Coming out of the autism closet

[Juliet]

I'm a newly self-diagnosed Aspie, mother of 5-year old boy with classic autism, and have spent my 28 years pretending to be normal. I'm at the point in my life I'm just so exhausted with faking it, and I've got enough on my plate dealing with my son. I just want to live my life in peace, read books, play Legos, stare at the water, and obsess over planes. But I also want a partner to fall back on as well.
I've spent so long acting normal, and doing such a good job, that it is impossible to "come out" per say. Adding to the troubles (not to seem vain) is that I'm physically very pretty, and pretty people can't have autism or mental health issues or depression or anxiety, and everything in sunshine and lollipops when you're pretty, right?
I told the guy I was seeing that I was Aspie, and I was pretty much shot down and told I'm a drama queen, can't possibly be autistic, etc. I can be a crazy, bi-polar b*tch, a huge f*cking brat, etc; he has no problem calling me these things, but nope, I can't POSSIBLY be autistic.
If this is what it is going to be like everytime I try to "come out", I'm going to be alone forever. I desperately want that special partner and companonship, and I don't really have any friends and I'm not close with my family. But how can I ever be close to somebody if I can't tell them everything?
Does anybody have any tips on how to come out?
Thanks!

 

[Ereth]

Welcome, Juliet! I hope you're not seeing that gentleman anymore (and I'm using the term gentleman very loosely).

While it can be difficult to tell people about your ASD, it's not impossible. If you had any trusted family members or friends, I would have told you to go to them, but it seems that those options are currently unavailable. Have you considered seeking out a counselor? It might be worthwhile to develop a plan with someone who can help you address issues with socializing.

 

[epath13]

I presume you're not seeing the guy anymore I'm not sure about "coming out if closet", it's more like you didn't know and now you know. And from my experience there are plenty of people who can be nice, accepting and suppotive. As for pretending being normal... I have looked at it that way for many years, now I'm thinking I've done the best I could to fit in, to understand myself and the environment. I've also discovered that there are so many people who pretend being somebody different, "better", more "acceptable" it's not really an Autism problem. My issue was that I didn't know how to express my emotions while I didn't really understand them; how to express my thoughts without being attacked, because my ideas can be quite challenging for some people to understand; how to figure out what other need; how to express my own needs. So because I had trouble with learning all that, I would shut this whole piece out, copy other people's behavior to get some folks off my back, or kid around and shut down and ran away from problems when I needed to take things seriously. Now I understand much more, but I'm still on a long path of discovery. .. you have a son on the spectrum, so you most likely will encounter other people who have kids on the spectrum, or who are on the spectrum themselves. You can always join a support group or something like that. You may choose just to tell people without any drama attached to it for me it was quite easy, people who knew about Autism were fascinated how similar I was to others with Autism. The doctor who diagnosed me said that I was the classic case, the type you would read in the books about Counselor could be a good idea, just search for those who have experience with Autism. As for being pretty people like pretty people, you might actually get more support they might just say, you are so pretty or you are so beautiful, you poor thing it is funny and sad, and true in so many cases... as for friends, the more unique you are the harder it might be to find friends, but it's not impossible ok, I'm done before I start repeating myself