Mariette
Mom of Aspie
My son is four years old. He exhibits several symptoms of Aspergers but for the most part, he is highly functional and "normal" (for lack of a better word).
It is signs accumulating for the past two years that made me start researching and mention the possibility of Aspergers to his pediatrician. He sent us for a "Asperger's Screening Test" at a vocational and speech therapist simultaneously. After evaluating him for an hour they told me that he does "fall into the Asperger's profile" but because he has such a low degree of it and is so highly functional, that they don't recommend a formal diagnosis, only therapy.
At the moment we are still waiting for the next appointment back at the pediatrician to discuss their report and the way forward.
But in the mean time some new questions have arose in our home, especially concerning discipline.
My boy has always been headstrong, wanting things a certain way, otherwise he becomes hysterical. I always figured that is how all children are, because I don't have much to compare him to, but was then informed from several sources like his daycare, that he is especially stubborn. This is becoming a headache for us every day, because now we are unsure whether he is just being "naughty stubborn", or whether he has no control over his hysterics, because in his head that is simply how it is supposed to be to make sense of his world.
I have many examples.
-Is it normal for a toddler to scream blue murder because he wants to sleep in his shoes?
-Is it normal for him to freak out because his father temporarily parked the car on the lawn in order to do something in the garage? He would not calm down until we showed him that the car is going back where it belongs.
-One becomes highly dispirited if you have to drop your son off at kindergarden, kicking and screaming, because he could not sit where he wanted to in the car because his grandmother was riding along.
These are just situations that we have to deal with that I have no idea how to distinguish. They are not representative of the wider range of symptoms that made me suspect that he has Aspergers. I don't even know if they fall under the symptoms of Aspergers.
I also want to point out that he is a happy kid most of the time. Something like this happens more of less once or twice per week.
It is signs accumulating for the past two years that made me start researching and mention the possibility of Aspergers to his pediatrician. He sent us for a "Asperger's Screening Test" at a vocational and speech therapist simultaneously. After evaluating him for an hour they told me that he does "fall into the Asperger's profile" but because he has such a low degree of it and is so highly functional, that they don't recommend a formal diagnosis, only therapy.
At the moment we are still waiting for the next appointment back at the pediatrician to discuss their report and the way forward.
But in the mean time some new questions have arose in our home, especially concerning discipline.
My boy has always been headstrong, wanting things a certain way, otherwise he becomes hysterical. I always figured that is how all children are, because I don't have much to compare him to, but was then informed from several sources like his daycare, that he is especially stubborn. This is becoming a headache for us every day, because now we are unsure whether he is just being "naughty stubborn", or whether he has no control over his hysterics, because in his head that is simply how it is supposed to be to make sense of his world.
I have many examples.
-Is it normal for a toddler to scream blue murder because he wants to sleep in his shoes?
-Is it normal for him to freak out because his father temporarily parked the car on the lawn in order to do something in the garage? He would not calm down until we showed him that the car is going back where it belongs.
-One becomes highly dispirited if you have to drop your son off at kindergarden, kicking and screaming, because he could not sit where he wanted to in the car because his grandmother was riding along.
These are just situations that we have to deal with that I have no idea how to distinguish. They are not representative of the wider range of symptoms that made me suspect that he has Aspergers. I don't even know if they fall under the symptoms of Aspergers.
I also want to point out that he is a happy kid most of the time. Something like this happens more of less once or twice per week.
Your examples reflect our tendency toward needing to create order in a world that is (to someone with ASD) chaotic, as well as our famous "black and white thinking," plus our challenges dealing with unmet expectations Even when cognitively we understand that we can't always have what we expect, often our neurology cannot well handle unmet expectations, and meltdowns ensue. Neurology, not psychology, is being reflected here. There are some fantastic supportive positive therapies (Floortime, *not* ABA) to help him, and you, feel and cope much easier. 
