Desperate for help and advice - I am sure this is the Love of my life

[Lena_C]

but not everyone is strong enough to handle somethings....sometimes less is better.

Therefore I have a thing for take it all or take it to the grave.

 

[nowwhat]

Realistically, monogamy is where it's at. But experience, can be a good thing for your monogamous relationship.

 

[Maelstrom]

Therefore I have a thing for take it all or take it to the grave.

....yes I know how you feel Lena_C , but it is possible to spook a good match by not showing some discretion up front too. Sigh! it is a hard thing to balance, it is not good to hide ones self, but showing too much too soon without giving them time to adjust is not wise either.

Life and Love are not easy.

 

[On the Inside]

My first relationship (that led to intimacy, not just a few dates) was with a girl who had many partners before me, some of the "one night stand" variety. I was 23, she was 21, and was pretty honest and up front with me about her experiences. It made me really uncomfortable and caused me a lot of questioning and doubts, but we really got on well, and both liked spending time together. I'm not moralistic or religious, but I guess I was one of those "germophobes" worried about STD's, as well as pregnancy, so I was a bit uptight as it was and a little surprised that there actually were people who had casual sex (naive little me!). In spite of this discomfort, I stuck it out and I don't regret it, she taught me a lot and opened me up and she appreciated my willingness to keep working and exploring.

So I can understand how the guy feels, and know how hard it can be to put those doubts and discomforts aside, so I'm willing to cut him some slack. I wouldn't make any excuses for him either; as others have said, if he doesn't learn to accept people's pasts, it's going to be tougher in the future.

 

[robertsomerville]

Your-partner-is-a-loser.-what-happened-in-your-past-shouldnt-concern-him
so-you-had-a-one-night-stand?-not-something-I-would-do-yet-you-did-it-anyway
he-should-either-dump-you-or-stfu-and-deal-with-it.

 

[Maelstrom]

Sigh! saying and doing is two different things....I am having my own struggles on walking that fine line on affairs of the heart.

It is so hard to know just how much to say and how much of your inner self to show.
The line between honesty and tactfulness is very hard to read sometimes.