Autism and Morality

[AprilR]

I don’t struggle when it comes to socializing but I find it pointless If it’s only for the sake of socializing. I’d rather have meaningful connections than being popular. Even when there’s seemingly nothing to gain (career or money related) people often choose to manipulate each other and it doesn’t make sense. No one will make me feel good about myself enough for me to disregard everything else I care about. Means don’t justify the ends. I’d hate using people even though I find it relatively easy, and I become a dangerous person when I’m being used. So I think I’m an introvert by choice. I understand people and why they do the things they do. I just don’t think it makes sense most of the time and I’m not interested in interacting with such people.
I care deeply about people who are on the same wavelength with me, but that’s hard to come by. When I find out I’ve been wrong about someone, it can be devastating. So I confront people when that happens. I want them to know how their actions affect other people. And hope that maybe they’ll be more considerate next time they get close to someone. I do that even when I feel horrible about not sparing their feelings in the meantime. It never makes me feel better to be brutally honest with people though. I see no alternative, or I just don’t consider the alternatives worthy of being options. I could be quiet but then it feels like everyone knows what’s really going on but choosing to pretend all is okay. It’s pointless. It’s insincere.
As far as lying or cheating goes, I don’t worry about the punishment side of it, like you said, no one would need to know for me to feel bad about it. I’d just “know” and that’s bad enough.

Even now, as I remember some of the recent incidents, my mind goes all over the place and I can’t be coherent or consistent. These things shake my core and I watch others go on with their lives like nothing’s happened. It’s incredible how priorities and mindsets of different people can be so far from each other when it doesn’t feel like those people aren’t so different at all.

I so agree with you. For some time i moulded myself into being a doormat for people always being nice etc. But i don't want to do that any longer. I would rather be alone if i can't find anyone i connect to.

I admire you for trying to communicate with people and being honest. I feel like these people are so different from me i can never make them understand.

It's normal for people to drift apart for no reason, apparently. And for people to act too familiar without feeling anything. Saying things they don't mean.
I will never understand why its like that, but it is true. I just accept it without questioning.

Basically i agree with you, i am also an introvert by choice. I also understand people's mindset but i don't agree with it, it doesn't make any sense for me and i don't want to be around such people

 

[Esa]

I so agree with you. For some time i moulded myself into being a doormat for people always being nice etc. But i don't want to do that any longer. I would rather be alone if i can't find anyone i connect to.

I admire you for trying to communicate with people and being honest. I feel like these people are so different from me i can never make them understand.

It's normal for people to drift apart for no reason, apparently. I will never understand why its like that, but it is true. I just accept it without questioning.

And I admire you for accepting it without questioning I rarely do that. I don’t like being confused and I don’t always quietly walk away from confusing situations. For my own peace of mind, I should do that more often, though.

 

[Esa]

It's normal for people to drift apart for no reason, apparently. And for people to act too familiar without feeling anything. Saying things they don't mean.
I will never understand why its like that, but it is true.

Exactly how I feel. Especially the part about people saying things they don’t mean. I’ve actually written the same statement multiple times to different people. I get that they do it when they have something to gain, as unethical as it is, but I don’t get why it becomes somewhat a habit for most people. They just go around like robots programmed to spread inaccurate data. My mental battle with this concept was one of the reasons why my psychologist thought I had traits of Asperger’s. The inability to go along with this nonsense and the inability to adapt to it.

 

[AprilR]

Exactly how I feel. Especially the part about people saying things they don’t mean. I’ve actually written the same statement multiple times to different people. I get that they do it when they have something to gain, as unethical as it is, but I don’t get why it becomes somewhat a habit for most people. They just go around like robots programmed to spread inaccurate data. My mental battle with this concept was one of the reasons why my psychologist thought I had traits of Asperger’s. The inability to go along with this nonsense and the inability to adapt to it.

Yes exactly. It is like a habit, or it's their duty to spread as many lies as possible.

And I admire you for accepting it without questioning I rarely do that. I don’t like being confused and I don’t always quietly walk away from confusing situations. For my own peace of mind, I should do that more often, though.

Thank you, i am just too scared of confrontation, it's just cowardice. But i guess it protects me in a way.

 

[Esa]

Yes exactly. It is like a habit, or it's their duty to spread as many lies as possible.



Thank you, i am just too scared of confrontation, it's just cowardice. But i guess it protects me in a way.

