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Dating a guy with Autism

S

Sarah713

New Member
hi, first let me say, I'm new here so if this is in the wrong place, I apologise.

I've been dating a guy for about 8 months (I'm not on the autistic spectrum but he is). If I'm truly honest, I've fallen for him in a big way. He told me on our second date that he is autistic. I though I understood autism, after all, two of my nephews are autistic, apparently not. About 4months ago, right around when things started getting busy for his band, he went really distant, at the time, I thought he'd gone off me (I stupidly didn't think about his autism because of how little it was visible) now I'm wondering if it was because of how busy he was. Anyway l, I've already said things that have probably upset him which is not what I want. Anyway after not seeing him since middle of June, he came over last week but he didn't seem himself which I can only think was because he was really tired and stressed. Anyway, what can I do to make things easier for him? I don't want to lose him because I've been an ignorant idiot, I don't want to change him but I feel if I can understand how he thinks and feels, what makes him tick so to speak we have a better chance of making this work. I can't say the autism doesn't scare me but I'm not about to run away because this. Any help would be great
 
The autism alone shouldn't scare you away. Most autistic people tend to like direct communication- say things as they are as much as possible. Don't try to mask. Still takes things slow and go with the flow. Maybe ask him questions in-person about what he likes and if there are particular ways he likes to do anything.

You can probably ask him directly if he is still interested in you too. Good luck.
 
It's not so much the autism what worries me, it's more I'm worried about not f***ing up and offending him. I'll be honest we've barely seen or spoke in about 4 'on the so I'm really nervous about talking about his autism but having a child with hydrocephalus, I know how much over-stimulation can be a bad thing. When he came over last week he was wearing his baggy hoody not his usual jumper, he couldn't sit, apart from to have dinner, it was like the lights were too bright and he actually called my husky to him when the dog went outside (normally it's a quick fuss and he ignores them) he wasn't comfortable with the normal kiss and cuddle. Now, the only experience I have with autism is pre teens so clearly a lot different to someone who's nearly 40 but I feel that if I can make it easier and less stressful being here or with me that's got to be a good thing, right?
 
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