Did discovering what stims are change your attitude about them?

[UFO]

After discovering that "those little habits you always had" are actually stims, do you still try to conceal them, or do you feel more free to just let go and stim away?

My stims come in three flavors:

Some things I have always had, but find them so awkward or inappropriate that I do still hide them (blurting random words like cursing words, or really random things like "two", "eight", "caterpillar").

Some things I have always had, but stopped hiding them as I can now explain them as a symptom of autistic behavior to myself and to people around me (shaking my feet even when my restless leg syndrome is not acting up).

And things that have appeared after I became conscious about autism and its symptoms (rocking back and forth, which I have done before, but never in such exaggerated manner as I do it now). This I mostly attribute to my "mimicking behavior", ie. I easily pick strange habits of other people and began to do them myself subconsciously. It is like hypochondriac person who reads about some disease and starts showing its symptoms...

they release their emotions through saying things and unfortunately often have cursing problems

Hmm... That might explain my random word blurting as Tourette is ruled out.

I still try not to be too much of a nuisance if I'm in a public setting

I am fine doing stims in public. Among my family I am still more reserved. I have told them about my suspicions about autism, but I kind of want to behave just like I have always behaved - in normal way. With strangers it is easier to act freely, as there is no status quo to keep up.

Sometimes though, I get that little annoying inner voice that calls me a hypocrite, that tells me I am just faking and calling attention to myself. I know this isn't true, but it still bothers me.

I have considered that possibility as well: Am I just trying to identify myself (consciously and/or subconsciously) with something instead of actually being that?

 

[ZebraAutismo]

It made sense why which felt good

 

[WhitewaterWoman]

Foot stimming Is the business
It's an accurate way to sum it up, 'drummed', I'm trying to find more moderate ways of referring to these experiences, I might borrow that one.

Do you hum on a loop?

My brain stores up tunes, songs, popular and classical music and stuff pops out, sometimes clearly prompted by something going on, sometimes not. I sing when I am happy.

When I am very tense and need to concentrate, it is more like la-di-da-di. For example, on the Swannee River sometimes random logs are hiding just under the surface of the water. If I hit one of these logs and the current is pushing me around and the log is pushing the bottom of the canoe up, I will do that random tune, very calmly and quietly and I delicately try to remove my canoe from the log without dumping.

For my feet, it isn't rhythmic. It is just soothing back and forth and sometimes helps calm me down so I can sleep.

 

[Neia]

My brain stores up tunes, songs, popular and classical music and stuff pops out, sometimes clearly prompted by something going on, sometimes not. I sing when I am happy.

When I am very tense and need to concentrate, it is more like la-di-da-di. For example, on the Swannee River sometimes random logs are hiding just under the surface of the water. If I hit one of these logs and the current is pushing me around and the log is pushing the bottom of the canoe up, I will do that random tune, very calmly and quietly and I delicately try to remove my canoe from the log without dumping.

For my feet, it isn't rhythmic. It is just soothing back and forth and sometimes helps calm me down so I can sleep.

I didn't know that humming was a stim as well.
I do that a lot when I'm really stressed.

 

[Outdated]

I sing when things are going my way and I'm happy. I've been singing the same thing ever since I was very small and there's no words, just made up words and sounds. I think it's mostly bits and pieces of tunes from adverts on TV and radio back in the 60s, and there's a bit of Chitty Chitty Bang Bang in there too.

Sometimes I forget that other people can hear me but they usually smile and tell me I have a nice voice.

 

[Neia]

I sing when things are going my way and I'm happy. I've been singing the same thing ever since I was very small and there's no words, just made up words and sounds. I think it's mostly bits and pieces of tunes from adverts on TV and radio back in the 60s, and there's a bit of Chitty Chitty Bang Bang in there too.

Sometimes I forget that other people can hear me but they usually smile and tell me I have a nice voice.

I whistle the Tom Sawyer cartoon theme song a lot and hum something that isn't really a song at all, just a made up tune that comes out when I'm stressed.

 

[Outdated]

I whistle the Tom Sawyer cartoon theme song a lot and hum something that isn't really a song at all, just a made up tune that comes out when I'm stressed.

I used to do it deliberately sometimes too, in the workplace when everyone was too sombre and the mood was bad. I'd start singing, sometimes with what was on the radio or sometimes my own weird mix of tunes. I'm no singer by any stretch of the imagination but I'm good with words and like making a parody of songs that are playing on the radio. I always loved Weird Al Yankovich.

 

[Neia]

I used to do it deliberately sometimes too, in the workplace when everyone was too sombre and the mood was bad. I'd start singing, sometimes with what was on the radio or sometimes my own weird mix of tunes. I'm no singer by any stretch of the imagination but I'm good with words and like making a parody of songs that are playing on the radio. I always loved Weird Al Yankovich.

I can't say banana without wanting to sing this

 

[Outdated]

I can't say banana without wanting to sing this

Me too.

And when I'm cooking soup Swedish Chef (Sesame Street) comes in - splooshdy burble in the potten.

 

[Neia]

Me too.

And when I'm cooking soup Swedish Chef (Sesame Street) comes in - splooshdy burble in the potten.

There are many occasions where either the muppets or a cartoon song come up in my mind, and I have to stop myself from singing it out loud
And once, at work, I saw the guy who was the Boss's assistant with a large bunch of keys and blurted out "Hagrid!"

 

[Outdated]

It's interesting seeing autistic traits in other people, things I would never have noticed before I started learning about Autism. Below is a video clip of John Farnham, a very popular Aussie singer. Watch how he keeps fidgeting with the microphone stand. There's nothing wrong with the stand, it doesn't need adjusting, he does this all the way through every live performance, including throwing it up in the air and catching it again. Almost like an attention deficit type of stimming.

