-
Welcome to Autism Forums, a friendly forum to discuss Aspergers Syndrome, Autism, High Functioning Autism and related conditions.
Your voice is missing! You will need to register to get access to the following site features:- Reply to discussions and create your own threads.
- Our modern chat room. No add-ons or extensions required, just login and start chatting!
- Private Member only forums for more serious discussions that you may wish to not have guests or search engines access to.
- Your very own blog. Write about anything you like on your own individual blog.
We hope to see you as a part of our community soon! Please also check us out @ https://www.twitter.com/aspiescentral
Design a terrible piece of merchandise
- Thread starter Callistemon
- Start date
I meant to post this weeks ago. As I said in the first post, we ran a "design terrible merchandise" thread on an alternative music forum, and as part of that we even designed a band-themed COVID education kit. It's several years into the pandemic now, but some of you may still get a laugh out of it. 
...Brett did all the graphics, and I did the text.
Beating Ignorance Is The Cure COVID-19 Kit
Item 1 of 5
Be a caring member of your community. Don't be a selfish swine taking more than your fair share of basic resources. Other people have needs too.
Remember, your IQ is 150 minus the number of rolls of toilet paper at your house.
Item 2 of 5
Wash your hands, people! Soap and water are just as effective as fancy handwashes and sanitisers if you do it properly.
Don't touch your face unless your hands are properly clean. Especially, don't touch your eyes or lips or pick your nose or stick fingers in your mouth or bite your fingernails, unless you have washed your hands thoroughly beforehand (and not re-contaminated yourself from a dirty tap etc). This is hard to do unless we practice lots and are mindful, because we involuntarily do this loads of times otherwise. This is why some people who aren't coughing or sneezing wear surgical masks anyway - not because ordinary surgical masks protect you properly from aerosolised pathogens (they are better at protecting bystanders from bugs you might sneeze out or cough up), but because it helps people stop absent-mindedly touching their mouths and noses.
Tutorials on effective hand-washing are available on YouTube. 20 seconds minimum is generally recommended (not 17 Seconds, I'm sorry to say) - and wash them as if you've just chopped jalapenos and are planning on putting in some contact lenses next.
Find a little song to sing, time where you get to in 20 seconds, and sing that part every time you wash your hands if necessary. For example, the first four lines of Summertime should be sufficient.
Summertime, and the living is easy
Fish are jumping, and the cotton is high
Oh, your daddy's rich, and your mama's good-looking
So, hush, little baby, don't you cry
Item 3 of 5
Because wearing a mask should be fun!
This one is a dual-purpose mask serving both latter-day Cure fans and earlier-day Bowie fans.
...Brett did all the graphics, and I did the text.
Beating Ignorance Is The Cure COVID-19 Kit
Item 1 of 5
Be a caring member of your community. Don't be a selfish swine taking more than your fair share of basic resources. Other people have needs too.
Remember, your IQ is 150 minus the number of rolls of toilet paper at your house.
Item 2 of 5
Wash your hands, people! Soap and water are just as effective as fancy handwashes and sanitisers if you do it properly.
Don't touch your face unless your hands are properly clean. Especially, don't touch your eyes or lips or pick your nose or stick fingers in your mouth or bite your fingernails, unless you have washed your hands thoroughly beforehand (and not re-contaminated yourself from a dirty tap etc). This is hard to do unless we practice lots and are mindful, because we involuntarily do this loads of times otherwise. This is why some people who aren't coughing or sneezing wear surgical masks anyway - not because ordinary surgical masks protect you properly from aerosolised pathogens (they are better at protecting bystanders from bugs you might sneeze out or cough up), but because it helps people stop absent-mindedly touching their mouths and noses.
Tutorials on effective hand-washing are available on YouTube. 20 seconds minimum is generally recommended (not 17 Seconds, I'm sorry to say) - and wash them as if you've just chopped jalapenos and are planning on putting in some contact lenses next.
Find a little song to sing, time where you get to in 20 seconds, and sing that part every time you wash your hands if necessary. For example, the first four lines of Summertime should be sufficient.
Summertime, and the living is easy
Fish are jumping, and the cotton is high
Oh, your daddy's rich, and your mama's good-looking
So, hush, little baby, don't you cry
Item 3 of 5
Because wearing a mask should be fun!
This one is a dual-purpose mask serving both latter-day Cure fans and earlier-day Bowie fans.
Item 4 of 5
Item 5 of 5
Social Distancing with Simon
Are you fed up with the people who aren't taking this pandemic seriously, and who don't care if they spread their germs all over you? Let Simon help you with social distancing.
Option 1: A Texas Longhorn cow is a valuable aid to social distancing. Horn spans frequently exceed 2 metres. If you take one of these on your walks around town or country, nobody is going to barge into you, or come within coughing distance of where you are breathing. And while Texas Longhorns are not a dairy breed, they can easily supply enough milk for your household on top of raising their own calf, reducing the necessity for shopping trips into potentially virus-laden indoors spaces.
