Do you feel like a part of the autistic community?

[Full Steam]

I've noticed that I often feel like I'm on the periphery.

Not quite a part of it, wanting to be but somehow not quite.

I suspect it's down to never quite feeling a part of NT groups or communities, and you just get conditioned to feel that way.

If you don't feel a part, is it linked to the age you were diagnosed?

 

[pjcnet]

I feel part of this community now, although apart from being able to relate to autism with knowledge and understanding, online most aspies here come across as just normal sensible people because text only communication doesn't give most traits away. In fact if members here weren't discussing subjects related to autism on a non autistic forum it would be very difficult to tell, especially when communication isn't in real time (I barely use the chatroom, although I do very occasionally try to make an effort). Occasionally there are a few signs like when someone takes something literally in a context not intended that causes confusion, but this is only rare. I don't get involved in meeting any aspies in real life however.

I never did open up much in this forum when I first joined however, then when an immature member on a non autistic site where I worked as a sysop looked up my username and started really taking the p*** that I was a member here, I stopped using this forum for a while which was a mistake. Why should this be embarrassing, we are what we are? Now I've returned and I no longer care what other people think, plus I'm opening up more than ever without even bothering to put any new threads in the members only "general private discussion" section (which prevents search engine bots from indexing it).

PS: Please take a look at the survey because the first option is in large text and can't be selected, so for now I haven't voted. (Edit: You've fixed it, nice one!).

 

[Progster]

I feel more part of this community than I do in the NT world by the very fact that I participate in this forum and can often relate to people's experiences and opinions, but I definitely feel that I'm on the edge, perhaps because I was diagnosed later in adulthood, whereas many members are younger than me and were diagnosed in childhood. I've noticed that most in the ASD world have very different interests and often a different style to me, and that alienates me a bit. I'm a part of the community via my diagnosis and participation, but I'm still diffferent. I don't think that I'm ever fully integrated into any community, though, whoever I'm with, or wherever I am.

 

[Full Steam]

I feel part of this community now, although apart from being able to relate to autism with knowledge and understanding, online most aspies here come across as just normal sensible people because text only communication doesn't give most traits away. In fact if members here weren't discussing subjects related to autism on a non autistic forum it would be very difficult to tell, especially when communication isn't in real time (I barely use the chatroom, although I do very occasionally try to make an effort). Occasionally there are a few signs like when someone takes something literally in a context not intended that causes confusion, but this is only rare. I don't get involved in meeting any aspies in real life however.

I never did open up much in this forum when I first joined however, then when an immature member on a non autistic site where I worked as a sysop looked up my username and started really taking the p*** that I was a member here, I stopped using this forum for a while which was a mistake. Why should this be embarrassing, we are what we are? Now I've returned and I no longer care what other people think, plus I'm opening up more than ever without even bothering to put any new threads in the members only "general private discussion" section (which prevents search engine bots from indexing it).

PS: Please take a look at the survey because the first option is in large text and can't be selected, so for now I haven't voted.

Fixed.

 

[Suzanne]

I did at first, then I did not and even decided that it was over and so did not come here for a few month's, but things occurred and I thought that perhaps I should give it another go and then, another aspie got in touch and said how much she missed me and hoped that I would return and that she also had felt unliked by some.

What I am gathering, is that every day, new ones come here and so, "old" ones are still around and make it either good or not so good, but currently, I feel very much accepted.

I admit, it does get a bit hard to swollow, when every one has a thumb up etc and I have nothing; but that is just me being me. I am hypersensitive; but actually am not vocal about it, because I do realise it is MY issue.

 

[Bolletje]

I feel like I'm part of this specific community. Yet I also feel like I'm not quite "autistic enough" to fully belong.

 

[Fridgemagnetman]

I feel like I'm part of this specific community. Yet I also feel like I'm not quite "autistic enough" to fully belong.

Sort yourself out. You belong.

You're just as much a loser as everyone else on here.

(Heavy sarcasm alert, no offence intended!)

 

[Progster]

I admit, it does get a bit hard to swollow, when every one has a thumb up etc and I have nothing; but that is just me being me. I am hypersensitive; but actually am not vocal about it, because I do realise it is MY issue.

Well, your karma far exceeds your post count, so I think that people must like your posts - the evidence speaks for itself! I've noticed that if I'm one of the first to post, I get more karma than if I post late on at the end, and sometimes I don't get any at all - I wouldn't take it personally, not getting karma for a post certainly doesn't mean that people don't like you or what you say. This is not Facebook

 

[WereBear]

I love the interaction and information here. We share the good and the bad, and I think we are very empathetic and supportive.

So there!

 

[InfinityRose]

I feel like I'm part of this specific community. Yet I also feel like I'm not quite "autistic enough" to fully belong.

This is pretty much how I feel; I'm "too normal" to fit in with other autistic people, but "too autistic" to fully connect with most NT's.

Regarding this specific forum, I wouldn't say I feel like I don't belong necessarily, but consider myself to be mostly on the edges.

 

[OlLiE]

i no longer feel the need to belong, i enjoy being amongst like minded people but that's about it

 

[Full Steam]

I feel like I'm part of this specific community. Yet I also feel like I'm not quite "autistic enough" to fully belong.

