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Featured Difficulty Wording Things

Discussion in 'General Autism Discussion' started by AuBurney Tuckerson, Dec 10, 2018.

  1. AuBurney Tuckerson

    AuBurney Tuckerson GigglesTheAutisticHyena

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    So last night, I was doing the dishes, and I talked to my mother about how my autism is a part of my personality. She kind of thinks it is bad, but I told her that it really isn't. I even gave the good qualities like how strong obsessions can be turned into careers and that many autistic people are strongly loyal.

    But then I had a hard time giving examples, so I stopped and told my mother that I was having trouble getting my words out and explained how I have trouble wording things when trying to explain things to her, and it seems like she understood! We also talked about other stuff as well, and we had no conflict what so ever! That is like the first time I still felt good and not stupid after concentrating with her.

    Of course, she says that at my age, I should be talking about interests and stuff with friends as most mothers usually don't talk to their kids like their friends. I understood that as well. She also cooked some delicious salmon that I'm going to eat later.

    Does anyone else have a difficulty wording things or explaining things and just not finding the right words to put out there?
     
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  2. the_tortoise

    the_tortoise Lost Soul V.I.P Member

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    i have a lot of difficulty finding words for things, and difficulty with other aspects of (mostly just verbal) communication as well.
     
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  3. AuBurney Tuckerson

    AuBurney Tuckerson GigglesTheAutisticHyena

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    Same here. That's why my mother and some other people often misunderstand me as well.
     
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  4. Theta.G

    Theta.G Well-Known Member

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    Yes i use to... In most irl cases still do.
    Now i realize it largely depends on the audience.
    You could be discussing physics with an accomplished physicist and not have to dumb anything down. From thought to voice, free flowing.
    If you discuss physics with someone who knows nothing about it you will have to dumb it down a lot. Including reverse engineering your vocabulary. (causing not knowing what to say or how to say. It takes way more effort trying to explain something complex that you understand fully... in a way that someone who is uneducated on this matter could grasp)

    Replace the word physics with any interest or topic.

    There are other things that stiffle ones ability to speak freely like various fears but ya. This is just 1 way.
     
    Last edited: Dec 10, 2018
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  5. NothingToSeeHere

    NothingToSeeHere Asexuowl V.I.P Member

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    I have no trouble finding the right words when I'm writing, but verbally I have endless trouble, my thoughts seems to get lost in translation between my brain and my mouth. Even talking about a subject I know backwards and forwards, like my job, I just can't explain verbally without a great deal of effort and long pauses to pick the correct words, and even then I never do my thoughts justice. It's incredibly frustrating because I know if I was writing instead I could (and do) easily write pages of publishable material with little effort or thought.
     
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  6. LadyBird84

    LadyBird84 Well-Known Member

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    Hell, yes. About once a day I decide to just stop trying/speaking all together but soon after I realize that's not how relationships/work works and I continue to struggle.
     
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  7. Bedlamite

    Bedlamite Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    My sentiments exactly. And it can be frustrating. When I'm trying to convey a message verbally, my mind is "overwhelmed" with words or ways to express my thoughts. Sometimes my mind gets so overwhelmed it will shut down. Writing out my thoughts is so easy but at the same time it can be time consuming.
     
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  8. Progster

    Progster Gone sideways to the sun V.I.P Member

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    It depends on the situation.
    I'm a lot better expressing myself in writing than verbally, IRL. I aslo find facts much easier to explain than emotions - I really struggle with emotions.

    I have scripts for work and many other situations, a database that I have built up over time for the most common situations - I have learnt through experience what works and what doesn't work, but still get thrown completely by new or suddenly occuring situations.
     
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  9. Riley

    Riley Well-Known Member

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    You ain't whistlin' dixie, brother.
     
  10. AuBurney Tuckerson

    AuBurney Tuckerson GigglesTheAutisticHyena

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    Same here.
     
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  11. Loren

    Loren Well-Known Member

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    ...the bane of my existence.

    edit: did you draw your avatar picture? It is lovely!
     
    Last edited: Dec 10, 2018
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  12. AuBurney Tuckerson

    AuBurney Tuckerson GigglesTheAutisticHyena

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    Thanks. I just used pen. The trick with using an unerasable tool is to start the drawing very lightly to where you barely see it. Then if you like it, go over it again with a bit of a darker approach. Don't forget to make the fur shading (which I'm not very good at).
     
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  13. Loren

    Loren Well-Known Member

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    Very nice. Thank you for sharing that!
     
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  14. Ginseng

    Ginseng Christian V.I.P Member

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    Yes, I have difficulty wording things and it can get quite frustrating. It is especially difficult when I am stress or pressured to respond.
     
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  15. invisibility003

    invisibility003 Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    I can really relate to that! Yes, I have lots of difficulty wording things and sometimes have total meltdowns and get so frustrated when I can't think of the right way or word to explain something. So I often have to start my sentence over and over again when I'm talking, and it's quite embarrassing, especially when I'm talking to someone I don't really know.

    Me too! I also find it much easier to write stuff down and express myself that way, rather than speaking it out loud.
     
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  16. Moomin

    Moomin “My servants never die!”

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    I’m okay with writing. I can pause, take my time, edit and polish what I want to say.

    In verbal...it’s a struggle. Particularly if I have a difficult atmosphere or subject to talk about. If I can’t find my words, and mess up, I have to start again. Perhaps this is why I suck at phone calls....? It also doesn’t help that I have a stutter. So, if a subject is particularly problematic and stressful, the stuttering starts.
     
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  17. Progster

    Progster Gone sideways to the sun V.I.P Member

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    I often find it hard to convert pictures into words, and words into pictures. I think that everyone experiences this to some extent, but I experience it more than most.
     
  18. Kyou Nukui

    Kyou Nukui music is amazing

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    I find writing (typing and editing) easier than speaking, too; but that can still be extremely difficult when it involves emotional or personal things.
    I can usually explain technical things well enough; but everything else is difficult. Nothing is as difficult as explaining my feelings or why I act differently to the "norm". This was worse when I didn't know for certain I am autistic and have an official diagnosis. I'm saying that, yet no-one has asked me anything like that since I was diagnosed! I only know that it would be easier to explain in a believable way now.
    I am better off just sticking to the technical subjects haha. :oops:
    This reminds me I really ought to ask for some ideas about an email I need to write. I will have to make a thread sometime.
     
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  19. Adora

    Adora Well-Known Member

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    Yes,yes yes and yes,I have always struggled when finding the exact words to either explain something or even finding the right word to explain what I am feeling,even before I knew that I am on the spectrum I noticed that I struggle with finding the right words and I really started noticing this problem in my teens,I am better at writing than being verbal because I feel like my mouth is not connected to my brain and it sometimes works too fast that I end either not saying things right or I end up sounding like a mumbled mess,another way of describing this would be like the words get stuck in my throat and I can’t get them out, it makes me very frustrated with myself because I just want to be able explain something properly but I can’t and I even once had a school counsellor recommend speech therapy which didn’t help my self esteem.
     
  20. Pats

    Pats Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    My youngest son is the worst to have a discussion/debate/argument with. He's too smart for his own good and it makes him stubborn. I try to argue with him and he's rattling off all this information and I'm struggling to come up with words to explain how he is not seeing the whole picture and can't do it, so eventually I just give up. The stronger I feel about a subject, the harder it is to put it in the right words. When he was a teenager, I remember a couple times when I wanted to sit down and have a discussion with him, I had someone else present because I knew I couldn't do it alone. Oh - he was a hard one to raise. Especially for someone on the spectrum. It just hit me, though - HEY I did it.