Confronting yourself but not yourself

[Suzanne]

I have found myself in a situation that is making me feel very uncomfortable.

Very soon a married couple are going to join my congregation (Jehovah's Witnesses) but the sister shares the same name as me and no matter how I try to see the humor in it, I cannot say her name! I also have this bizarre feeling of ownership ie that is MY NAME and how dare you be called MY NAME, which makes me feel horribly embarrassed.

I have met them and, thankfully she insists on being called Suzy, due to the confusion.

The thing is that this is really getting me down and I find myself comparing and I always come out of it negatively. She is very confident and has no issue with answering up etc etc and it feels so strange when others mention her, because I cannot help but look up!

I tend to say: my name sake! And then think: but if she is older than you, then you are stealing her name!!!!

I feel so foolish about all this, since it is only a stupid name!

 

[Southern Discomfort]

So you're basically comparing her as if she's Suzanne 2.0. I can completely understand where you're coming from, as someone who regularly compares himself to his peers and gets clinically depressed by it all the time. I can also understand where your name feels like it's yours only as I have a quite uncommon name, I don't come across many other Dylans.

To be honest I haven't found a way to get past these insecurities of mine but I try to tell myself that I don't see their negative sides of their life (they are definitely there) and that they aren't me, they don't endure the same struggles as me so they aren't better than me. I hope that's somewhat useful.

 

[Crossbreed]

Does she have the same last name, too, or same last initial [like Sue G. or Suzy Q.]? Do either of you have a middle name that can be said out following your first names [like Sue-Ann]? (Just throwing out ideas...)

 

[Suzanne]

So you're basically comparing her as if she's Suzanne 2.0. I can completely understand where you're coming from, as someone who regularly compares himself to his peers and gets clinically depressed by it all the time. I can also understand where your name feels like it's yours only as I have a quite uncommon name, I don't come across many other Dylans.

To be honest I haven't found a way to get past these insecurities of mine but I try to tell myself that I don't see their negative sides of their life (they are definitely there) and that they aren't me, they don't endure the same struggles as me so they aren't better than me. I hope that's somewhat useful.

I am not sure about that one ie number 2. But I am sure that I feel horribly uncomfortable with it all. I guess I have never been in this situation where another has shared my name. One did, but she was always known as Sue and actually that was ok with me, because I have known a lot of Sue's but very rarely one who calls themselves my actual name.

As it happens, her husband finds it a bit strange, because he never addresses me by my first name and I feel damn resentful about that one, because flipping heck, it is MY name lol but do recognise that to him, it is his wife's name. My husband, on the other hand, finds it very amusing and puts his arms out wide and says: hello you too. He also jokes and says that the simple solution is to call me darling ( for that is what he refers to me as) and then joked that she best not look up and she laughed.

Thank you so much for completely getting me.

 

[Suzanne]

Does she have the same last name, too, or same last initial [like Sue G. or Suzy Q.]? Do either of you have a middle name that can be said out following your first names [like Sue-Ann]? (Just throwing out ideas...)

Happily no, she does not have the same sir name as me. I have no idea if she has a middle name, but I sure hope if she does, it is not Mary lol

As it happens, she does insist on being called: Suzy and says that all her friends call her that, but oh dear, a French spiritual sisters has the privilage of calling me Suzy ( for I like my birth name to be announced; not shortened). I admit I did feel rather warmhearted when I related that she has to call me by my proper name now, because that is how the other Suzanne like to be referred to and she said: oh there will always be one Suzy to me, my special Suzy and winked.

 

[Judge]

I have met them and, thankfully she insists on being called Suzy, due to the confusion.

There ya go! Sounds best to keep that in perspective and make the most of referring to her as "Suzy".

 

[Tom]

When I got to the last place I worked and was meeting everyone (It took weeks, it was a big place) I was introduced to a 'Big Joe' and a 'Little Joe'. I jokingly asked if there was a 'Medium Sized Joe'? And my boss laughed and said 'Yeah, there is! He works in Vehicle Maintenence.'

But I don't think the problem is really the name sharing, as it is only the first name, it's that it trips a comparison response in you. Comparing isn't usually very productive, though I know its a natural thing that's hard to prevent sometimes. But in this case if the person is NT, it is even less applicable, like apples and oranges.

 

[ancusmitis]

I have found myself in a situation that is making me feel very uncomfortable.

Very soon a married couple are going to join my congregation (Jehovah's Witnesses) but the sister shares the same name as me and no matter how I try to see the humor in it, I cannot say her name! I also have this bizarre feeling of ownership ie that is MY NAME and how dare you be called MY NAME, which makes me feel horribly embarrassed.

I have met them and, thankfully she insists on being called Suzy, due to the confusion.

The thing is that this is really getting me down and I find myself comparing and I always come out of it negatively. She is very confident and has no issue with answering up etc etc and it feels so strange when others mention her, because I cannot help but look up!

I tend to say: my name sake! And then think: but if she is older than you, then you are stealing her name!!!!

I feel so foolish about all this, since it is only a stupid name!

I have the same problem with sharing names. It annoys me. Feels like I'm talking about myself in the third person, even though of course I'm not. I've tried to choose my own nicknames, usually, except I don't want to get linked to my internet aliases in real life too often. You never know who might find you.

 

[Suzanne]

I have the same problem with sharing names. It annoys me. Feels like I'm talking about myself in the third person, even though of course I'm not. I've tried to choose my own nicknames, usually, except I don't want to get linked to my internet aliases in real life too often. You never know who might find you.

Since there is absolutely nothing I can do about it, I am trying to see the humerous side of it all. Sadly though I tend to take on others emotions, rather frustratingly and her husband is as uncomfortable as me about us sharing this name and so, that makes me feel even worse!!!!!

Because they have not arrived yet, it has been decided that it will be: Suzanne W and Suzanne M ( good thing I do not use my middle name hehehe ie Mary).

I guess I will get used to this. Well have no choice!

 

[metalminx24]

Can I share an experience with you?

When I got my last job, I didn't get the job which had been advertised but one covering for someone who had been off sick for a long time. (Until such time as she'd been off so long that they could end her contract). So I got A job, but not THE job. The person who did get it shared my name, so I was the Kerry who didn't get the job.

I guess I have a tiny idea of how you're feeling. Kudos to you for trying to see the funny side. ☺