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Being told you are different

Discussion in 'General Autism Discussion' started by Primrose, Sep 24, 2021.

  1. Primrose

    Primrose Well-Known Member

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    I don't know if others can relate to this.

    Many times growing up and even as an adult I have been told I was different or even strange.

    A few examples:

    As part of a course I was doing we had to give presentations and get feedback. I remember being told by the tutor that my voice was very different. He even played my voice back to listen to and all the students laughed. I was very conscious of my voice after that.

    In house share situations someone in the house would tell me I'm strange. When I asked why I got no explanation. Possibly they meant my lifestyle. I didn't socialise. Didn't drink. Stayed in my room a lot. Meditated. I don't know.

    Also told I was different in work situations. It was not clear to what exactly they meant. Could be that I was quiet, very focused on the job, didn't get into gossip. I'm not sure.

    I was doing some art classes. We were drawing each others faces and the teacher told the classes I had different facial features. It was not nice to be stared at.

    I have a relative who announced recently that I was odd, in front of other people. I didn't even bother asking what she meant. I

    I found all this upsetting and confusing when I younger, now it doesn't bother me so much, thankfully.
     
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  2. SimonSays

    SimonSays Time is an illusion I seem to have a lot of V.I.P Member

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    You absolutely don't sound strange to me at all.

    But I can understand why those experiences you've described could be upsetting and confusing, especially when younger.
     
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  3. RobZombiefan

    RobZombiefan Member

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    Oh yeah, my sister used to tell me I was like the X-Men in a good way! I've known I was different long before my diagnoses!
     
    Last edited: Sep 24, 2021
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  4. Sarah S

    Sarah S Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    I have been treated and regarded as a retard pretty much from birth and up to early adult (then it went to I'm just weird and often an idiot BUT my reel friends & my family accepted me as i am ) from most all around me ( Incl the society ) & finally accepted by my reel friends and from the start my family for ALL my diagnosis etc...
     
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  5. Kalinychta

    Kalinychta Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    As though not being a carbon copy of everyone around you is a bad thing and must be pointed out and pondered. Strange how people all insist that they are unique individuals, yet they’re so often mystified by, suspicious of, or hostile toward people who actually are different.
     
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  6. Misery

    Misery Photo-Negative V.I.P Member

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    Something I've always said: If I gotta choose between being weird and being normal, I'll always go for weird. Because "normal" is freaking boring.

    Being "different" isnt a bad thing unless you believe it is.

    What kind of snotball teacher does this?
     
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  7. SusanLR

    SusanLR Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    It seems people have a herd mentality and if you are different to that herd you are reminded of it.
    From kids that name called and made fun to adults that would ask my Mom, when I was a teenager,
    if I was painfully shy or was there something wrong with me, (mentally).
    As an adult, people continued to comment that I was strange and I got the nickname StrangeAngel
    at work.
    There is a book called that I found out about a scientist. So I just learned to ignore it and not care.

    It can be fun now seeing how people react to strange.



    That's me juggling the red balls... ha. Happy Early Halloween!
     
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  8. Primrose

    Primrose Well-Known Member

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    Very true. It doesn't really bother me at this stage, I do feel puzzled that people think it's okay to say things like this to someone. I find it a little insensitive.
     
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  9. Gerald Wilgus

    Gerald Wilgus Well-Known Member

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    I knew that I was different, and already feeling socially isolated, I was in you face strange, with my intellect, with my special interests. I tried fitting in socially at a new school and since that didn't work, went off on my own tangent, just daring people to diss me. But the cost to me was a reckless social immaturity that I had to work past to be able to connect with people when I decided I wanted that.
     
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  10. Suzette

    Suzette Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    My mom calls anyone she does not mesh with "different". I heard it so often growing up I think I learned to define "different" as "I don't like that person but I am trying to be polite". I would always ask her "different how?". She was annoyed by that.

    I have been called "weird" by people I knew were teasing me in a friendly way and once an elderly aunt said "you deffiinately dance to a different drummer". But I've kept to myself so much few strangers ever get a chance to voice an opinion.

    The one that always bothers me is that people ask me quite often if I am from Europe because of my accent. That's not a bad thing exactly but I don't like my voice and it shows that there is something "off" in how I talk.

    But these days I embrace my weirdo status. I figure people are actually envious of me because they are striving all the time to fit a cookie cutter image of everyone else. Me? I get to be exactly as I am.
     
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  11. Ronald Zeeman

    Ronald Zeeman Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    As the saying goes .people that do not know me call me stranger, those that do Strange.
     
