Belonging

[blue_bird]

I felt like I belonged (to a certain extent) when I was in high school. There, I had a best friend who genuinely liked me for who I was. Which I still find hard to believe even now. I had a good group of other friends around me as well. They were generally not cool, nor did they excel in academics or sports. I felt like I had a clan, who genuinely liked me for who I was. When I left high school though, I hadn't changed but they had (the ones I still saw or tried to keep in contact with).

To me I wanted to relive the good old days, but to them life was different and they had to adapt. My best friend became distant and didn't seem to enjoy meeting me, as much as I did, him. He had new friends now, and I got the impression that he still liked me, but I was something from his past and not a priority anymore. Other friends seemed to give off a similar vibe. They wanted to grow now, be cool and be liked, and someone like me wasn't a person to raise them to that level. I was replaced by others, and I slowly accepted that my clan had broken up, and I was on my own again.

It dawned on me that the environment (our school) was what kept us together. Once the environment changed our dependency on each other was lost and our bonds slowly eroded. Almost like inmates in prison having a close bond, but once they're released they tend to become distant and go their separate ways.

Other than that I've never felt like I belonged in any way, to any group. Part of the reason was my own problems/perceptions,/inabilities, but it was also due to people not really accepting me (for various reasons: some in my control and others not). Being a shy, insecure introvert just meant that I could never feel like I was good enough to be liked. I felt like an outsider, and when a few others made me feel that way too, the deal to solitude was sealed.

 

[Raggamuffin]

@i-wanna-blue yours reminds me of how I was in 6th form college. Then I met them all a few years later and we were worlds apart.

Ed

 

[Owliet]

Rarely. I had a moment of this feeling at university but before and ever since, I always feel a sense of anxiety and unease. The closest thing to feeling like how it was at university is on this forum but for outside the internet, nothing really has come close.

 

[Aspychata]

Don't feel a need to fit in. Because to be a truly original thinker means to be your authentic self. And sometimes your very existence depends on this including your ability to pick stocks or decline jobs no matter what the pay. Fitting in is always temporary and comes and goes. That's okay with me. But l never had much of a family life so perhaps this explains that. Lol

 

[Omzy90]

I am unemployed now after a breakdown however.

When I worked for royal mail first as a walking postman and then as a post box/business-firm collection driver this was my happiest time I had working because I was out and working alone.

The worst thing about being a walking postman now is that you have to do more indoor prepping for your walk and less outdoor work.

The job before that I worked at Asda as a supervisor I felt under the most pressure in any job I was undiagnosed people accused me of being rude ,non tactful and abrupt and managers said I had a problem managing people and I can't work as a team.