Company is torturous.

[Ender]

Today a family member hosted a social gathering at our house. Usually I just "don't do" social gatherings but this time it was inescapable. There were people everywhere, in every room including mine, noisy kids, chattering adults... I tried to get away from it and go to the library but I couldn't focus there either so I went home. People were still there - for five hours people were there.

Being forced to have company is torture for me. I cannot think or do anything while they are here, and when they leave I'm reeling from overload and am very agitated. How do I deal with this? How do you deal with this?

 

[Warmheart]

Everyone with ASD needs a sanctuary. We require solitude to decompress. In your home, especially when company cones to enjoy time with your family, your room must remain a people-free zone. Discuss now with your family, so that in future, this will be in effect. It may not are time for everyone to understand and get on board with this, but you do require a sanctuary.

Be sure not to become "a screentime recluse" in your room. It is not healthy, and is a growing problem in our ASD community.

Anyway, good for you for advocating for your need for your room to be a safe haven to decompress. This is an important step for you, which means it will be easier in future with a boss or spouse. You got this!

 

[Bolletje]

I usually hide in the bedroom when there's company I didn't anticipate. Not the best coping strategy. I'm in the process of creating a tiny working space for myself in our spare bedroom, inbetween closets and wardrobes, so I can retreat and be left in peace when I don't feel like engaging socially.

That's not an option when you have children running around the house, ofcourse, as those are usually not really respectful of boundaries and quiet places.

When there are family gatherings planned (not at my house, luckily) I just gather all my courage, put on a happy face for the afternoon then decompress when I come back home by playing couch potato for the rest of the day.

 

[Suzanne]

I to, usually stay in my bedroom when at least unexpected guests arrive!

I take it you do not have a lock on your bedroom door? If not, can you ask for one to be put on? Because it is actually grossly unfair that your bedroom should be intruded upon!

If they are guests who have been invited, I have to take a deep breath and just look forward to when they go home and actually, tomorrow is one of those times and already freaking out, but have to just get on with it.