Being shouted immature makes me anxious

[Tcx]

There's one thread posted in 2012 but I'd like to start another thread.

My question is: What should I do/act being shouted immature? Any way to prevent/avoid from being screamed?

I was shouted 'immature' 3 days ago by my mom, the anxiety and meltdown delayed and finally burst out those feelings a moment ago so I come here fearfully asking this question.
She shouted at me cause I didn't wear heavy coat while we went for dinner. She said "can't you even act like a 21yo adult? Why are you always like a 3-year-old stupid child? You are definitely an adult now don't make me worry about you catching a cold just because you don't keep yourself warm!"
I tried to explain to her "everyone has a different sensitivity to the weather and I don't think I need that kind of heavy coat. We are in a car, going to a restaurant which has parking garages that means we don't really need to wear an extra coat."
Skip those rest nonsense argument. Maybe I was partially right and wrong but it did cause panic while I found that I didn't get her rule. Simply, I didn't connect winter with heavy clothes. I used to wear T-shirt in winter if it was hot enough and that made me be punished by junior high homeroom teacher. But in my opinion, clothes are related to temperature.

I would frequently be called/shouted/screamed/teased(upon on others' mood) immature/stubborn on an average 3 times a week(I have both great short-term and long-term memory so it's easy to count). The whole complicated confusion makes me vomit(right now, so I stop typing and go vomiting and be back). At the moment I recognize I am lack of something in my brain practically, it's like if I split my head looking inside I can find a hole being there.
I don't meltdown because of a problem which is much harder than anything else, I do when some small and silly conflicts appear too often. These trivial things keep accumulating and waiting for a chance hitting me down regularly and they are all called "immature". I feel like haven't being coded lots of rules and I've been teased by my parents/elders several times for acting like a robot-- one order, one action.

I had asked my therapist this question before but she told me "it seems you've got your answer" That was the moment I realized listing all possible solutions I thought confidently wasn't a good way while asking others question.
This almost happens every month and I do need some suggests. I sincerely appreciate all you guys read/respond me.

 

[onlything]

There's one thread posted in 2012 but I'd like to start another thread.

My question is: What should I do/act being shouted immature? Any way to prevent/avoid from being screamed?

I was shouted 'immature' 3 days ago by my mom, the anxiety and meltdown delayed and finally burst out those feelings a moment ago so I come here fearfully asking this question.
She shouted at me cause I didn't wear heavy coat while we went for dinner. She said "can't you even act like a 21yo adult? Why are you always like a 3-year-old stupid child? You are definitely an adult now don't make me worry about you catching a cold just because you don't keep yourself warm!"
I tried to explain to her "everyone has a different sensitivity to the weather and I don't think I need that kind of heavy coat. We are in a car, going to a restaurant which has parking garages that means we don't really need to wear an extra coat."
Skip those rest nonsense argument. Maybe I was partially right and wrong but it did cause panic while I found that I didn't get her rule. Simply, I didn't connect winter with heavy clothes. I used to wear T-shirt in winter if it was hot enough and that made me be punished by junior high homeroom teacher. But in my opinion, clothes are related to temperature.

I would frequently be called/shouted/screamed/teased(upon on others' mood) immature/stubborn on an average 3 times a week(I have both great short-term and long-term memory so it's easy to count). The whole complicated confusion makes me vomit(right now, so I stop typing and go vomiting and be back). At the moment I recognize I am lack of something in my brain practically, it's like if I split my head looking inside I can find a hole being there.
I don't meltdown because of a problem which is much harder than anything else, I do when some small and silly conflicts appear too often. These trivial things keep accumulating and waiting for a chance hitting me down regularly and they are all called "immature". I feel like haven't being coded lots of rules and I've been teased by my parents/elders several times for acting like a robot-- one order, one action.

I had asked my therapist this question before but she told me "it seems you've got your answer" That was the moment I realized listing all possible solutions I thought confidently wasn't a good way while asking others question.
This almost happens every month and I do need some suggests. I sincerely appreciate all you guys read/respond me.

From that one situation you described, it's your mother that seems immature to me. She's worried about you, yes, but calling you 'a stupid 3-yo' is not something a mother should do. You wearing thinner clothes has nothing to do with being or not immature. As you said, it's a question about the weather. You also shouldn't have been punished because of this by your teacher. Your body has a different weather sensitivity, as such you wear different clothes. Would a Russian person born in Siberia laugh or punish a Spanish that has come for winter holidays and keeps wearing very, very thick coats due to low temperatures? If yes, then this hypothetical Russian would not only be immature but also ignorant and foolish.

 

[WittyAspie]

I’m not sure I have any advice but I totally get what you are saying about wearing a coat. If it’s too warm for a coat, why wear one? It doesn’t make any sense at all.

When I was a kid I would often be the only one not wearing a coat. Unless I am going to be outside for a long time I don’t need one. It’s just going to make me sweaty and uncomfortable the rest of the time.

I must correct your mother on her incorrect understanding of illnesses. It is impossible for cold weather to cause a cold. Colds are viral illnesses which have nothing to do with the weather. Cold weather can cause other issues, but if it’s warm enough you don’t feel the need for a coat then the possibility of that is practically zero.

 

[SusanLR]

That's certainly correct @WittyAspie that colds are virus' and not caused by the temperature.
I am another that doesn't like wearing heavy, confining clothes unless I really need too.
Living in Florida, I go by the comfort.
The least I can be comfortable with the better.

I understand all too well about the being screamed at.
It makes me sick also. Or just causes mixed emotions of anger, depression or anxiety.
Being called immature can be hurtful, but, I've found that is pretty much par for the course growing up Aspie.
I enjoy feeling like a child in an adult body and being scolded for acting immature or playful seems to be the norm for the NTs. They seem to have that set rule that at a certain age you are supposed to act/behave a certain way and desire/want to be their idea of the normal things to do.

