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Corrupt A Wish

Granted. Now the menu is your least favorite food. (I definitely agree with that wish)

I wish no one would care if the carpet didn't perfectly line up with the fireplace.
 
WISH GRANTED:
Nobody cares that the carpet and fireplace, together with
the chair and couch, all marched away in a raggedly
crooked line, never to be seen again.

I wish I could figure out where to put the wooden exercise bike
so that I could use it indoors during the winter.
 
Granted, but it soon falls apart and you must re-assemble it every day.

I wish I had a stationary bicycle for exercise.
 
The bike doesn't move, and neither do the pedals.

I wish I could listen to Three Days Grace all day without interruptions.
 
WISH GRANTED:
There are no spaces in between the notes of
anything the guys sing or play, just a solid
mass of undifferentiated sound.

I wish everyone could see 5 people named Zork dancing
in Times Square next week to celebrate the Trans-amphibian
Quadrilateral Peace Agreement Among Sentient Snorggs.
 
Granted. They will stay an additional four weeks and ruin New Year's Rockin' Eve more than the regular cast already does.

I wish people would read their faxes.
 
Granted. Too bad you wrote a love letter to your crush and accidentally faxed it to the wrong person.

I wish I could speak Arabic.
 
Last edited:
Granted! I know a little.
You then forget how to speak English.

I wish my French teacher would finally figure out how to open my file.
 
WISH GRANTED:
Your teacher learns to open your files and
inadvertently deletes all of them. At least,
that's the story you are told about it.

I wish I could take the door off the shed by myself.
 
You take off the door but it's extremely heavy and you accidentally drop it on your feet.

I wish I knew where to go for my next hour of volunteering at the zoo.
 
Granted. But it doesn't reach to your neighbor's house. This is unfortunate, because your house now has no electrical outlets.

I wish my dog wouldn't want long walks when the weather's bad.
 
WISH GRANTED:
You have been awarded the soundtrack for all 52 episodes of
'Courage the Cowardly Dog,' preserved on magnetic tape sound
recording technology commonly referred to as 8-track.

I wish I could use a chain saw without hurting myself.
 
Granted. You hurt your friends with it.

I wish my dad didn't make me watch Pay It Forward last night (It actually gave me a taste of my own medicine, though)
 
You are so excited to be able to speak Spanish that you talk so much your throat goes and you can never talk again.

I wish I didn't have a research paper due in a week.
 
Wish granted! You now work as a mascot for a used car dealership.

I wish to stumble upon the solution to unified field theory.
 
WISH GRANTED:
You discover a 7,000 page document on
Unified Potato Field Theory and spend the
next 15 years as assistant consultant to a
Potato Specialist for the University of Idaho
Co-operative Extension.

I wish that the organ donor for Kelly Platsis on
'Troubled Lives' would turn out to be Lance Beaudreaux,
so that they could show their families that they really do
belong together despite the 35 year age difference.
 
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