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Depression and doing nothing

Dothemo2323

Active Member
Hi,

I was wondering if in Aspergers not having a job or something to do can make things worse? I used to work full-time in a highly functioning job but due to a severe Zoloft reaction (and temporary valium addiction) I had a nervous breakdown and lost my job. I was quite highly functioning with a job but now I'm depressed, addicted to my mobile phone and can't be bothered getting out of bed till early mid afternoon. I don't want to be like this and feel increasingly hopeless. Is this common with our disorder? Where could I go or what could I do to break free of this? Thankyou.
 
Hi,

I was wondering if in Aspergers not having a job or something to do can make things worse? I used to work full-time in a highly functioning job but due to a severe Zoloft reaction (and temporary valium addiction) I had a nervous breakdown and lost my job. I was quite highly functioning with a job but now I'm depressed, addicted to my mobile phone and can't be bothered getting out of bed till early mid afternoon. I don't want to be like this and feel increasingly hopeless. Is this common with our disorder? Where could I go or what could I do to break free of this? Thankyou.
CBT or more likely DBT A lot of people on the autism spectrum say CBT doesn't work for them i've never had DBT
so I don't know what it's like .
I'm in the uk and you only get 6 -forty five minute sessions
so I can't tell you how effective it is.
 
I am not diagnosed with ASD, but that sounds a lot like my experience. I was functioning fairly well with a job as a support worker. I had some minor depression with insomnia and anxiety so my doctor put me on Welbutrin. The effects of this medication were hellish, sending me into a total breakdown.

Since then I haven't even been able to look for work in earnest without suffering severe anxiety. My sleep schedule is erratic and I spend far too much time watching YouTube or surfing the web.

If I had a job to give my life some more structure that would probably be a good thing for me. In fact, I did briefly have a job working for some friends, but their business is very small and they couldn't afford to keep me on. Even though it was menial I thing I felt a lot better doing that than doing nothing.

What bothers me most is that I fancy myself a creative person by nature. I have so many ideas and things that I want to do, but in the moment I often don't feel like doing much of anything. Ironically, the worse I feel about my inaction the more difficult it becomes to even move. Depression is a horribly paradoxical beast that feeds upon itself.
 
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Hi,

I was wondering if in Aspergers not having a job or something to do can make things worse? I used to work full-time in a highly functioning job but due to a severe Zoloft reaction (and temporary valium addiction) I had a nervous breakdown and lost my job. I was quite highly functioning with a job but now I'm depressed, addicted to my mobile phone and can't be bothered getting out of bed till early mid afternoon. I don't want to be like this and feel increasingly hopeless. Is this common with our disorder? Where could I go or what could I do to break free of this? Thankyou.
Have you thought about volunteering!nursing my mam was one of the best experiences I have Ever had ,you will know what charity you could cope with
 
All in all, depression thrives on isolation and idleness. It's rather ironic seeing how much it causes that behaviour.

I'm sure, seeing as you've been taking Zoloft, that you know all about depression first-hand. I think it's two times more difficult for AS(D) person than NT one though. Depression episode can be additionally caused by overstimulation while worsened by understimulation. Because of the overall lack of understanding of the world around, I would say that it's more common for AS(D) person to fall into depression (according to statistics every 1 per 4 people will go through depression at some point in their life; with AS(D) it would be a higher number; even if I haven't found any evidence for this it seems only logical due to the sensitivity).

What to do with depression?

I know it's hard to motivate yourself to do anything while depressed. In fact, there doesn't seem to be any point even in trying. The first thing I'm going to tell you is: It's okay to not be okay. You're not a lazy good-for-nothing, you're simply sick. Depression is called a common cold in the mental illness spectrum for a reason. A lot of people are going through the same.

1. Isolation and idleness won't help.
Try to find something to do. Even if it is twenty minutes of activity - do it. It's already enough. Read a chapter in a book. Go for a walk. Buy something nutritional to eat - nuts or fruits, with yoghurt preferably. Just do something, anything at all.
Above all, leave the bed whenever you can. It's going to be hard and tiring but do it. Look around your room. Sit down. Put your legs on the floor. Stand. Take a step. If possible, don't touch the bed for the next few minutes.