I don’t think it’s cowardice. In most cases, confrontations don’t serve a purpose, I suppose. There was a thread about expressing anger here. This reminds me of that one.
It’s hard to decide which confrontations are necessary. And I usually feel too tired to deal with people unless they mean something to me. Because I believe most people aren’t interested in hearing my opinions or feelings about them and their actions. Therefore, they are uninterested in sticking to moral codes and values in general. Co-existing is challenging when people have glass barriers which I only notice when I walk right into them.
I don’t expect people to be fully transparent but they could at least be more straight forward about where their boundaries are.
Most people seem to resent those who don’t filter or calculate their words. But honesty is a great way to uncomplicated life and relationships. I think it’s also just kind.
When people try to be socially acceptable, they lose sight of what they’d want from other people in the first place. Even worse when they want to stand out. I think they end up doing damage instead of doing anything good for their image. It’s ridiculous that more people aren’t complaining about this

 

[AprilR]

I feel some confrontations are necessary also. And getting angry at people.

Arguments are normal, as long as i am not insulting people personally i don't understand why arguing is bad. By expressing different opinions people can learn from each other and change too.

People acting like disagreements mean someone hates them is so weird to me. And people who are stubborn about their opinions even though you prove them wrong. It seems so childish to me that some people are unable to say "oh my bad, i was misinformed"

But i stopped trying to understand that too long ago. Now i just agree with everyone whatever they say and want them to leave me alone.

 

[Aspychata]

Think l follow the mode of is this an authentic moment that l need to be in? By being overly truthful, is either party (me-them), moving to a better mindset in general? Sometimes l don't wish to, and stay silent. Sometimes l say what bothers me and it doesn't matter one way or the other. But l always try to gracefully make my point and then waltz away.

 

[Esa]

I feel some confrontations are necessary also. And getting angry at people.

Arguments are normal, as long as i am not insulting people personally i don't understand why arguing is bad. By expressing different opinions people can learn from each other and change too.

People acting like disagreements mean someone hates them is so weird to me. And people who are stubborn about their opinions even though you prove them wrong. It seems so childish to me that some people are unable to say "oh my bad, i was misinformed"

But i stopped trying to understand that too long ago. Now i just agree with everyone whatever they say and want them to leave me alone.

I, on the other hand, insult people even when I’m not trying to especially when I share my observations of them.

I find actions and attitudes insulting and offensive, unlike most people who find words and statements offensive.

 

[Esa]

Think l follow the mode of is this an authentic moment that l need to be in? By being overly truthful, is either party (me-them), moving to a better mindset in general? Sometimes l don't wish to, and stay silent. Sometimes l say what bothers me and it doesn't matter one way or the other. But l always try to gracefully make my point and then waltz away.

That’s admirable.

I burn down houses, bridges, etc. I get destructive. Then, I resent myself for the lack of grace in handling things. In the end, it matters to me and not to the other party so I hate those situations.

 

[AprilR]

I, on the other hand, insult people even when I’m not trying to especially when I share my observations of them.

I find actions and attitudes insulting and offensive, unlike most people who find words and statements offensive.

Yeah, this is very much fair, since people's words don't match with their actions usually.

For the record,you didn't give me an impression of someone who would insult someone out of the blue either. If you did, they probably had it coming

 

[Aspychata]

That’s admirable.

I burn down houses, bridges, etc. I get destructive. Then, I resent myself for the lack of grace in handling things. In the end, it matters to me and not to the other party so I hate those situations.

Guilty of this, but older age helps slow your mouth and what comes out of it. lol

l also find l am less judgemental of myself and others.

 

[Mister Anonymity]

I heard that Autistic people who have asperger's syndrome have idiosyncratic moral or political beliefs. Does that mean that people with Asperger's syndrome are intelligent enough to understand that morality is nonsense?

Or are we born amoral? I was told the difference between amorality and immorality is the idea that amorality one doesn't know the difference between good versus evil or care for the antiquated sense of morality, whereas immorality is the idea that someone knows that something is right or wrong, but they don't care. Are aspies amoral?

What is the cost of not conforming to the usual model or paradigm of morality? Are aspies the next stage in human development? If we supersede the old modes of human thought that seem antiquated, is this bad or good? Is this primarily the reason why aspergers is treated as a disorder? We're seen as odd because we lack the basic human ingredient that makes us presentable to modern society? Maybe?

Please let me know.

 

[Skittlebisquit]

I heard that Autistic people who have asperger's syndrome have idiosyncratic moral or political beliefs. Does that mean that people with Asperger's syndrome are intelligent enough to understand that morality is nonsense?

Or are we born amoral? I was told the difference between amorality and immorality is the idea that amorality one doesn't know the difference between good versus evil or care for the antiquated sense of morality, whereas immorality is the idea that someone knows that something is right or wrong, but they don't care. Are aspies amoral?

What is the cost of not conforming to the usual model or paradigm of morality? Are aspies the next stage in human development? If we supersede the old modes of human thought that seem antiquated, is this bad or good? Is this primarily the reason why aspergers is treated as a disorder? We're seen as odd because we lack the basic human ingredient that makes us presentable to modern society? Maybe?

Please let me know.

I like the way you write. Thank you for sharing