conversations why is it hard?

[Liam127]

Why do we always find it hard to keep a conversation going i really struggle when this happens and i just repeat my self without knowing i do as well.

 

[Ylva]

For me, my brain more or less stops talking when I am around people. My speech centers shut down; I stammer, don't know what I'm saying, end up staring at the poor human. I hate it, because there is no rational reason why being close to someone physically should affect me in that way. (And not because I feel for the person: if there is no connection, I figure he is as much to blame for it as I am. Plus, no one dies of being stared at.)

When no one is standing too close or they ARE but without trying to make contact, my brain chats away happily. The only somewhat plausible reason is that it is instinct-related and a matter of feeling threatened on some level. I can sort of forgive my speech centers for shutting down if it is because they notice that I am terrified.

 

[Soup]

In my case, I get overwhelmed & sometimes freaked out by the flood of sensory data I pick up from the person. I get distracted by everything from the shapes of their teeth to what they've done to their hair, how close or far they're standing, what's on their feet & don't even get me started on all the smells (even if these are pleasant) emanating from them. Concentrating solely on what words they're saying & what the topic of conversation is (not always a clear thing!) becomes really challenging. Plus, since I don't enjoy pointless socializing, I never feel motivated to BE in a conversation with them in the first place.

 

[Ylva]

If people don't speak reasonably fast, I won't be able to pay attention to what they say; that could definitely be a factor. On the other hand, if they don't speak reasonably fast, you'd think they weren't very interested in what they had to say, either.

 

[Cerulean]

I don't have much to say, I've never felt the need to fill a silence like some people do, so unless I'm actively interested in the topic or someone is asking me questions I don't say anything.