 

[Rachie]

I have discovered a lot more stims since I was diagnosed. I have seen myself rock, flinger flap, click my fingers, pull on my hair tap and blink my eyes excessively. There are more.

I don't mind at all using stims in everyday life. I would not prefer to be in an obvious one like you can get in a meltdown like with rocking in the public.

I am a situation now where I have had a bit of a life change where I am at home mostly and had recent meltdowns which I would have prefer not to have had. I would find myself using stims then often. I then sought about trying to ground myself to avoid that overwhelming/situation and ground myself to avoid a hyper focus which I don't want and can be open to living quite insualar as an autistic. I was doing it and it became like a bit begrudging like why do I need to do this just to be my normal every morning even if I feel ok. I started thinking if i could sense an overwhelming incident it might be a good time to go with the grounding work. Everyone has their own techniques to start the day. I am just hoping to find out what is right for me.

 

[Shamar]

What I mean is:
After discovering that "those little habits you always had" are actually stims, do you still try to conceal them, or do you feel more free to just let go and stim away?

I've noticed that after discovering that my annoying (to others) little habits are in fact a part of me coping with an overstimulating world, I've stopped caring as much.
I still try not to be too much of a nuisance if I'm in a public setting. I won't start pacing if I'm waiting in a line, and will try to keep my rocking on my feet to a minimum, but if I'm at the bus stop or in a waiting room, I just pace away, and rock from foot to foot to my heart's delight. That does help keep me calmer, my anxiety is still there, but it won't take over as much.

Sometimes though, I get that little annoying inner voice that calls me a hypocrite, that tells me I am just faking and calling attention to myself.
I know this isn't true, but it still bothers me.

How was it like for you?
How is it like for you?

Sorry... I ramble a lot.

After I was diagnosed, I learned about stims and what they are. I realized I had been stimming for as long as I can remember. It was fairly unobtrusive, usually involved manipulating my fingers into various patterns. Oftentimes in class I was paying more attention to my fingers than the teacher. I still do it, but I also use mechanical gadgets.

 

[All-Rounder]

"Like wearing clothes that haven't been ironed " I know how that goes, and I love wearing viscose in the summer, it's my favorite, but can be very crumpled and my puffy nipples stick out ppl be like "lady wear a bra!" Or men "titties!" They stick out through most bras though, and bras are uncomfortable and sweaty warm, with my hormone dysbalances and missing pills heat is a drag.

 

[Neia]

It's interesting seeing autistic traits in other people, things I would never have noticed before I started learning about Autism. Below is a video clip of John Farnham, a very popular Aussie singer. Watch how he keeps fidgeting with the microphone stand. There's nothing wrong with the stand, it doesn't need adjusting, he does this all the way through every live performance, including throwing it up in the air and catching it again. Almost like an attention deficit type of stimming.

Yeah... now I keep finding ASD traits in people. Even people out and about.
The other day there was this guy with his kids, and the 4 or 5 year old little boy was acting so much like an ASD child (stimming, ignoring the dad, making odd little sounds). I had to stop myself from asking the dad if he was autistic People do not take kindly to "meddling".

 

[All-Rounder]

There was a mother of a kid today but he seemed old like maybe younger than me by a bit, she told him to sit down on the bench, she left him and he was looking at his water bottle and smiling silently, I put my empty water bottle inside the trash, he did his before mine, he was reluctant to trash his cool empty water bottle maybe reading on it as it was halfway inside the trash, I think he was autistic, he seemed to be low level of social integration, wouldn't pass as much as I do as a NT. It made me smile.

 

[DrBadStrings]

I feel like I'm prefacing every post this way but I was late to the autism realization. Only been living with the knowledge for a couple months after 42 years never knowing why I was the way I am.

In my case my stimming used to be a lot of foot tapping and hand flapping and/or pen twirling. I was always told it was distracting so I spent most of my life working to consciously not "fidget". Since learning I'm autistic, and learning about the nature of stims I've been trying to allow myself to do so again as it does help me think/relax when I start to feel overwhelmed.

But the decades of forcing myself not to have never been fun. Always felt like something shameful that I shouldn't need to do. Others can sit still why can't I. At least now I know there was a reason and it wasn't just being "excitable", "over-energetic", or "easily distracted". Now at business meeting I still somewhat keep it in check but the foot tapping under the desk I just let go.

 

[FayetheAspie]

@All-Rounder I have had a tendency to examine water bottles for as long as I can remember. When they are full, they are like a magnifying glass. The bottom of the brand we buy looks like a sand dollar. Also the labels are something to read. Personally I tend to examine almost anything I am holding for long observing any small details about it and reading anything written on it. Sometimes I also like to balance the water bottles on top of my head.

 

[All-Rounder]

@All-Rounder I have had a tendency to examine water bottles for as long as I can remember. When they are full, they are like a magnifying glass. The bottom of the brand we buy looks like a sand dollar. Also the labels are something to read. Personally I tend to examine almost anything I am holding for long observing any small details about it and reading anything written on it. Sometimes I also like to balance the water bottles on top of my head.

That's nice. I had an autism tag on my necklace and I was pouring water from a bottle into another and maybe that's why his mother left him there, it was like the right place for him. We both had water bottle stuff going on.

 

[BagelDreams]

Before I heard about stimming, I called rocking "dancing", even to other people. I rock for various reasons, notably when I'm happy. I always called it dancing to myself, and when I found out about stimming I realized I was rocking this whole time lol.

I think I used to stim at a significantly greater rate growing up before being told off for them. Ever since I've found out about stimming, I've been decreasing my regulation of the behavior in private and discovering that I actually do a lot of stimming. It's rather fascinating to explore this part of yourself you never realized you had.