2. Drink a lot of water.
First thing in the morning - drink a glass of water. First thing in the evening - drink a glass of water. Just do it. A well-watered brain works better and it doesn't take much work to put a glass and a bottle of water in your room. Just drink water, have it near you and drink whenever you feel like it during the day.

3. Contact with people.
It can be doubly hard when contact with other people exhausts you but do it. Text with your family if only a bit or call them if you don't mind it. Visit a forum(this one or other like 7cups for example). Go to a park and just observe. Don't stay alone all the time. Ironically, during depression the normal feeling of relief common for AS(D) while alone will turn into hopelessness due to isolation. Don't do it.

4. Avoid social media.
Yes, you've read well. If you use social media like facebook or instagram, it may be a good idea to cut down the time spent on them. If possible, don't visit them at all. It's no use beating yourself over not being able to live like your NT acquintances.

5. Eat well.
It can be hard to eat during an episode but a healthy diet is a must. Your brain can't recuperate if you don't help it. Eat at least three meals with vegetables, fruits, nuts and if you can a dairy. If it's hard to swallow the texture of solids, cook soups, shakes etc. and just drink them. You may also want to eat soft things like oats or pastes after a few days of not eating well enough(one or less meal) to make your stomach get used to being full again. You may not have appetite but you need to force yourself to eat.

6. Prepare a Good Box.
It probably won't work for everyone but may work for you, especially if you're AS(D). Create a simple, small box of, as I call it, Goodies. Put there your favourite smells, textures, music, photos, even some foods if they can be stored outside the normal means. Everything that makes you feel nostalgic, calm, even bittersweet. When you're feeling better, put inside even a Positive Jar - filled with short messages from yourself(can be simple, like 'It'll pass', 'You'll get through this!', 'Just move, it'll get better!' etc. or descriptions of good days with things that made you happy).

7. Calm down.
Try to relax. Calm down. It will turn out fine. Organise some Me-time. It may be 10 minutes, 30 minutes, less or more. You can write your feelings down in a journal that has some special meaning to you(if it's just a normal one, you may not want to continue). Meditate. Listen to Alpha or Theta waves(especially before sleep or a nap). Just try to relax. It's okay. It'll be better.

8. And above all, don't give up.
It will get better. You have depression but depression is not you, it's not even part of you. It's an illness and like all illnesses, can be beaten.

fd4fb74be1e3c0b16c0cca1f5dfa6d7d.jpg

Some resources you may find useful:
Self Help Guides | 7 Cups
Experience Calm


I'm no professional. You may want to find one but till then(or instead) you can PM me with any questions. You may also like to try CBT. I think there's a book called CBT for dummies, as well as a workbook. It was once available as a free pdf, you may want to check it.

Take care!
onlything
 
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Depression is quite common with ASC. I guess you're looking at social media on your phone quite a lot? I saw an interesting statistic that people who spend longer looking at social media have a bigger chance of being depressed.

I too had a bad reaction to sertraline and became very depressed. But I have since tried other medications and have found ones that help a great deal. In that time I've since been able to pass my driver's test and I'm moving on in my life, just yesterday I put a deposit down on a car.

I can understand if you've been put off trying other medication from that bad experience but I really recommend you try something else, they can really change your life.
 
I live with ASD and I have to battle depression a lot...
I have learned a few simple secrets over time.

One, is don't think on the past, there is no going back. Yes, it will jump in your face but at that second catch it, thank yourself for the ability to catch it, and then refocus on anything but that... A good song, a motivational video, whatever you like... Set some small goals and focus on doing them now.

Two, the minute you open your eyes in the morning throw your feet on the floor, get up, make up your bed, head for the shower... Don't hit snooze, get up right then, count to 5 and on 5 stand up! While your in the shower think on what you need to do today to improve your life... Keep it simple don't let it overwhelm you.
You only consider what will help you today, don't get into this loop of things that are too big to handle.

Third do those little things, even if they are small at first. Those small things are changing the chemical balance in your body. Next thing you know without even thinking on it you are handling bigger things, feeling better, looking for a new job, the house is clean, your life is organized, and your mind is clear...

