Been in denial for so long...

[Hurting89]

I have had an Asperger's diagnosis/ PDD-NOS (they weren't sure where I fit on the spectrum) since I was 17 and was offered "special services" but turned them down out of shame. I mostly forgot about my diagnosis until I started seeing a therapist recently now at 25 and they the ink the majority of my problems are caused by being on the spectrum.

But for some reason I keep trying to deny this. It makes me feel "unclean" to have this diagnosis. I wanted to scream at the therapist "I'm not an ass-burger!! Good lord!" - it just makes me feel infuriated to be slapped with this label. I hate it.

I suppose it's denial, I'm sure I have it but there's a few things that makes me question the "diagnosis":

- I can read social cues and body language easily.

- I'm terrible at math and my visual memory is awful. Aren't most people with Asperger's excellent at these two things?

- I have a heavy(esque) Ontario Canadian accent. Don't most Asperger's people not have regional dialects and speak in a monotone voice in a pedantic way?

- I don't have any issues with sound or light sensitivity.

- I have no "routine" and don't care about "change"

Like I said before.. Maybe I'm just finding excuses to further my denial but for me a lot of things don't add up.

 

[Jimbo]

What are some of the characteristics that led them to your diagnosis? Aspies do have regional dialects. I speak like a southern country hick while my aspie step dad speaks with a New Jersey accent. Being an aspie is not the end of the world. It is entirely possible to be able to function and adapt to life and actually enjoy it as long as you don't get into situations that cause too much stress and anxiety.

 

[Hurting89]

^ mostly social problems, obsessiveness, apathy and other odd behaviours ( I used to "stim" as a child).

I didn't know regional accents were common with Asperger's or even possible. That sounds silly but most people I have heard speak on TV or met IRL with Asperger's have the classic monotone voice and use flowery words "oh I'm feeling so lugubrious today" ect).

 

[Suzanne]

Well, your list certainly does not suggest you are an aspie. However, it is a misnomer that all aspies MUST have a monotone voice or be brilliant at maths.

I am an aspie and do not have a monotone voice and maths and me, are eternal enemies. I also hate poetry, which is attributed to female aspies.

Female aspies are different to male aspies.

Light does not effect me horrendously; only occasionally.

I can read faces too well, but realised I have learned to, since I am married to an nt.

But at the end of the day, if you feel in your heart that you do not suffer aspergers, then trust your instinct.

Why are they saying you are?

My friend was surprised to discover she is an aspie and only now, getting used to it. We met online and at first, thought it was just me, but the more I related my struggles, the more she said she had the same and took a test and whoa came out as an aspie. She doesn't have a monotone voice either.

To look at us, no one would dream we are aspergic, until one talks to me and sees it ie the way I talk and not.

 

[Progster]

First of all, I would suggest that you don't use terms such as "ass-burger" here - I'm sure it's not your intention, but others may well be offended by it.
If you were diagnosed with AS or PDD-NOS, then there must have been a good reason: this diagnosis is not given lightly, and you do say you are experiencing difficulties. Could these difficulties be linked to autistic traits? Not all people on the spectrum will have the same traits to the same level of severity, it varies a lot. Having AS doesn't mean that you have no social skills or that you can't read body languages at all: most aspies can, but they usually have some degree of difficulty with this. Some of us can be good at finding coping mechanisms, we learn to mask their social difficulties, learning social cues - we learn to act in social situations, and can become good at it. We may have our quirks, but that's no bad thing, many are very talented and compassionate people and can we have fulfilling, productive lives - you should look at the positive and not just the negative. It would be a good idea to read more about ASD, especially female traits, see what you relate to and don't relate to, and use that information to find answers and help for your difficulties.

So, to answer your questions:

- social cues and body language can be learned.
- Not all aspies are good at maths. Many are verbal thinkers and not visual thinkers.
- Not all aspies have no accents and speak in a pedantic way, that's largely a media stereotype.
- Most aspies have some sensory issues, but this was not in the diagnostic criteria until recently, and again only in the new DSM. You can be diagnosed with AS without sensory issues.
- Not all aspies like routine, but many do. Most aspies don't like change, but that's not absolute - some are not too bothered by it, and others like me don't mind it so much as long as they know about it in advance.

 

[zurb]

When I first became aware of Aspergers, I thought I didn't have a special interest, stim or have problems with routine. However, over time, and as I hung out here, I was more able to see these things in myself.

Routine is an interesting one as I thought I was pretty adaptable. The real problem for me is knowing on which task to focus, and the time it takes to change focus. I like variety, but it makes me pretty inefficient.

In the end, for Aspergers it isn't a 'tick all the boxes' approach for diagnosis. If you are missing one or two 'symptoms' you can still have it.
I would ask, does it seem to explain the problems you were having?

 

[Harrison]

NOTE - I have merged the two threads into one

 

[Ylva]

- I can read social cues and body language easily.

- I'm terrible at math and my visual memory is awful. Aren't most people with Asperger's excellent at these two things?

- I have a heavy(esque) Ontario Canadian accent. Don't most Asperger's people not have regional dialects and speak in a monotone voice in a pedantic way?

- I don't have any issues with sound or light sensitivity.

- I have no "routine" and don't care about "change"

Ah, stereotypes. I used to hate them, but thankfully I've grown out of believing them.

^ mostly social problems, obsessiveness, apathy and other odd behaviours ( I used to "stim" as a child).

I didn't know regional accents were common with Asperger's or even possible. That sounds silly but most people I have heard speak on TV or met IRL with Asperger's have the classic monotone voice and use flowery words "oh I'm feeling so lugubrious today" ect).

Remember Elle from Kill Bill? The woman playing her has AS. She does accents just fine, as far as I can tell, though to be fair I've only seen and heard her in Kill Bill and Blade Runner. Maybe she goes for a monotone in her other roles.

 

[Hurting89]

(For some reason I can't quote?) to the person above who was offended by "ass-burger" I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have written that, it's just kind of a nickname for people with ASD in my area as terribly offensive as that sounds.

Anyway Yes I have significant problems socially and "maturity wise". The reading of social cues I truly believe was always an innate skills for me (didn't have to learn it) but how I interact with people has always been awkward and usually ends on a bad note. I have trouble "keeping a conversation going" and engaging people. I also as I said before have typical AS style obsessions.

Though I'm not an academic person. I hate anything intellectual and have no "special talents" which Is why I always felt I never fit it with the Aspie culture.

I'm a misfit.

 

[wyverary]

(For some reason I can't quote?) to the person above who was offended by "ass-burger" I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have written that, it's just kind of a nickname for people with ASD in my area as terribly offensive as that sounds.

Don't worry; it made perfect sense to me in context.

Welcome!