I grew up with parents that did not scold or get on to me about those things. Others in the world did.
So now I'm in the world.

Think I'll go to bed and pull the bricks around me.
Actually my comforting blanket!

 

[Tcx]

From that one situation you described, it's your mother that seems immature to me. She's worried about you, yes, but calling you 'a stupid 3-yo' is not something a mother should do. You wearing thinner clothes has nothing to do with being or not immature. As you said, it's a question about the weather. You also shouldn't have been punished because of this by your teacher. Your body has a different weather sensitivity, as such you wear different clothes. Would a Russian person born in Siberia laugh or punish a Spanish that has come for winter holidays and keeps wearing very, very thick coats due to low temperatures? If yes, then this hypothetical Russian would not only be immature but also ignorant and foolish.

I have the same thought with you yet the one-sided argument would always end up being punished owing to disrespecting teachers or whatever. And coincidentally I've told her almost the same thing but she shouted at me "FIRST YOU ARE NOT WHO LIVES THERE."
Oh and she has called me 3-yo thousand times, it's like a sign saying "you are doing something wrong. You need to discover it and change it right now." I have no idea what I should do in similar situation. Refusing? Arguing? Convincing others? Learning? Analyzing? It happens too often.

I’m not sure I have any advice but I totally get what you are saying about wearing a coat. If it’s too warm for a coat, why wear one? It doesn’t make any sense at all.

When I was a kid I would often be the only one not wearing a coat. Unless I am going to be outside for a long time I don’t need one. It’s just going to make me sweaty and uncomfortable the rest of the time.

I must correct your mother on her incorrect understanding of illnesses. It is impossible for cold weather to cause a cold. Colds are viral illnesses which have nothing to do with the weather. Cold weather can cause other issues, but if it’s warm enough you don’t feel the need for a coat then the possibility of that is practically zero.

I can recite all concept I learned about weather according to latitude and terrain, virus, bacterial, immune system and whatever associated with this topic. What I learn is that the more explanation, the worse situation can be. Last time I insisted that I was right led to a scary situation, my parents cried and cursed and refused to have further discussion. When they calmed down, they asked me if I knew what I was wrong. It has been two months and 20 days ago and I still remember I told them "I shouldn't ask you both lower your voice. And, maybe I shouldn't tell you I don't want to be a teacher when you want me to be."

That's certainly correct @WittyAspie that colds are virus' and not caused by the temperature.
I am another that doesn't like wearing heavy, confining clothes unless I really need too.
Living in Florida, I go by the comfort.
The least I can be comfortable with the better.

I understand all too well about the being screamed at.
It makes me sick also. Or just causes mixed emotions of anger, depression or anxiety.
Being called immature can be hurtful, but, I've found that is pretty much par for the course growing up Aspie.
I enjoy feeling like a child in an adult body and being scolded for acting immature or playful seems to be the norm for the NTs. They seem to have that set rule that at a certain age you are supposed to act/behave a certain way and desire/want to be their idea of the normal things to do.

I grew up with parents that did not scold or get on to me about those things. Others in the world did.
So now I'm in the world.

Think I'll go to bed and pull the bricks around me.
Actually my comforting blanket!View attachment 40278

Yes it did cause these negative emotions when I meltdown while I don't have a single emotion about this now though. Glad to hear that it's one of the related ASD problem as if I get the permission to ask this question.
Before I knew there was a sentence called NT, I was like "why is everyone being so insane and unrealistic." Now I tend to assume that 99% people around me are illogic, stubborn and unrealistic but they would regard me as the unrealistic one.
TIL: I can't wear shorts in the winter without any reason.
Next time I'll try to refuse to accept their logic.

 

[onlything]

I have the same thought with you yet the one-sided argument would always end up being punished owing to disrespecting teachers or whatever. And coincidentally I've told her almost the same thing but she shouted at me "FIRST YOU ARE NOT WHO LIVES THERE."
Oh and she has called me 3-yo thousand times, it's like a sign saying "you are doing something wrong. You need to discover it and change it right now." I have no idea what I should do in similar situation. Refusing? Arguing? Convincing others? Learning? Analyzing? It happens too often.



I can recite all concept I learned about weather according to latitude and terrain, virus, bacterial, immune system and whatever associated with this topic. What I learn is that the more explanation, the worse situation can be. Last time I insisted that I was right led to a scary situation, my parents cried and cursed and refused to have further discussion. When they calmed down, they asked me if I knew what I was wrong. It has been two months and 20 days ago and I still remember I told them "I shouldn't ask you both lower your voice. And, maybe I shouldn't tell you I don't want to be a teacher when you want me to be."



Yes it did cause these negative emotions when I meltdown while I don't have a single emotion about this now though. Glad to hear that it's one of the related ASD problem as if I get the permission to ask this question.
Before I knew there was a sentence called NT, I was like "why is everyone being so insane and unrealistic." Now I tend to assume that 99% people around me are illogic, stubborn and unrealistic but they would regard me as the unrealistic one.
TIL: I can't wear shorts in the winter without any reason.
Next time I'll try to refuse to accept their logic.

What to do? I would say ignore, dismiss or nodd and go on. Arguing won't change anything.

 

[WittyAspie]

It sounds like your parents are scared of ever admitting they are wrong. My mom was exactly the same way, but she didn't belittle me the way your parents do. Smile and nod is probably the best way forward until you can get out from underneath their roof. Once you live on your own you can do what you want and they can either accept it or go on.