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bad friends growing up

C

cha

New Member
has anyone ever hung out with a group of people that they later realized was a bad decision? I know in high school I chose to hang out with some terrible people just because they always had girls around...but in reality I was the brunt of most jokes that took me way too long to get. Looking back I never really talked that much and no one even listened to me when I did talk.
 
Yes, I was forced to be friends with a manipulator for the entire of my school life. My parents wouldn't let me escape. I couldn't explain what was happening.
 
cha said:
how did you end up meeting this person? why wouldn't your parents let you escape?
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Place called school. And because they didn't know because I couldn't explain. I find it hard to articulate myself. They just thought it was normal disagreements, not me trying to escape manipulation.
 
Yes, though our friendship only lasted about a year before she stole from my house and, got caught by my father who belted her for stealing and me for inviting a thief into our home. That caused all sorts of trouble for my father but, that was his way, you do wrong, you get the belt no matter what the wrong was or who you were, and yes so did my mother if she did something he thought was wrong.
 
That is open to debate. I have had roughly four sets of friends, from different parts of my life, and I have had to break contact with all but my oldest "school mates" group. They have been the ones who accepted me for who I am, saw my positive traits, and shared lifelong interests.

While the other's weren't exactly bad, they all seemed to have an idealized version of me (partly because I tried so hard to appear strong, capable, together). Because of this, I found that I was susceptible to manipulation. They could tell me things I wanted to hear and I was willing to go along with their shenanigans, allow them to take advantage of me. There was a lot of what for me was substance abuse with these groups, something that I can't tolerate anymore. Funny thing, though, those were people I met when I was an adult. I am too accepting of people's flaws.

Now, I have very few friends (mostly the old school mates) who I rarely see because we all live in other parts of the country.
 
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i didnt have bad friends. but i was picked on for alot of times during schools and summer school. wasnt pretty. i guess i strangled a fat kid in middle school. dont remember to be exact.
 
My one and only best friend is still my best friend after 30 years. I have a couple of others who are good friends but my best friend and me have a bond that runs deep. At school I got bullied until I hit my teens and realised I can defend myself. TBH I preferred to hang with the girls at infant school until it was considered uncool to do so lol!
 
I am not sure I had friends who were " bad " people but in hindsight I had friends who had issues that made me an easy target . I should have ended those friendships much earlier than I did ,had I had an ounce of self respect . At the time I think I would have been better off having no friends but hardly any adolescents are going to think that way.
 
My best friend and I never went to the same school, so at school I was the target for bullies. My best friends are my only friends I have that I'm actually close to.
 
Rayner said:
My best friend and I never went to the same school, so at school I was the target for bullies. My best friends are my only friends I have that I'm actually close to.
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Exactly the same he never went to my school ever which was a shame because we would have been our own force to reckon with.
 
Looking back on all the stuff we did it's a miracle the entire state of Texas did burn down and us in the back of some police car. Lol
LeroyT1000 said:
Exactly the same he never went to my school ever which was a shame because we would have been our own force to reckon with.
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unsurewhattoname said:
Yes, I was forced to be friends with a manipulator for the entire of my school life. My parents wouldn't let me escape. I couldn't explain what was happening.
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I was also friends with someone who might be deemed a "manipulator". She did a lot of things to me that seemed unexpected and cruel, but she also seemed unstable and ended up killing herself when I was 13. That's the very short version of the story.
 
I had friends I regret getting mixed up with, stoners and rebels, and I had friends who were friends but stopped because being around me brAnded them a loser. My loyalty is that of a dog my mom used to say. If you're my friend I got your back for life and that loyalty is unshakable but it's not blind either. Betray that trust and it's hard to earn my loyalty back and in most cases you'll never see it again because I'll never forget what happened. Basically that code I created for myself makes my circle really small and if you're in that circle don't be a shady person cause I won't hesitate to make you an enemy. People in that circle, metaphorically speaking, mess with them and die.
 
N64boy96 said:
I had friends I regret getting mixed up with, stoners and rebels
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I don't regret getting mixed up with that group, even if I don't deal with them now. The reason is that they were usually 0% BS. You really couldn't say that about anyone else.
 
Yes. When I was 18, I met a chap, who a year into being together, fell in love with him. Had no idea that my strangeness was to do with being an aspie. I just put up with feeling on the outside with his friends and did recognise that if I were not with him, I would not have them as my friends.

I was told by one of his friends that it was a shame I got sober, as I was far more fun when drunk. That resulted in me, mixing coco cola and whisky, as I hate alcohol and would get very tipsy, before going out with them. I guess, unsurprisingly my boyfriend did not make me feel the need to get drunk.

One of his friends, a girl, I came to see, had her eyes on him and thus, went out of her way to put me down. She told me once that they often thought I was spastic, because of my excruciating shyness and silence. Never occurred to me, she was the "spastic" for saying that.

Another time, they were in one room and a visiting older friend, in another and could not work out, why I could breath with her and put on a mask and feel horribly uncomfortable with them? Of course I know now lol
 
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