do not like the idea of "taking a hint"

[Lula1989]

Yes, that is why I felt I should say it, given I am female and my majority of experiences

 

[the_tortoise]

People are socially conditioned to not be direct with people, that it's impolite or confrontational, but really it's a sign of insecurity, lack of confidence or just plain cowardice.

Sometimes it's actually just concern for the other person's feelings....I'm not sure how it works (I prefer directness, myself -- I wish people would just say things as clearly as they can), but I am sure that it's not always a sign or insecurity, lack of confidence or cowardice.

I have this idea that it (sometimes, at least) it maybe has something to do with the diference between being told "this is how it is" versus seeing how it is for yourself....maybe in some cases like "saving face" (for the person who is being given a hint, I mean).....like people are trying to give you the opportunity to see whatever it is for yourself because they assume you will feel better about it if this happens than if they have to tell you explicitly.....? (Maybe because we are all supposed to know each other so well and be so similar that we can basically read each others' minds? So it's supposed to make me feel bad that I didn't read the other person's mind and they had to tell me what it was they wanted/thought/knew/didnt know? )

 

[Progster]

Sometimes it's actually just concern for the other person's feelings....I'm not sure how it works (I prefer directness, myself -- I wish people would just say things as clearly as they can), but I am sure that it's not always a sign or insecurity, lack of confidence or cowardice.

I have this idea that it (sometimes, at least) it maybe has something to do with the diference between being told "this is how it is" versus seeing how it is for yourself....maybe in some cases like "saving face" (for the person who is being given a hint, I mean).....like people are trying to give you the opportunity to see whatever it is for yourself because they assume you will feel better about it if this happens than if they have to tell you explicitly.....? (Maybe because we are all supposed to know each other so well and be so similar that we can basically read each others' minds? So it's supposed to make me feel bad that I didn't read the other person's mind and they had to tell me what it was they wanted/thought/knew/didnt know? )

It's possible - I hadn't thought of that.

 

[Fridgemagnetman]

Sometimes it's actually just concern for the other person's feelings....I'm not sure how it works (I prefer directness, myself -- I wish people would just say things as clearly as they can), but I am sure that it's not always a sign or insecurity, lack of confidence or cowardice.

I have this idea that it (sometimes, at least) it maybe has something to do with the diference between being told "this is how it is" versus seeing how it is for yourself....maybe in some cases like "saving face" (for the person who is being given a hint, I mean).....like people are trying to give you the opportunity to see whatever it is for yourself because they assume you will feel better about it if this happens than if they have to tell you explicitly.....? (Maybe because we are all supposed to know each other so well and be so similar that we can basically read each others' minds? So it's supposed to make me feel bad that I didn't read the other person's mind and they had to tell me what it was they wanted/thought/knew/didnt know? )

Agree.
Asd+tact is a happy solution