Well, with a sample size of n=3, I'm not one to ask, but as always topics about relationships interest me. Dating for me was frought, very hard, and as you say, the first contact is anxiety producing. But, the thing that made it interesting for me when I started dating, was it happened about the time I started putting myself together. Before this I did not have a strong sense of self but worked on changing the negative image I had about myself. The first two dates, the last a longer relationship, I chalk up to practice. By then I had a stronger sense of self and found that, because I was more certain of who I was, it was fun to let another person into my personal space, or at least I found it exciting. Finally, my last date, the keeper, happened unconventually. I called her first to carpool as we both signed up for a Sierra Club trail maintenance project, and we talked frequently in preparation and had a good sense of each other. That helped a lot, because when we first met I had an absolutely horrible day getting filthy fossil collecting when it rained, soaking me and the site turned into a festival of mud, then car problems on top of that. I showed up on her doorstep and she did not call the police . . . a good beginning. Adventures happened after that and because I had no expectations it was a great experience. She also appreciated my enjoyment of all the fascinating salamanders we were finding in GSMNP. We were married a year later and after 42 years still have adventures. That, to me, is "fun."