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  12. RobZombiefan

    RobZombiefan Member

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    They are envious of your uniqueness because they are ordinary! I'm happy to see you ignoring the haters and embrace it. There's nothing wrong with you! or anyone else here! Stay Awesome!
     
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  13. Ken

    Ken Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Relate? You just described my life.
    Well, except for the voice experience. I was totally locked up petrified to be able to speak into the microphone to be recorded. Still got laughed at. Later in life I have been able to speak into a microphone and my voice doesn't sound like me to me. I don't even like to see myself in a mirror.

    I have mostly been called weird. Sometimes strange, but mostly weird. During my teen years I started smiling and saying, "Thank you" to anyone saying I was weird.
    There is a quote in a movie, "House with a Clock in its Walls" that I love stated by the character Florence Zimmerman. She said, "What's wrong with weird?". I just loved that scene because of how she said it and the context it was delivered in.

    yep, that's what I'm talking about!
     
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  14. Martha Ferris

    Martha Ferris Seeking answers

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    I have known from a young age that I thought and processed information differently. I even went through a period growing up of insisting that I was adopted because I was so different from the rest of my family.
    I have been told that I am quirky, that I am crazy, that I am weird. These are all based on other peoples perceptions and biases. It says far more about them than it does about me.
    I like being considered quirky however and it has been my goal in life to be considered eccentric in my old age. I think I am well on my way. I seek out others who are outside the norm. I find them far more interesting.
     
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  15. Suzette

    Suzette Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Me to. But I can't decide on the image to cultivate. "Scary", wise old crone or fey, ancient elf. I might settle for dressing as a fey, ancient elf with a flowers in my hair as I cackle madly. Time will tell!
     
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  16. Martha Ferris

    Martha Ferris Seeking answers

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    I create eccentricity through my decor both inside and out. That added to my interests and my personality has me on the road to my goal. :)
     
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  17. Neonatal RRT

    Neonatal RRT Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    It is interesting how everyone processes these things differently. Yes, certainly, when you are young and insecure with yourself, and have desires to "fit in",...having someone or a group point out your differences can be quite traumatic. Pointing out differences is not so much the issue in these cases, but rather HOW it was done often results in the emotional trauma.

    As you say, as you mature, it's a combination of emotional maturity, having some recognition that "I don't need this person's approval", being more secure in who you are, and being able to harden yourself and/or being able to blow these comments off. Many of us eventually develop a Teflon outer coating,...nothing sticks. However, it's that crap from our early years that tends to leave that emotional mark.

    Autistic or not, I think this is a universal thing.

    I am 54 now, and I look at this world now through the eyes of an autistic,...and knowing what that means. As I have said in other posts, the world is really screwed up, on so many levels,...due to neurotypical behavior patterns. Frankly, I just want to distance myself from that as much as I realistically can. I will deal with my "issues". I will embrace my inner "alien",...just please don't make me be "normal" because this world has lost it's "bleep'n" mind. If you want to call me out for being "weird", "a bit off", whatever,...thank you,...I will take it as a compliment.
     
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  18. Isadoorian

    Isadoorian Welcomer of Newcomers V.I.P Member

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    I always knew I was different, no one had to tell me that.

    I asked my mother if I was Autistic one day several years ago and she said she wasn't sure, as my Cognitive Delay (which I was dignosed with at first) and Autism overlapped in some areas so it was hard to say.

    This year after 14 or 15 years of trying, I finally got my answer that Yes, I'm Autistic.
     
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  19. Gracey

    Gracey Well-Known Member

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    Take it as a compliment and 'own it, girlfriend'
    *sassy finger snapping*
    :)
     
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  20. SDRSpark

    SDRSpark Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    My whole life. I'm at a place now where those differences are a resoundingly good thing (and seen as such) - my unusual way of thinking means I'm really valuable as a troubleshooter (especially as part of a team of people who don't think they way I do) - I see things that they don't and vice versa.

    Growing up I was "different" "wired differently" "march to the beat of my own drum" "eccentric" etc...all euphemisms for "blazingly neurodivergent" except that, if I dare say "I'm autistic" everyone says "oh no no no don't pathologize yourself! You're just quirky!" :rolleyes: Which really gets on my nerves because there's nothing at all wrong with being autistic and that label is a lot more useful than "quirky". I can't do a google search for "I'm quirky" and find a helpful community such as this one...imagine that, I actually NEED the "autistic" label, but most of the people I've met (including professionals o_O) seem to think it's a terrible thing.
     
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