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Difficulty finding like-minded friends in my area

onezplpl

onezplpl

New Member
I've found myself unable to find potential friends within the real world outside of digital spaces such as Discord servers.

I don't want to bar myself off by setting unrealistic standards for myself. Despite this, there are far more people online than offline that share more than one common interest with me: digital art, programming, niche games, etc. Even with being able to find like-minded people online, I still feel empty without being to communicate with them on a more personal and physical level.

Additionally, I lack a real place to meet anyone outside of school. Where would anyone go in the modern era, where many people like me and including me are stuck in their rooms in front of a screen?
 
Sorry. May take a little time. Only one of my interests overlap your list (programming), and if you're in school there's a huge age difference (I'm retired). Being under 18 complicates things since you shouldn't give out where you live, etc.
At least there are some online folks. That's better than say, just books.
 
I was interested in physics and until I joined this forum have never meet anyone who ever shared my interest,
 
onezplpl said:
Additionally, I lack a real place to meet anyone outside of school. Where would anyone go in the modern era, where many people like me and including me are stuck in their rooms in front of a screen?
Click to expand...
Could you use the internet to find groups in your area? Some people on this forum have found "meetup groups" for people with autism or other interests like hiking. I have to admit that I don't understand fully what that means or how it works, but I've heard folks on here discuss it. It's not about meeting strangers from the internet, but rather finding organized group outings geared toward commonalities.

Otherwise, what about maybe volunteering somewhere?
 
Statistically, your odds are best in a vast, dense city with excellent transportation. I used to travel long distances for annual conventions. I found several compatible neighbourhoods just by their general ambience - other people with similar funds, tolerance for eccentricity displayed with paint, clothes, or plants, edible food for sale, etc. If you find someone with the same special interest, you both may need practice at talking with a friend. Focus on what you agree on, not the differences of opinion.
 
It's a good question.

But as someone who was young pre-computer age I don't have any suggestions not having had to work it out myself. One aspect of how we socialized might be useful. That was there was often a sort of informal group leader who came up with the ideas and was a focal point for doing things together. I only fulfilled that roll for a while in my early 20's and I would decide something like 'we should go canoeing this weekend' and if we people were receptive I'd take the lead and arrange to rent canoes, pick the spot, etc. If you get into a relationship one or the other will serve the same function, depending on their personality.
 
It's hard to find like-minded people anywhere in this multi-faceted or multi-cultural society. Even if you do find them, it's still going to be difficult to maintain a proper friendship because of the autistic tendencies we have. I had several online "friends" on my MSN Messenger back in the late 2000s with many conversations(chats), some of which I even saved in files, and one of them was a girl I even dated in real life a couple of times. Guess how many of those people I know of today? 0.
 
I kind of get what you mean. But sadly cannot help you. I have only been looking into autism for about 2 years now. And before that there just really weren`t many people that got me. I just adapted to them so we could build some sort of fake bond. Exception is my wife. But as far as friends go. I have had some friends here and there but nothing ever lasted. It 'worked' sort of. But they still didn`t really get me. My wife sort of gets me, but does not really understand me. I work at a school and many years back there was a student who felt the same as me. But we always understood eachother. Problem is the age difference and she is an old student. It would never work as friends. She is not at the school anymore and she does come by to visit every ones in a while. But it could never turn into a friendship because of a lot of factors.
Very, very long story short.
I get how it is hard to find real friends with the same interests. I`m lucky to have my wife and son who share some of my interest. Although to a much lesser degree as I do.
I hope you find likeminded people soon. Sorry I couldn`t help.
 
It's just tough to find friends. For some reason l spoke a person in exercise class, and we are still friends to this very day. This was a one shot in a million. Maybe just talk to people. Say hey, you want to meet up for coffee. That's what we did, later we went to lunch. We occasionally went to exercise class. Can't hurt to try this.
 
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