Do I have asbergers?

[joy123]

Hi everyone, this is my first post.

When I was researching the mild learning difficulties of my son I came across repeatedly the description of asbergers syndrome and every time I thought - oh my god, this is me as a child. It's bugging me - so can you tell me - does this sound like asbergers to you?

- I could not make eye-contact out of social fear
- strong social phobia from teenage years onwards
- OCD from teenage years onwards - I was obsessed with making lists
- above average intelligence (had the best a-levels of all my 20 cousins)
- I was constantly criticised by my parents for being 'tactless', not being aware of 'tone of the voice', being too direct (and by that insulting), not responding to cues that showed that my mother was upset,
- could not bond with my parents - have memories when I was maybe four, thinking they are like strangers and finding it very strange that my sister would go up to them for a cuddle - I would never do that
- refused to let anyone touch me (my dad called me 'cactus')
- could not make friends and tagged along my older sister
- was seen as 'difficult' by my parents to the extent that my mother could not interact with me at all (I have 3 siblings who got on with her much better)
- feeling there is something wrong with me - others interact by rules that I do not understand and nobody is telling me what I do wrong.

 

[Ste11aeres]

The list of traits could be related to AS. I can't tell you for sure whether it is. But in either case, you're welcome to join us on AC!

 

[Ereth]

Well, only a doctor can tell you for sure, but based on your description of yourself as a child, I'd say it's possible you are on the autism spectrum somewhere. (Please note that this is my unprofessional opinion and should be taken with the requisite grain of salt.)

No matter what, you're still welcome here.

 

[oscar2012]

hi and welcome

 

[joy123]

hi and welcome

thank you, guys, for your response.

First of all, sorry for spelling aspergers wrongly :unsure:

Now here is the thing: I am now 53 years and since I am around 30 (so for almost 25 years) I am the exact opposite of all these traits:

- I am above average confident in social situations - both one-to-one and in public
- I am very good at making friends and have a very happy marriage
- I am above average empathic and can read other peoples' emotions and thoughts to a degree bordering on psychic (confirmed on numerous occasion by friends, family and clients)
- I teach others (neuro-typical) how to be in touch with their emotions, how to skilfully communicate them and have better more intimate relationships (and I do this well as I am inundated with clients)
- I teach clients to overcome difficult emotions and I train practitioners to do the same with their clients

I am confused. The literature says you never grow out of aspergers, you can only manage it. Yet, I seem to have gone from one extreme to the other.

I have gone through an intense period of psychotherapy and self-development work between the age of 20 and 35 and have been meditating daily for one hour from the age of 24 onwards. Is there any literature that says that aspergers can 'cured' by psychotherapy? I have looked around and cannot find anything.

I have only ever looked at my childhood problems from a psychological perspective and can explain why I was the way I was quite well. I had a lot of anger, I did not WANT to be kind and sensitive and I was also deeply mistrustful and anxious. In short: I saw adults as my 'enemies' - not to be trusted and I disliked them. I could only relate to my sister who was a year older than me (not that well, either - we argued a lot) (but maybe all this was the result of getting negative feedback from my parents - it could be both)

I also remember thinking around the age of 30 that I 'should not' ignore body language any longer. I had noticed how I had reasoned with myself that 'if they do not say it directly it does not count and I can ignore it'. But then I realised that non-verbal signal do count and stopped ignoring them.

So, did I never have aspergers in the first place? Or did it get cured? Does anybody else have experiences of actually reversing asperger traits through a psychological approach?

 

[GHA]

Joy,
welcome!!! People with AS do grow out of it, to some extent, with age. However, it depends on individual to individual. Those with positive attitude, tend to adapt to the challenges they face and coupe up very well. So you could be someone with a positive attitude and strong will to survive successfully in this world. By no means, I am saying you had Aspergers... Good luck and keep at it..