Do people constantly misread you?

[AspiePie]

People who are trained to deal with people with Autism accuse me of lying when I am not?

 

[Aspieistj]

I often think so but then I realize I have somehow offended their NT sensibilities. I am told I do not get misread; I miss react. THEY are right and I am WRONG!!!!! Welcome to the world of being an Aspie. Being an NT is considered normal so not reacting like an NT can often get us in trouble. How I wish I had been diagnosed as a child and given lots of role playing to learn how to sound like an NT. I don't mean I want to be untrue to myself. I simply wish I could immediately decide what will be an acceptable NT-like reaction if it isn't something I absolutely can't embrace.

 

[Ste11aeres]

People who are trained to deal with people with Autism accuse me of lying when I am not?

I don't understand why some people are so quick to assume that other people are lying.
I think it's almost impossible to know if someone is lying, unless you know that facts are other than what they are saying, and you also know that they know the truth. For instance, if you witness a car accident, and then you hear one of the participants give a blatantly false account to the police about it, that person is probably lying.
But in most cases, you either don't know the true state of things with certainty, or you don't know for sure whether the other person knows the truth. So you don't know whether they're lying.

I mentioned in another thread that one of the people commenting after an article about Signs that Someone is Lying, said that at the place where he worked, everyone was sure that one of the employees was lying about having cancer so that she could get off work. He said she gave all the signs of lying which were listed in the article, and others.
Then she died from cancer.

 

[Judge]

Well, if it's over eye contact alone I'd say those people are in fact, not experts on autistic traits of behaviors.

I still remember my father nebulously emphasizing how important maintaining eye contact was to sustain perceived honesty. Of course at the time he had no idea I might be on the spectrum, or that it may be a trait I couldn't control. But I did, although it's never comfortable for me and probably never will be.

 

[Southern Discomfort]

I get people misinterpreting what I meant a fair amount of time, but I do it as well on occasion too.

 

[clg114]

I feel like "most people" mistake our lack of social abilities for a lack of intelligence.

 

[AspiePie]

I feel like "most people" mistake our lack of social abilities for a lack of intelligence.

Most people realize I am intelligent.. What they don't realize is that I am independent enough to live on my.. And I just need one person to realize that?

 

[garnetflower13]

Even my husband misreads me! And I have often been misunderstood by people, and have been accused of lying because of poor eye contact or body language that spells the wrong things to NTs.

 

[Axeman52]

Yes, it happens a lot, and normally when I think I have made myself as clear as possible, and it's very frustrating.

 

[Progster]

Yes, it happens quite a bit, people misread me just as I often misread other people.

 

[Cerulean]

My boyfriend and I did a little lie test with me, where he'd ask me questions and I'd either try to lie convincingly or tell the truth. And of course he knows which is true because we'd been together a while. Anyway after a few minutes of this he told me I'm more convincing when I lie than when I tell the truth. I've gotten this other places too- with my parents when I was a teenager, with my current boss- where people will think I'm lying when I'm telling the truth. I think it's because when people ask me about an event I have to look away from them to remember/picture the answer and that looks dishonest.

Also I'm terrible at delivering humor and people think I'm mean when I'm joking. I learned my humor from sitcoms and it turns out what makes people laugh on a show doesn't make people laugh in real life.

 

[Butterfly88]

Yes people misread me, but to be fair my facial expressions don't match my emotions so I understand I am hard to read. Depending who they are, maybe you want to tell them you are on the spectrum.

 

[e79243]

I cannot believe that movie Divergent reminded me of me. It is like you cannot let people know you have this. No one can know. I felt and feel like a Divergent all the time. Have y'all felt like this before? I think if I tell someone I have this I will get judged big time like they think we are very strange, borderlines and very dumb

 

[e79243]

I one time went to a brunch with a bunch of people. They talked so fast and told jokes so fast I could not believe my facial expression. So someone said to me "I am always wondering what you are thinking" I could not tell them "y'all talk so fast I cannot get what y'all are saying" "y'all have one joke after the next and I am trying to get the last joke" "this is exhausting for me" so I decided to never hang with those people again. One there was too fast spoken for me and bothered I could not get his stuff that fast. I had a blank look on face because I was trying to think fast of what he was saying. I could not keep up at all

 

[e79243]

I feel all the time I am walking away from yet another conversation that was misunderstood. I walk away not feeling good. I walk away feeling that person now is trying to figure me out. I walk away thinking is my autism showing again