Markyg
New Member
Hi There...
So, ive got a 14 year old boy who due to issues at school required attention by a psychotherapist. This professor explained after an initial 90min visit he suspects my lad is on the spectrum.
As he explains the various facets of the condition my jaw is dropping as hes effectively describing my life. I had already explained i identify with E in many ways and feel i understand his 'late developing' maturity and social awkwardness etc.
I essentially am happy now, with myself....i enjoy turning chaos into order, ie plumbing on a busy building site, i discovered i love making things and followed this career once 30. I struggled all my life socially, always trying to bolt myself onto existing social circles while never having the skills to be either accepted, only tolerated, or naturally integrate with my own. However the non-commital, easy going banter of sites is great! No pressure on long term relationships, work mostly by myself and interact when i feel like it....suits me!
Again chaos....im fascinated by it and for the last 5 years have studied climate, oceans, the sun, atmosphere, weather models etc etc. It really gives my brain something to get into, i feel my mind has somewhere to expand into and it really helps me feel balanced (i've always got a subject on the go, but this has been a biggie)
Also, everyone takes the mickey as im wearing sunglasses far more then most, have done for 20+ years. Cant stand bright light oh, in my late 20's i realised i probably hadnt looked in someone's eyes when talking since about 9 when i remember doing it, but spent the whole time wondering if i should look in the left eye, or the right eye...or the left???
So if felt better and better about life since say my early 20's where i was somewhere between nervous breakdown and psychosis.....after i reached a low point i spent much time reaching for some sort of a normal balanced life.
However, as much as this is good for me, and in the sense i can perceive that asd may be a way to explain alot, i encounter 2 problems.
Firstly, ive asked gp (via pointing out duty of care) for a referal for diagnosis to get certainty.
Secondly, the more i become happy and comfortable with myself, it appears im isolating my poor wife who is feeling like im an emotional vacuum, and is desperate for attention i dont seem to naturally provide. Its not even funny reading typical problems encountered by ASD/NT couples....some of the quotes are from our disagreements word for word.
Sadly too, on occasion i feel so boxed in and overwhelmed by my inadequacies i get pretty difficult to deal with.....
Apologies if this is a long introduction....im in a bit of a nether world which is hard to explain.
Basically ok, but wish i had a definite explanation so i could put some concrete perspective on all this....
So, ive got a 14 year old boy who due to issues at school required attention by a psychotherapist. This professor explained after an initial 90min visit he suspects my lad is on the spectrum.
As he explains the various facets of the condition my jaw is dropping as hes effectively describing my life. I had already explained i identify with E in many ways and feel i understand his 'late developing' maturity and social awkwardness etc.
I essentially am happy now, with myself....i enjoy turning chaos into order, ie plumbing on a busy building site, i discovered i love making things and followed this career once 30. I struggled all my life socially, always trying to bolt myself onto existing social circles while never having the skills to be either accepted, only tolerated, or naturally integrate with my own. However the non-commital, easy going banter of sites is great! No pressure on long term relationships, work mostly by myself and interact when i feel like it....suits me!
Again chaos....im fascinated by it and for the last 5 years have studied climate, oceans, the sun, atmosphere, weather models etc etc. It really gives my brain something to get into, i feel my mind has somewhere to expand into and it really helps me feel balanced (i've always got a subject on the go, but this has been a biggie)
Also, everyone takes the mickey as im wearing sunglasses far more then most, have done for 20+ years. Cant stand bright light oh, in my late 20's i realised i probably hadnt looked in someone's eyes when talking since about 9 when i remember doing it, but spent the whole time wondering if i should look in the left eye, or the right eye...or the left???
So if felt better and better about life since say my early 20's where i was somewhere between nervous breakdown and psychosis.....after i reached a low point i spent much time reaching for some sort of a normal balanced life.
However, as much as this is good for me, and in the sense i can perceive that asd may be a way to explain alot, i encounter 2 problems.
Firstly, ive asked gp (via pointing out duty of care) for a referal for diagnosis to get certainty.
Secondly, the more i become happy and comfortable with myself, it appears im isolating my poor wife who is feeling like im an emotional vacuum, and is desperate for attention i dont seem to naturally provide. Its not even funny reading typical problems encountered by ASD/NT couples....some of the quotes are from our disagreements word for word.
Sadly too, on occasion i feel so boxed in and overwhelmed by my inadequacies i get pretty difficult to deal with.....
Apologies if this is a long introduction....im in a bit of a nether world which is hard to explain.
Basically ok, but wish i had a definite explanation so i could put some concrete perspective on all this....
