Delayed understanding?

[Poppy98]

Am I the only one who tends to understand the conversation better much later/ much too late?

Any tips for remedying this?

The only tip that I've found for myself is that when I'm less engaged in the conversation, I'm also more intentional about my decisions, if only barely. It doesn't speed up the length of time it takes to figure out that what they just did was hypocritcal, unfair, unethical or illegal (the things I should probably process most rapidly). I get too caught up in the content of the conversation itself.

 

[Outdated]

I think you're talking about Audio Processing Disorder.

The short explanation is that it takes us longer to process sounds in to thoughts, and thoughts in to sounds. This affects many of us to varying degrees, me included.

I'm fine talking to one person, I can handle two people at once pretty well, when you add a third person to the conversation I start to notice my responses lagging, it takes longer for me to come up with comments to add and I start missing opportunities to speak. Any more people than that at once and I just fall further and further behind, by the time I've processed a comment and come up with a response of my own the conversation has already moved on and I'm too late.

I only found 2 different ways around this and I used both depending on the situation. Sometimes I was more than happy to get pushed to the periphery of the conversation, it was more relaxing to just sit in the background and smile and nod where appropriate. Or if I was getting bored with that I'd dominate the conversation, if I was the one doing all the talking then I didn't have to listen.

As for being easily led sometimes, that happens to all of us and it's lessons we can only learn the hard way.

 

[Poppy98]

I think you're talking about Audio Processing Disorder.

Tbh I'm not sure. It could be. I can tell you which words were said and type them or (one upon a time) find a Spanish equivalent for them as the person speaks so I'm getting part of it. It's more about implications, ulterior motives, trends based on the advice from others but which I knew about prior to the conversation and the only part left was applying it.

I'll have to look into that and see if that's what's going on. I wouldn't be shocked if it was, thanks for the tip!

 

[Judge]

I'll have to look into that and see if that's what's going on. I wouldn't be shocked if it was, thanks for the tip!

I'm inclined to think that @Outdated is spot-on about Audio Processing Disorder. One of those issues that seems very prevalent among our ranks as autistic people.

His description of it parallels my own to a tee. Where to really digest what was said, I often have to reflect on it after the fact. Worse in having to follow more than one person at a time. That my ability to multitask during a conversation often wanes in real time. Which admittedly at times does put me at a disadvantage in terms of communication.

Yet mentally if it doesn't involve direct communication with another person, I can multitask quite effectively in other cases. Go figure.

 

[Rodafina]

Am I the only one who tends to understand the conversation better much later/ much too late?

Nope. I think you will find it is quite common among those of us on these forums.

Any tips for remedying this?

Looking into audio processing disorder as Outdated said is a good start. Otherwise, I'd say awareness is key - now that you know you do this, try to take conversations slowly and not make any decisions or commitments mid conversation if you can. Give yourself the time you need to process things by learning phrases like, "I'll have to get back to you on that..." or "I don't know... let me think about that for a bit."

When possible, communicating through writing can help. I think that is one reason why a lot of people enjoy the format of this place. We have time to read, comprehend, and respond in a more comfortable way than face to face conversation.

I wonder if you might find this thread interesting:

https://www.autismforums.com/threads/taco-bell-incident.49963/

 

[WhitewaterWoman]

Here it is called Auditory Processing Disorder.

Yes I have it. But I also have conversations that sit in the back storage room of my mind and apparently someone is working on them because suddenly a light bulb will go off and I understand something from years or even decades ago.

 

[JayCee]

Sometimes have had realizations that there were some kinda subtext going on days later after a conversation. That feels alittle unfair . At the time. but being non commital until you have thought things over is always a prudent thing to do. Am likely to suspect dishonesty
in the interaction ,if there is immediate pressure to decide . And then , I may dissect the language used. in the conversation. And if further pressured , may just disconnect from the convo, rude or not .

 

[Ken]

Here it is called Auditory Processing Disorder.

Yes I have it. But I also have conversations that sit in the back storage room of my mind and apparently someone is working on them because suddenly a light bulb will go off and I understand something from years or even decades ago.

Yep that's me exactly. However, my whole mind is slow, not just auditory. To slow to do any kind of multitasking. I can't even listen and take notes at the same time. If I'm writing anything, then I can't listen or vice versa. That was a major problem in school.

I'm unable to listen to music and lyrics at the same time.

This has been my whole life. Never got any better or worse. I have just had to try working around it.

 

[Alexej]

Am I the only one who tends to understand the conversation better much later/ much too late?

Any tips for remedying this?

The only tip that I've found for myself is that when I'm less engaged in the conversation, I'm also more intentional about my decisions, if only barely. It doesn't speed up the length of time it takes to figure out that what they just did was hypocritcal, unfair, unethical or illegal (the things I should probably process most rapidly). I get too caught up in the content of the conversation itself.

No you are certainly not the only one who understands the subtexts much later.
I dont know of any tips to remedy this - it just is how I am.

What you describe about the about the ethics of the conversation etc - sounds really like my expereince too.