Hi there Grace13
I would love to say that it won't get worse, but being an aspie is not about a passing phrase it is about being YOU. However, saying that, being an aspie, means you can learn to adapt.
The self abuse is frustration and so, you need an outlet for that. I used to have something called a stress doll, which was a tiny ball that I could squeeze as hard as I wanted and it would take it and wow it really did help me, but lol it got so hard, I couldn't do that and had to get rid of it. Actually, I think I will get another one, for sadly, I suffer anger very much.
The biggest help would be if your family work with you, rather than try to make you work with them. The fact that you hit out at others, suggest that they annoy you. So first, get to know as much as you can about being a young aspie and then, see if your parents are open to learning as well.
I get a strong impression that the older one is, when they find out, the better it is for them, but at the same time, I would have loved to know that I was an aspie, at your age, for it would have explained so much of my strange behaviors and the such.
You mention that you feel you might be more an autie than an aspie, accept for your speech? Well I have been looking at this on youtube and it is only when autism is severe that speech is impaired to the extent they cannot speak. But guess what? There was a documentary on a school in England, that is for auties and aspies and the marked difference was that the aspergic child was more violent that the autie child!!!! Also, I read that auties are less conscious of their peers and thus, do not suffer quite the sensitivies that us aspies suffer and anxiety is higher for aspies.
You have joined the best forum in the world, to my mind, and can inbox any of us and we will be happy to help you. After all, we aspies and auties, should stick together lol