If you can do even some small exercises it releases endorphins into your body and that alone will start pulling you out of depression hell just a little at a time... Just getting up and moving around cleaning house will release these chemicals. They are better than any drug out there. It works for me and I have to battle this stuff a lot.

Yes CBT worked some for me, but this right here is what I gleaned from all that chatter. I am just giving it to you to try with hopes it might help you like it did me.

Its simple, don't worry about complicated theory's, it just takes a little time and you can and will be back to LIFE... Its all ebb and flow... Our lows are where we build up the strength to enjoy the highs.

Oh and smile at yourself, laugh at yourself and with yourself, watch funny stuff... that also releases "feel good" chemicals inside us. You got this, we all have this stuff in us. Just push through it, no one wants to lay around in zombieville, so please just try. I know it sucks. I know I don't want to even listen to people sometimes, but LOGIC will take you out of this.

I wish you well soon. : )

PS... Go to the thread "The last thing that made you laugh." You will have to feel better soon... : )
 
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I live with ASD and I have to battle depression a lot...
I have learned a few simple secrets over time.

One, is don't think on the past, there is no going back. Yes, it will jump in your face but at that second catch it, thank yourself for the ability to catch it, and then refocus on anything but that... A good song, a motivational video, whatever you like... Set some small goals and focus on doing them now.

Two, the minute you open your eyes in the morning throw your feet on the floor, get up, make up your bed, head for the shower... Don't hit snooze, get up right then, count to 5 and on 5 stand up! While your in the shower think on what you need to do today to improve your life... Keep it simple don't let it overwhelm you.
You only consider what will help you today, don't get into this loop of things that are too big to handle.

Third do those little things, even if they are small at first. Those small things are changing the chemical balance in your body. Next thing you know without even thinking on it you are handling bigger things, feeling better, looking for a new job, the house is clean, your life is organized, and your mind is clear...

If you can do even some small exercises it releases endorphins into your body and that alone will start pulling you out of depression hell just a little at a time... Just getting up and moving around cleaning house will release these chemicals. They are better than any drug out there. It works for me and I have to battle this stuff a lot.

Yes CBT worked some for me, but this right here is what I gleaned from all that chatter. I am just giving it to you to try with hopes it might help you like it did me.

Its simple, don't worry about complicated theory's, it just takes a little time and you can and will be back to LIFE... Its all ebb and flow... Our lows are where we build up the strength to enjoy the highs.

Oh and smile at yourself, laugh at yourself and with yourself, watch funny stuff... that also releases "feel good" chemicals inside us. You got this, we all have this stuff in us. Just push through it, no one wants to lay around in zombieville, so please just try. I know it sucks. I know I don't want to even listen to people sometimes, but LOGIC will take you out of this.

I wish you well soon. : )

PS... Go to the thread "The last thing that made you laugh." You will have to feel better soon... : )

1 - A good advice, though may not work with PTSD(though I suppose we're not talking about it here). With PTSD you need to go through your past experiences in a planned time or they will devour you.

2 - Hard to do but very important. Still, if you feel you don't have enough energy for a shower, just pass it and proceed.

3 - True. It's not going to be a quick thing but it'll happen.

4 - Exercise. Yes. I knew I forgot about something. Definitely try to exercise. Even a few stretches in the beginning are enough.
 
1 - A good advice, though may not work with PTSD(though I suppose we're not talking about it here). With PTSD you need to go through your past experiences in a planned time or they will devour you.

2 - Hard to do but very important. Still, if you feel you don't have enough energy for a shower, just pass it and proceed.

3 - True. It's not going to be a quick thing but it'll happen.

4 - Exercise. Yes. I knew I forgot about something. Definitely try to exercise. Even a few stretches in the beginning are enough.

For me the shower is key... Yes it sucks to go do that first thing, but It smells good, you start moving, your body loosenes up, you get your circulation going, and I just feel much better after a shower... Plus I'm clean and ready to go face the world... Sure anyone can skip it, but its the booster cables that jump start the whole process for me. I also know we are all different and I respect that... : )
 
For me the shower is key... Yes it sucks to go do that first thing, but It smells good, you start moving, your body loosenes up, you get your circulation going, and I just feel much better after a shower... Plus I'm clean and ready to go face the world... Sure anyone can skip it, but its the booster cables that jump start the whole process for me. I also know we are all different and I respect that... : )

I get it, though shower somehow always takes all my energy away, though I think it's connected more to my PTSD and the vulnerability during the showering process rather than depleted energy levels due to depression.
 
