talent, or perhaps not everyone has discovered it. You are most likely good at something however? What do you enjoy doing? Was there anything you were particular good at when you were younger perhaps that you might not have pursued?

 

[Aeolienne]

Also perhaps you've been going to the wrong places, for instance bars or night clubs are definitely not an easy place for many people, especially those on the autistic spectrum.

I hardly ever go to bars or night clubs, and I certainly don't expect to have any meaningful interaction there. I find it impossible to raise my voice in a noisy environment without sounding angry, which naturally puts people off. How do other people manage this, I wonder?

Regarding benefits, it's not too difficult to look online to find out any entitlements, but I don't know what country you are from to comment any more.

I'm in the UK.

Not everyone on the autistic spectrum has a special talent, or perhaps not everyone has discovered it. You are most likely good at something however? What do you enjoy doing? Was there anything you were particularly good at when you were younger perhaps that you might not have pursued?

I'm really passionate about environmentally sustainable technologies such as renewable energy, smart cities, living walls, closed-loop systems, plant-derived polymers and Internet of Things. I enjoy listening to and playing early music (I have Grade VIII on recorder) but sadly I don't have nearly as many opportunities to play with other people as I would like to. I also have a totally irrelevant special interest in the other royal families of Europe, as displayed in an earlier thread.

As to what I am/was good at... I was encouraged to believe from a young age that I was good at foreign languages, yet despite having learnt four languages I haven't become fluent in any of them and my one attempt at studying abroad was a complete disaster. I studied maths at university but in the workplace I've been accused more than once of lacking analytical ability (as well as initiative and curiosity), something you would expect every maths graduate to have.

 

[Full Steam]

Nah, he's a freak.

There's always one!


It's always you

 

[Full Steam]

You're one of the most well known members on this site. How are you on the periphery? I think we're all used to being outsiders that being on the inside feels so odd that we fail to embrace and we push ourselves to the periphery because it feels familiar.

I honestly didn't think autism really had a community maybe a few forums and some support groups but nothing really widespread. I don't really seek out other Aspies because everyone is so different when I met other Aspies I no more related to them then I could with a deer. My ex is an Aspie though but we had similar upbringings which is why relate so well and we hang out regularly.

I was actually talking about the autistic community as a whole on the internet.

I do mostly feel a part of this site, but I drift off and come back after weeks and feel less connected.

Often that's because I go on #actuallyautistic feeds on Twitter and Tumblr, and very occasionally FB.

Probably just spreading myself too thin.