Daughters first school year

[Perkinsj88]

I myself have ASD, aspergers, whichever you prefer. I suspect my daughter has it too pending a doc appt. Her first day of kindergarten is tomorrow and I'm so emotionally confused by it. I've told my wife she has to drop her off for class, if I did chances are we would end up at the zoo instead XD. I'm partially anxious because I fear she wont do well with her peers, she is a brilliant 5 year old but lacks social skills as much as I do. And another side of me is deeply saddened becausr I'm having to let go of my sweet baby girl, feels like I'm throwing her to the wolves . I have disconcerting memories of my peers and teachers so I trust no one with my precious daughter. She serms 100% excited, not nervous at all, its me that's having all the anxiety and sadness. Any suggestions on how to cope as a parents with aspergers?

 

[Kelly]

I was so afraid when my daughter first started pre-school at age 3, I stayed with her for the first few months(partly because she would scream and cry if we left her), slowly she got used to the environment and the other children and she really came out of her shell. Before she started pre-school she was so afraid of everything, lived in her dad's jacket(he had to carry her everywhere and she'd hide her face in his jacket) by the end of pre-school she was a confident happy little girl. Then she started reception at school(UK version of kindergarten) same worries as you, would she get along with the kids, would she get picked on etc, the first few months I was a wreck but as she settled in so did I and I didn't have to worry the first few years of school she was one of the most popular kids in the school(no idea how that happened!). As she's gotten older and her AS traits are becoming more obvious to others her friend circle has diminished a bit but she still has plenty of friends, she's a very confident girl and although kids have tried to pick on her she's given back as good as she got and stuck up for other kids too so as she moves into year 4(she's 8) I'm not at all worried about how she's going to do, 3 of her closest friends have moved away which has been a big blow for her but she's keen to make new ones.

If you can stand it then have as many play dates as possible, the more approachable you seem to other parents the more they will encourage the kids friendship. I suck at any social interaction because of AS but my husband (who we suspect has AS too) is very very good at it, he has scripts for people and knows what they want to hear. So since pre-school our daughter has had friends come over to play, she has gone to their house, we've had huge birthday parties(and invited the whole class) and tried to keep her social life as active as possible. At one point we had her friend coming over every Tuesday and every few weeks she was at someone's birthday party, I'm actually glad that's been cut back down it was exhausting(and expensive). She has 5 'best friends' but she is friendly with almost her entire year group(so nearly 60 kids) plus a few from other years and she does play with a range of kids, not everyday but she may play with Charlotte and Izzy on a Monday and then Charlotte, Amber and Evie Tuesday, Wednesday she might play tag with 20+ kids, I've always encouraged her to branch out as much as possible, play with everyone and then you'll have plenty of choices for friends. After school clubs are a great way to get her a circle of friends too, so see what is available that she might like, good luck and I'm sure you will both be fine

 

[Perkinsj88]

Thanks, reading your story has alleviated some of the worry. I have to remember school has changed a lot since I was a little boy, teachers are more savvy to our condition now. I think I'm struggling so much because I've been unemployed going on 2 years, got to see her every morning after missing a lot of her early years (I worked 10+ hour days). I sure wish my wife was good with people lol, shrs as bad as I am in that department.