I get it, though shower somehow always takes all my energy away, though I think it's connected more to my PTSD and the vulnerability during the showering process rather than depleted energy levels due to depression.

Wow... see I do understand you, even agree with you, but I cant process it, ASD at work.\? I guess...

I have horrible PTSD but a shower has no affect on it.
Start screaming at me, or pick something up to hit me... I'm done, on the run, and on my way to a serious battle in my head. I love water... Water is just magical to me, so that maybe why I relate to a shower so easy.

So, yes it would not help you apparently... but to me (in my sick head) I just don't get it, but yet I know we are all different and thats what makes us unique, and this makes our world not this boring landscape of drones. : )
 
I get it, though shower somehow always takes all my energy away, though I think it's connected more to my PTSD and the vulnerability during the showering process rather than depleted energy levels due to depression.

If that showering situation is zapping all of your energy, just step in, quick wash and out again.
Sometimes the thoughts alone of the whole process and specific routines involved can be wearing. Run your energy down before you've even stepped into the bathroom.

Don't analyse it.
Set a goal - you can go back onto your phone after a quick shower.?
 
Wow... see I do understand you, even agree with you, but I cant process it, ASD at work.\? I guess...

I have horrible PTSD but a shower has no affect on it.
Start screaming at me, or pick something up to hit me... I'm done, on the run, and on my way to a serious battle in my head. I love water... Water is just magical to me, so that maybe why I relate to a shower so easy.

So, yes it would not help you apparently... but to me (in my sick head) I just don't get it, but yet I know we are all different and thats what makes us unique, and this makes our world not this boring landscape of drones. : )

I understand the shouting situation. Any hostility - and I say any(also any behaviour that may be considered 'predatory') - cause in me flight/fight response. Try to do anything that my brain considers as danger and you're done for - trust is not coming back easily. By the way, you're definitely not sick nor your brain is sick. Sick was the person that did it to you. (I write it because I feel like you wanted to use a bit more emphasized word.)

About the shower, let me try to describe my thought process. It's all about being vulnerable - in a small room without windows and with closed doors(no way to escape), standing naked(nothing covering and as such no protection of the body), being wet(hard to operate, easy to slip on the floor), nothing sharp/blunt around(not weapon for protection). That's just it. On the other hand, I love water - for example I don't have problems with a lake, seaside, a river or a swimming pool.

If that showering situation is zapping all of your energy, just step in, quick wash and out again.
Sometimes the thoughts alone of the whole process and specific routines involved can be wearing. Run your energy down before you've even stepped into the bathroom.

Don't analyse it.
Set a goal - you can go back onto your phone after a quick shower.?

Thank you for your answer, I may try it next time, though I think you mistook me with the author of the thread ;).
 
I am depressed too. I get up early and have to face the whole day. You are lucky to sleep in.

Dbt did not help me. I dont have menral health ins that anyone takes. In usa if u r on DIS u cant work without risking your health care. So u r stuck.

Volunteer is good. Family is a life saver. Reading is also. But isolation is safe. Right now i want to go to gym but scared of negative experience. I am odd looking and people tend to react negatively. Some days i can take it. Other days it makes me so depressed i could jump off a high building. I wont!!! But i feel that way
 
Some good advice up thread. I agree that when I was at my lowest finding a voluntary job help me start on the way back.

As for therapy- meh. I could have done with some that took ASC into account. But then I was undiagnosed.

I was also given an anti-black-dog black dog. The need for regular exercise helped (and the slobbery wet kisses). Try borrowing one.
 
Hi,

I was wondering if in Aspergers not having a job or something to do can make things worse? I used to work full-time in a highly functioning job but due to a severe Zoloft reaction (and temporary valium addiction) I had a nervous breakdown and lost my job. I was quite highly functioning with a job but now I'm depressed, addicted to my mobile phone and can't be bothered getting out of bed till early mid afternoon. I don't want to be like this and feel increasingly hopeless. Is this common with our disorder? Where could I go or what could I do to break free of this? Thankyou.

