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Dad Jokes

As a child who grew up before divorce was common, I had no idea it was not normal to have 4 grandmothers, because I did. But anyway, I literally only remember 1 joke told by 1 of my grandmothers.
But my grandfathers, especially one great grandfather joked a lot.🤔
 
Crossbreed said:
Do share. ;)
Click to expand...
Two backwoods ladies were chatting, and one said she was doing fine except for having to stay in bed with arthritis.
The other one replied "Land sakes, I'm so sorry!
I've been in bed with all them Itis boys, but Arthur is the roughest by far!
 
I did not have the patience to sit through an extended driver's training class
so I took a crash course...!
full
 
I walked out my front door earlier this week and found a large hole had been dug in my front lawn. I looked around and saw the neighbour’s dog on the other side of the fence, watching me. The next morning I walked out my front door and saw another large hole had been dug in my front lawn. I looked across and, sure enough, there was the neighbour’s dog, tongue lolling out, watching me. The following morning when I walked out my front door there was yet another large hole in my front lawn and there was the neighbour’s dog watching me with a glint in his eye. So I marched across to my neighbour’s house, knocked on the front door and, when he opened the door, asked him what was going on in my front yard. He looked across and said,
”Well, well, well, three holes in the ground!
 
What is brown and sticky and often found along hiking trails?
a stick
 
How many autistics does it take to change a light bulb?

One. We are efficient and humorless.
 
Rene Descartes walks into a bar. He orders a drink, finishes it. The bartender walks up and asks, "Would you like another?" Descartes says, "I think not" and ceases to exist.
 
Q: Why can't a bicycle stand up by itself...? 🚲
A: Because it is "two-tired...!"
full
 
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Mom: How was your first day of school?
Kid: Awful. The teacher told me, "Sit here for the present", but she didn't give me anything!
 
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