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Depression here I come...

Lauran

Member
I'm tragically unemployed. My Mom won't let me go to college work outside my house. In fact, she never let me step outside at all, even to my friends house (the funny thing is she demanded me to work remotely when we can't even afford to buy a laptop). She's paranoid as hell's something wrong with her mentally. Plus, I live in a semi-cult family (?).

Idk how to use the correct phrase, but basically my family is very strict and conservative believer in the point that they won't let me to step outside at all due to one of their beliefs that discouraged women to go outside. The purity culture it's sooo messed up, especially towards women.

I used to debate with her regularly about this belief bc deep down, I emphasized my mom who's fall into this severe brainwash. But I stopped, it's useless. She's too keen with this sexist, nonsense and out group derogation beliefs. Her dogma is just too strong. Instead, she calls me an evil non-believer instead of when the real bad guy is just a bunch of men tryna manipulate a bunch of people, once again, especially towards women.

It's just soo bad. Even though I never get official diagnoses (bc we are poor), I know I've been depressed for a long time, maybe since I'm 13. I just feel like I am trapped and disconnected to the outside world. I never really have a close friend bc I can't go to their house and I'm too scared to bring them home bc some of them are men and we just naturally curse a lot.

I always feel lonely. It's suffocating. When I try to reach out to people online, sometimes my body just refuse to answer their chat even though I really want to. Idk what happened to me.

I want to escape, but I need some cash and I can't get that because I'm unemployed.
 
It would be pretty hard to get a job without being allowed to leave your house at all.🥹
 
@Lauran
It sounds like you are in a really tough situation and I am sorry you feel so lonely and suffocated.

From your mother’s perspective, what is the cultural/religious expectation for a young woman your age?

Do you have any friends or other family members who are supportive?
 
This sounds not a great way to live. If you are a minor, you could try reporting it to Child Protective Services, sometimes they move you into a foster home, but it maybe a horrible place. You also maybe placed in a facility home, which can also be problematic. Your best choice, find a work program that provides a place to live in overseas, etc. Start a go fund me page, live as a nanny even. I lived in as a nanny during my last year of high school, as l was kicked out of my home at 17. I went to Europe and lived with a family taking care of a baby and teaching English to their tween daughter. I came back to the states and lived with my grandmother until l moved out.
 
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You can't be imprisoned, that's against the law, calling the police and reporting this is a very difficult option but you may need to consider this.


 
@Lauran
It sounds like you are in a really tough situation and I am sorry you feel so lonely and suffocated.

From your mother’s perspective, what is the cultural/religious expectation for a young woman your age?

Do you have any friends or other family members who are supportive?

The religious expectations for me is obviously marriage and need to be arranged marriage. But, it's not like forced marriage, though. We can refuse it if we don't like our fiancé and they'll try to find someone else. That's why I said that it's "semi-cult" because it's actually not that strict (?)

For supportive friends, I don't have it in RL, but I have my online friend and she's really supportive. Sadly, she's so far from my region.
 
You can't be imprisoned, that's against the law, calling the police and reporting this is a very difficult option but you may need to consider this.



Maybe it's hard if I report to the police abt this because it's so expensive to make a report. My country is kinda messed up and the police wouldn't do anything if the victim aren't giving them cash (basically a kick back) + my family uses the majority religion here for guidance, but interpret those teachings too literally and in extreme ways, so it's difficult to report them as a cult. However, I'll consider abt living as a nanny
 

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