Don't interact with your mother. You have several strands of complexity in what you are up against, your ongoing relating with her is one.
You kind of bounce between talking about the strands, which I think may be a way that your foreward progress gets muddled.
Other strands being, family abuse of you as a child and young person, addictions, depression.
You very often mention your mother's ideas and opinions, historically and current. Probably could do more work on mother in therapy. As you are not yet free of her. I've got a postcard with a cartoon of a guy clasping his mother's hand, think she's on her death bed, and he's in his 60s or 70s, saying, 'Mother, you have made my life hell!'.
Yeah he's still trying to have a conversation with mother she has no interest in, and get her attention and Love. Not gonna happen. It's like, you know it but you don't know it. Rehashing examples from the past make you feel like a victim. So, ultimately you need to stop doing that. This may mean getting more of it out there in therapy though, first. Try a therapy group, it's therapeutic just listening to other's similar experiences I find. You can learn a lot, same as in groups that support us with addictions.
Once you are in charge more, with mother firmly displaced as a holder of any kind of sane or sensible opinions about you, you may be better placed to tackle other strands? Probably not enough to just agree that she should be displaced, it may take more work than that cos she's still here after all her transgressions, sucking the life out-of you.
You kind of bounce between talking about the strands, which I think may be a way that your foreward progress gets muddled.
Other strands being, family abuse of you as a child and young person, addictions, depression.
You very often mention your mother's ideas and opinions, historically and current. Probably could do more work on mother in therapy. As you are not yet free of her. I've got a postcard with a cartoon of a guy clasping his mother's hand, think she's on her death bed, and he's in his 60s or 70s, saying, 'Mother, you have made my life hell!'.
Yeah he's still trying to have a conversation with mother she has no interest in, and get her attention and Love. Not gonna happen. It's like, you know it but you don't know it. Rehashing examples from the past make you feel like a victim. So, ultimately you need to stop doing that. This may mean getting more of it out there in therapy though, first. Try a therapy group, it's therapeutic just listening to other's similar experiences I find. You can learn a lot, same as in groups that support us with addictions.
Once you are in charge more, with mother firmly displaced as a holder of any kind of sane or sensible opinions about you, you may be better placed to tackle other strands? Probably not enough to just agree that she should be displaced, it may take more work than that cos she's still here after all her transgressions, sucking the life out-of you.