Option 2: If you live in an apartment, you may not have the space for a Texas Longhorn cow, so why not buy a specially made, completely solid replica bass guitar in signature pink. While you can't play music on it, it still looks pretty cool, and has been especially designed for standing up to repeated impacts if necessary. Replica bass guitar plus average arm length exceeds 2 metres, so if you spin around holding it by the tuning peg end, you should be able to maintain the currently recommended social distancing space around you (or clear a sufficient space if necessary).
(Nice Photoshop job above, BTW - Mr Gallup was originally leaning up against his mountain bike.)
Item 5 of 5
Social Distancing with Simon
Are you fed up with the people who aren't taking this pandemic seriously, and who don't care if they spread their germs all over you? Let Simon help you with social distancing.
Option 1: A Texas Longhorn cow is a valuable aid to social distancing. Horn spans frequently exceed 2 metres. If you take one of these on your walks around town or country, nobody is going to barge into you, or come within coughing distance of where you are breathing. And while Texas Longhorns are not a dairy breed, they can easily supply enough milk for your household on top of raising their own calf, reducing the necessity for shopping trips into potentially virus-laden indoors spaces.
Option 2: If you live in an apartment, you may not have the space for a Texas Longhorn cow, so why not buy a specially made, completely solid replica bass guitar in signature pink. While you can't play music on it, it still looks pretty cool, and has been especially designed for standing up to repeated impacts if necessary. Replica bass guitar plus average arm length exceeds 2 metres, so if you spin around holding it by the tuning peg end, you should be able to maintain the currently recommended social distancing space around you (or clear a sufficient space if necessary).
(Nice Photoshop job above, BTW - Mr Gallup was originally leaning up against his mountain bike.
)
@crewlucaa_ has some links to mooning garden gnomes which I think would be perfect terrible merchandise to play a practical joke on a garden gnome fancier, by surreptitiously putting one in their collection somewhere...
Slim Jim
has glasses,shirt,hair, just need jim charisma now
That's really creative.
Even the man endorses it. Look at those eyes. That silently say "You will buy my toothbrush. You will brush 3 times a day. Or I will kill you."
Oh well done, @Slim Jim!
After all this time and trying to get others to join in on some Photoshop gags, both on the Curefans forum two years ago and on Reddit, you are the very first person in the world to have taken on the challenge to actually make something in response. Brett will be thrilled to see your work!
I understand our sense of humour is unusual, so it's nice when someone gets it. Also though this project gathered a few dozen likes on Reddit, people tend to be consumers rather than creators.
Thanks heaps for your super effort! It's seamless. What was he originally holding?
After all this time and trying to get others to join in on some Photoshop gags, both on the Curefans forum two years ago and on Reddit, you are the very first person in the world to have taken on the challenge to actually make something in response. Brett will be thrilled to see your work!
I understand our sense of humour is unusual, so it's nice when someone gets it. Also though this project gathered a few dozen likes on Reddit, people tend to be consumers rather than creators.
Thanks heaps for your super effort! It's seamless. What was he originally holding?
I have Photoshop. A mock up. I think this make a great souvenir.
Just a harmless play doll. Life size. In every way. Enjoy your favorite beatle at home!
1 of 4.
There's also:
Average Paul
Giant George
Tiny Ringo
Now everyone can be a successful groupie.
Y'know, I always thought of Leonardo DiCaprio this way. The teenage girls post-Titanic commonly had pictures of him pasted on their exercise books, and I always thought he looked...inflatable, somehow. Was forever looking for the air valve...
I have Photoshop. A mock up. I think this make a great souvenir.
Just a harmless play doll. Life size. In every way. Enjoy your favorite beatle at home!
1 of 4.
There's also:
Average Paul
Giant George
Tiny Ringo
...trying to work out your hypothesis. Size of wedding tackle inversely proportional to size of ego? Inversely proportional to amount of perceived musical talent? ...or is this based on actual inspection?
Even the man endorses it. Look at those eyes. That silently say "You will buy my toothbrush. You will brush 3 times a day. Or I will kill you."
Bwahahaha! Precisely.
Brush your teeth, or else...the Spiderman will have you for dinner tonight...
Slim Jim
has glasses,shirt,hair, just need jim charisma now
Maybe not now. But one day,one day. When genetic engineering is available to all.
A home kit, where you can, in the comfort of your own home, turn yourself into the fruit of your choice.
Become the human apple.The human potato. Or even the human kumquat. Whatever you like.
A home kit, where you can, in the comfort of your own home, turn yourself into the fruit of your choice.
Become the human apple.The human potato. Or even the human kumquat. Whatever you like.
New Threads
-
-
Thinking Person’s Guide to Autism
- Started by Alexej
- Replies: 7
-
-
-
Seven Ways of Obtaining Free Special Needs Travel Resources at U.S. Airports
- Started by TravelingWiki
- Replies: 1
-
-
-
-