I have PTSD in addition to Aspergers and some incidents bring everything out at once and I end up having to deal with depression. I have gotten a lot of practice in things to do to get out of depression.

I kind of use Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs for a plan of action. I am not interested in debating whether this hierarchy is good or not. It is just a handy way of prioritizing things when I can not think too clearly.

I start with food and water. When I am depressed, I can have trouble remembering to drink enough water, so I put what I will need for the day into bottles so I can tell if I am on track to drink enough. I will also measure out the day's food if I think I will need to do that. If I am doing well enough, I just make sure I have enough food ready to get me through the day and at least the next morning.

I write myself a list of things that I need to accomplish in the near future. I make smaller lists for what to do right away. How many items this list contains depends on how I am doing. If it is very bad, the list has one thing on it. If I am doing a little better, it has three things on it.

This may be as much as I can manage for the whole day, if I am doing very badly. If I am doing a little better, I will do the whole immediate list and make another from the longer list, crossing items off as I finish them. I repeat this if I am doing well enough. Eventually I get to where I can just work from my longer list.

I keep a list of things that make me feel good. This can be things like making a bowl of popcorn and watching a free movie, or a small repair that needs to be done, or free lectures, or projects to start, work on, or finish. One of mine is clipping my cats' nails and brushing them.

When I feel bad, I pick something from my feel good list to do to make me feel better. The reason I try to keep this list going all the time is because when I feel bad, it can be hard to think of things that will make me feel better. Having the list ready takes care of that problem.

I do a lot more things than this, but this is the most basic part of it that can get one functioning again and ready for full recovery.
 
1. Isolation and idleness won't help.
Try to find something to do. Even if it is twenty minutes of activity - do it. It's already enough. Read a chapter in a book. Go for a walk. Buy something nutritional to eat - nuts or fruits, with yoghurt preferably. Just do something, anything at all.
Above all, leave the bed whenever you can. It's going to be hard and tiring but do it. Look around your room. Sit down. Put your legs on the floor. Stand. Take a step. If possible, don't touch the bed for the next few minutes.

I'll second this one. To lay around and mope or feel sorry for yourself and constantly think about the negative stuff is a vicious cycle of self-defeating actions. It helps nothing, it accomplishes nothing. It only hurts. FORCE yourself to not lay down, or sit down yet do nothing.

Instead, think of something that's normally mentally engaging to you. SOmething that outright forces your mind to focus on it in order to do it. And just go and freaking do it. Doesnt matter if you want to or not.... do it anyway. For me, my main hobby is gaming. If I'm feeling down, if I'm overly focused on something bad, I'll go to the PC, choose a game that I usually find particularly engaging (something difficult and/or complex), and just start doing that. Even if it's hard to do. After a time, I *will* be mentally engaged, and through this, my mood will improve. And the bad thoughts wont have a place to sit around in. Essentially, I simply knock them out of place with something that doesnt suck.
 
Gaming may be a good escape, but such activities are also addictive. I am a YouTube junkie myself. It lifts my mood and is way better than ruminating, but it doesn't ultimately solve the problem. At the end of the day I have still been unproductive and I have to live with that. I also know compulsive gamers, and as wonderful a pastime as gaming is I think it's kind of sad when somebody can't put down the controller and engage with real life.
 
Gaming may be a good escape, but such activities are also addictive. I am a YouTube junkie myself. It lifts my mood and is way better than ruminating, but it doesn't ultimately solve the problem. At the end of the day I have still been unproductive and I have to live with that. I also know compulsive gamers, and as wonderful a pastime as gaming is I think it's kind of sad when somebody can't put down the controller and engage with real life.

Ah, but this is a misconception. I've had experiences that prove this.