Yes, that's it.

Then begins a cycle of comparing & analysing myself to assess level of autism.

Results = spectrum is across all traits, so i have some strong ones and some not so. Some trait are invisible unless X happens at the same time as Y. Then the traits would be quite obvious.

Conclusion = it's not valid to rate ones level of autism vs another's.

Then I'm happy and included until tomorrow morning, and it all starts again!

Seeing and understanding the trap doesn't seem to help me avoid it.

 

[Progster]

I think that the autism community can also divided into subgroups, those who are creative, and those who are less creative - extroverts who talk a lot, and intoverts who don't talk much, those who are aloof, those who are active, those who suppress their traits to fit in, those who don't, etc. But these are mostly personality traits, or simply that people have different backgrounds or different way of managing their traits.

 

[pjcnet]

I admit, it does get a bit hard to swollow, when every one has a thumb up etc and I have nothing; but that is just me being me. I am hypersensitive; but actually am not vocal about it, because I do realise it is MY issue.

At least there is no actual negative karma here, the worst you can get is nothing at all. This community is a perfect size in my opinion for it to remain active without having so many members that you don't know one person to the next, the vast majority of people are friendly and reasonable, and last, but not least it's well moderated and run.

Now Reddit is an example of a place that can be a lot more brutal because people can vote posts and comments both up or down, and some people will vote negatively for stupid reasons, or they may even be a troll and since 1 person can very quickly sign up with multiple accounts (this is allowed) there's a lot of vote fixing (this part is against the rules, but still goes on), sometimes you can even get people in groups working together to both down vote and to write negative opinions against you. Some subreddits (individual sub-forums that are moderated separately, anyone can optionally setup a new subreddit) are moderated to various standards and can be friendlier than others, but because any of the many thousands of members of reddit can roam, vote and comment on any non private subreddit (the vast majority of them), it can be a cruel, sometimes unfair and very unforgiving place where often people aren't afraid to offend. If you for instance slip up and write something that most people disagree with in a particular subreddit, it can be like being stalked and attacked by a pack of hungry wolves that won't back down and sometimes there can be some really hard feelings between people. An open autistic community subreddit for example would need to be extremely well moderated and they'd need to always be on their toes, this is because they'd get all sorts of people visit including trolls, people that make horrid jokes against people with autism and a lot more. All that said there is a lot of very good subreddits and overall Reddit is still an excellent site with a vast resource and community that many people find very addictive, but unlike this awesome community, you do have to be prepared to face everything I've mentioned and more.

PS: There are a few subreddits related to autism, although I've never actually used them.

 

[Fridgemagnetman]

Hyptothetical example :

If I was to entitle a post 'I need your help'

Would I get it?

In terms of sharing,empathy, acceptance in a difficult time. A listening ear.
I think anyone would try. And that can mean a lot if you're isolated or lonely. As we have all been at times.

Not necessarily belonging,but accepted.

But again,for the most part,people's differences are accepted.
You are who you are on here. Without judgment.

 

[LucyPurrs]

Hyptothetical example :

If I was to entitle a post 'I need your help'

Would I get it?

In terms of sharing,empathy, acceptance in a difficult time. A listening ear.
I think anyone would try. And that can mean a lot if you're isolated or lonely. As we have all been at times.

Not necessarily belonging,but accepted.

But again,for the most part,people's differences are accepted.
You are who you are on here. Without judgment.

Yes you would from me. I agree with your post and feel like I belong here due to everyone's acceptance even though I'm not ND.

 

[Beguiling Orbit]

Sometimes I don't, but mostly I do. I do know one thing--I can't quit this place. Many of you folks "get me." I've rarely ever felt that.

 

[Mia]

Do feel like I'm part of this specific community. Yet, I've worked and adapted most of my life in the outside world, whereas some members find that exceedingly tough to do.

Occasionally I feel as if I won a prize for being able to function relatively well with autism. Although more and more the cost of adapting and sublimating my traits has led to not understanding myself all that much.

Pretending for most of your life, somehow makes me think that there will be repercussions as I age. Have become more insular, introverted, and un-involved in the world around me.

 

[WereBear]

because any of the many thousands of members of reddit can roam, vote and comment on any non private subreddit (the vast majority of them), it can be a cruel, sometimes unfair and very unforgiving place where often people aren't afraid to offend

I no longer bother with unmoderated spaces. Why sign up to wade through trolls?

 

[VioletHaze_03]

I personally feel like there's this whole stigma that the fact that i can survive in nt society means i can't be autistic. I was recently thinking about starting an online web series because i don't see a lot of stuff on high functioning girls my age, but it sort of feels like i'm not that important because i'm not that diasabled. Everything i see in the media about high functioning girls seems to portray us as either creepy nerds, or a socially awkward joke. However, when someone in the media is on the opposite end of the spectrum, suddenly everything is different. They, as a person are ignored, and their disability is publicized. No one irl can understand why i cringe when i'm touched, but when i explain what i have, no one seems to care. I feel like i'm not disabled enough to fit in with the "conventional autistics" but too disabled to relate to nts, and not important enough to identify as having a legitimate disability. However, i indentify with this community strongly. :>