Greetings from Scotland!
So I started looking into what was "wrong" with me many, many years ago around 2010. Something's not right here. Agoraphobia? Nah. Social anxiety? hmmmm...maybe a little? Then I stumbled upon this term....Asperger's Syndrome....Yes, that does sound like me alright. I took the Aspie quiz, got a high score. (Side note- the results are on an old had drive, if I can find it I'll post it and take the quiz again and post the results, 10 years apart. Could maybe be interesting.) Then I just sort of...forgot all about it. I didn't think that looking up medical things on the internet was a particularly great idea. I left my job in retail. Sunk into learning new skills. Partaking in hobbies I didn't have time for before. Working towards self employment. Things were fine, great even.
Fast forward a great many years, I was watching a Youtube stream of an engineer I'm a fan of and someone in the chat mentioned something about Autism. The Youtuber replied "Yep, we're all Autistic here, a lot of us technical folk!" Ever since then this word has been going round and round inside my head, Autism...Autism...Autistic...? So I pretty much just accepted, yes I'm probably on the spectrum.
But the past year or so, another phrase has been going around inside my head. "Worn out...Worn out...Wow, I'm worn out...I'll just have to tell people I'm worn out..."
So after a bit more research into Autism again, I've decided this is probably Autistic burnout from all the years and years of masking, and pretending to be fine when I'm not. And the burnout won't go away by itself.
I've decided that it's probably for the best that I come clean, just to close family members, that I'm probably Autistic. Maybe work towards easing the burnout and getting an official diagnosis. They already know I'm hugely technical, they already know I'm a recluse and have many other Autism related traits. A few suspect that something is "wrong" with me. I've tried to approach the subject of anxiety and other issues before, but I didn't really get anywhere meaningful. Being Autistic feels more accurate, a more complete picture. I think it's time to try again. I plan to approach the subject soon, around Christmas or New Year.
Thanks for reading, see you around the forums.
So I started looking into what was "wrong" with me many, many years ago around 2010. Something's not right here. Agoraphobia? Nah. Social anxiety? hmmmm...maybe a little? Then I stumbled upon this term....Asperger's Syndrome....Yes, that does sound like me alright. I took the Aspie quiz, got a high score. (Side note- the results are on an old had drive, if I can find it I'll post it and take the quiz again and post the results, 10 years apart. Could maybe be interesting.) Then I just sort of...forgot all about it. I didn't think that looking up medical things on the internet was a particularly great idea. I left my job in retail. Sunk into learning new skills. Partaking in hobbies I didn't have time for before. Working towards self employment. Things were fine, great even.
Fast forward a great many years, I was watching a Youtube stream of an engineer I'm a fan of and someone in the chat mentioned something about Autism. The Youtuber replied "Yep, we're all Autistic here, a lot of us technical folk!" Ever since then this word has been going round and round inside my head, Autism...Autism...Autistic...? So I pretty much just accepted, yes I'm probably on the spectrum.
But the past year or so, another phrase has been going around inside my head. "Worn out...Worn out...Wow, I'm worn out...I'll just have to tell people I'm worn out..."
So after a bit more research into Autism again, I've decided this is probably Autistic burnout from all the years and years of masking, and pretending to be fine when I'm not. And the burnout won't go away by itself.
I've decided that it's probably for the best that I come clean, just to close family members, that I'm probably Autistic. Maybe work towards easing the burnout and getting an official diagnosis. They already know I'm hugely technical, they already know I'm a recluse and have many other Autism related traits. A few suspect that something is "wrong" with me. I've tried to approach the subject of anxiety and other issues before, but I didn't really get anywhere meaningful. Being Autistic feels more accurate, a more complete picture. I think it's time to try again. I plan to approach the subject soon, around Christmas or New Year.
Thanks for reading, see you around the forums.