To go into a bit of detail:

Firstly, gaming got me OUT of the house. Not just that though... it got me to go out of the state entirely (I'm in the US). Why? Because of gaming, I also took an interest in cosplay. And thus, conventions. But these require travel. I made my very first trip out of state, on my own, due to this. And now? I've grown comfortable with the idea. Not just for conventions, but for any reason. I dont need any help with it and can handle getting lost. Which also led to more confidence in driving, too. I'll often go drive down random roads simply to see where they go. Sometimes, this leads to interesting things. Sometimes it leads to finding alternate routes. And even just the cosplay alone... which is related heavily to the gaming... led to a ton of important events in my life.

In addition, I've met lasting friends this way. Both through the cosplay/conventions, and through just the gaming itself. Friends I've known for many years, and have dealt with both online and in person. One in particular, my closest friend, that I've known since grade school. Gaming isnt JUST a solitary activity. Even when you're playing a game that is singleplayer only. How does THAT work? Because people like to talk about their hobbies with others that share them. It can lead to all sorts of things.

Speaking of which, lemme show this here:

THAT video alone... which is just a video of me playing a particularly difficult game... led to stuff I never could have guessed at. A few years back, I found a developer whose group goes by the name of Arcen. I had found one of their games, absolutely loved it, and so, joined their community. I found myself often helping with testing and other things. But later on, this developer had a very specific type of game they wanted to make. What is known as a "bullet hell" game. This type requires an extremely specific and very rare type of skill-set in order to create. Around that time, the head developer of that group saw this video. He went and watched a couple of my other similar ones. From that alone, he offered me a contract. To help with the development of that game, because I could do what so very, very few can. This was a paid contract. And it wasnt just a "do this, then do that" sort of thing. I'd proven to know so much about that game type that I was immediately put in a position of authority among the game's dev team. I could veto ideas that others had, if I thought they didnt fit the game or wouldnt work. I could make big decisions. Hell, right from the start I remember asking "So, what do I do first?" and the guy said "Well, what do you think you should do? Whatever it is, go and do that". The head developer had final say in everything of course, but as a rule never questioned or went against any of my decisions. I got to participate in something that many WANT to do but never get the chance to. I got to help a developer I have alot of respect for. And in addition, I now handle moderation of their community forums. The game released about a year back, but me and a few others have continued work on it even now, to make an expansion for it.

And again, that all happened JUST because of those videos. It wasnt "prior work experience", it wasnt college degrees... they dont care about that. They care about RESULTS. I gave them results, and the game got very good reviews. Just because I had played a few games and shown it. Hell, I even warned them of my various problems. I mentioned that I was autistic, for instance, and could not work many hours a week. They didnt care: They felt that, one way or another, I'd produce something good (and they were right, much to my own constant bafflement).

Lastly: My coordination is very good. And my reflexes and reaction speed are seriously abnormal. I also have the ability to mentally process an enormous amount of things at once. If you see that video, notice how many THINGS are moving around the screen at a time, particularly near the end? None of them escape my notice, period. Think of the practical applications that must have in the real world (particularly when driving).

These skills, and those events, were all made possible through this apparently "unproductive" hobby. PURELY through that. And I know I'm sure as heck not the only example. There's one very, very special example I am aware of. A certain individual on Youtube, who does mostly videos of Minecraft and is so popular that it's *literally* his job and source of income, explained how he got the channel going. Before doing it, he was suffering from major depression. He didnt know what to do, and had thought of suicide a few times. Believed himself to be worth nothing. Overweight, too. But he started doing this Youtube channel, just him playing this game and commenting on it... and the whole thing exploded. Suddenly, he was in the spotlight. People loved him, laughed with him, wanted more. He started to realize... he really was worth something, he really COULD accomplish something. His depression dropped heavily, he began to lose weight and get into shape. It changed the course of his entire life. And he is now one of Youtube's biggest stars. You cant tell me THAT one is unproductive, eh?

And this all can apply to most other hobbies as well. You never know what something might lead to... to assume otherwise is unwise.


This all is a huge part of why I recommend what I do. Because I know that this hobby many look down on can lead to some incredible things, regardless of wether you expect it to or not. Even the most "pointless" of things can lead to chain reactions of events in our lives that we couldnt even guess at.

Just something to keep in mind, as I believe it important to have an understanding of this when looking at the actions and behaviors of others. So many things people do have so much more meaning than people assume.
 

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